In a bid to avert any resurgence of the Ebola Virus Disease in Nigeria, President Goodluck Jonathan announced today that all flights coming in from The United States of America have been banned from landing in Nigeria until further notice.

He said this was in response to the new case of Ebola reported in the US yesterday, bringing the total number of Ebola Cases to 2 (after Thomas Eric Duncan who died of the disease).

In a press release from earlier this morning, the president reiterated; “Diplomatic Ties between both Nations will remain very cordial, but in order to safeguard the Health and Lives the people of Nigeria which I am under oath to protect, henceforth all flights from the USA are banned from landing at our International Airports till further notice.”

“This is in response to the new case of Ebola reported there. We are not trying to make America look bad, not at all. We are just taking precautions. However I just want to remind Obama…….remember when I asked for Serum and you said No? How’s it now? Tables turned abi? Better stop calling me to ask how I controlled Ebola. Yes I know you’re the one calling with hidden number. My fren I have true caller app on my phone. Abati put it there”

“Diplomatic ties remain cordial, irrespective”

“The ban shall be lifted after the US is declared Ebola free, after which all flights from the US will be under a 6 month probation period, during which all Airlines coming in from America have to pay a token sum of $50,000 for every plane landing (funds will be directed towards disinfection and sanitation as well as serving as a guarantee, in case there is an infected person on board). We are doing this for the good of everybody, American and Nigerian Alike. I reiterate, Obama please stop calling me”

“Long Live the Federal Republic of Nigeria”

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Yes! Do me I do you. Every evil Nigeria has received from countries she never wronged shall be converted to national blessing for us. America will BOW! China has overtaken her economy and this is just the ignition.

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