Please at what point in a relationship phase should you let old intimate friends go?

We all hope to be devoted to only one man/women as a life partner one day. It’s kind of tricky these days with the rising level of disappointments and heartbreak from men/women. Many people feel like they don’t want to put keep all their eggs in one basket and therefore take the option of keeping other relationships as insurance. People may call this being unfaithful, but any single lady above 30 can tell how many times men have broken their promises to her. But then if your current partner caches you, the relationship is history. Therefore it becomes a risky game. Someone advised yesterday to never sack your other intimate friends rather transit them to family friends. Hmmm! Considering that most cheating and infidelity usually happens with ex-sweethearts (with sweet old memories) they become a source of serious temptation each time you are at low spirit or facing challenges in ur current relationship.

So may I politely ask for your advice. At what point in a relationship phase should one let other close or intimate friends go?

1). Once you identify a suitable mate with the potentials of being your life-partner (after few serious dates)?
2). Once your relationship becomes intimate (just to keep to one intimate partner)?
3). Once two of you start going out in the public, thereby making the relationship public?
4). Once he/she indicates interest through serious actions that you will be life-partners?
5). After a verbal or non-verbal proposal like meeting your parents, relatives pastor etc?
6). After an official engagement with a ring (also called wine-carrying)?
7). Only after an official wedding ceremony?
8 ). Or never let other ‘close’ friends go..Well, keep them for what?

It is a process, not an act.

1). Once you identify a suitable mate with the potentials of being your life-partner (after few lots of serious dates)?

The process should begin. It terminates on or before your official engagement.

Lovetinz:
It is a process, not an act.

1). Once you identify a suitable mate with the potentials of being your life-partner (after few lots of serious dates)?

The process should begin. It terminates on or before your official engagement.

Ok thanks dear. You said 'Terminate' meaning no more contacts with them, or no more relationship with them?

No more relationships. Absolutely minimal contacts.

Woged2005:

...
So may I politely ask for your advice. At what point in a relationship phase should one let other close or intimate friends go?

1). Once you identify a suitable mate with the potentials of being your life-partner (after few serious dates)?

^^^At this stage, he hasn't committed himself in anyway so its too early to assume he wants anything more.

2). Once your relationship becomes intimate (just to keep to one intimate partner)?

Getting to know each other more personally doesn't count for commitment. You shared one or two personal secrets, so what...still too early.

3). Once two of you start going out in the public, thereby making the relationship public?

Still not enough...

4). Once he/she indicates interest through serious actions that you will be life-partners?

How did he indicate this? Verbally? Actions? Still not enough.

5). After a verbal or non-verbal proposal like
meeting your parents, relatives pastor etc?

This should have been it, but its no longer enough...

6). After an official engagement with a ring (also called wine-carrying)?

This is where I would draw the line and kick everyone else out. Some might still consider it to be too early (or too late), but in the long-run it depends on your type of person & how you handle dating.

7). Only after an official wedding ceremony?

This is it for some people.

8 ). Or never let other ‘close’ friends go..Well, keep them for what?

You HAVE to let them go eventually.

Once a person has been relegated to the post / position of an ex, then they should firmly remain there - in the past...irrespective of whether you've got a new partner or not.

No point in going back to one's vomit. Harsh, but true.

Woged2005:
Please at what point in a relationship phase should you let old intimate friends go?

We all hope to be devoted to only one man/women as a life partner one day. It’s kind of tricky these days with the rising level of disappointments and heartbreak from men/women. Many people feel like they don’t want to put keep all their eggs in one basket and therefore take the option of keeping other relationships as insurance. People may call this being unfaithful, but any single lady above 30 can tell how many times men have broken their promises to her. But then if your current partner caches you, the relationship is history. Therefore it becomes a risky game. Someone advised yesterday to never sack your other intimate friends rather transit them to family friends. Hmmm! Considering that most cheating and infidelity usually happens with ex-sweethearts (with sweet old memories) they become a source of serious temptation each time you are at low spirit or facing challenges in ur current relationship.

"...People may call this being unfaithful..."

It depends on how committed you are to each 'toasting' relationship. Are you making implicating promises or demands?

"...But then if your current partner caches you, the relationship is history..."

'Current partner'? If he hasn't fulfilled option number 6 then he's still a toaster. Avoid making implicating promises of commitment & unnecessary demands (finances included).

"...Someone advised yesterday to never sack your other intimate friends rather transit them to family friends..."

I disagree. How would you feel if your partner did the same to you?

EfemenaXY:
Once a person has been relegated to the post / position of an ex, then they should firmly remain there - in the past...irrespective of whether you've got a new partner or not.

No point in going back to one's vomit. Harsh, but true.

^^^Woah! I assumed she meant regular 'toasters'.

@Woged2005, If by 'old intimate friends' you meant previous sèxual partners whom you've broken-up with but still keep as friends, then that's something totally different. Get rid of them immediately after the break-up.

NEVER!!!!!

To 'forsake all others' was NEVER part of my marriage contract, and will NEVER be!
Thanks!

Kanwulia:
NEVER!!!!!

To 'forsake all others' was NEVER part of my marriage contract, and will NEVER be!
Thanks!

Huh?... you mean you still kept in touch with all your Ex's, chatting, texting, sexting, Facebooking, whatsapping, 2going etc? That's dangerous you know?

Na wao