Have you had any bad friends(frenemies) that with them you did not need enemies, please share your experience,
My experience with a friend I met going through so much,
How would you feel if a so called best friend gossips about you to anyone that could care to listen? I have known this friend for maybe three years and before I got married we spoke on the phone everyday, one day I call her to tell her I had broken up with a boyfriend, I get to work next day everyone knows my story, the girl don call everyone to share my story which I had only shared with one person and that's her. That how I knew she shared the story.
This girl plans a birthday party invites everyone but me, remember I just spoke to her on the phone the day before with no mention of anything, then day after party she calls and is like, "damn there were a lot of people here ,even so and so" am like "oh cool" but deep down am like wtf? I decide not to make her feel very important for bringing up the issue, so I ignore it and let it go.
Third stroke, we are gossiping about some chic we both knew dating a married man it was almost obvious everyone knew about this, so one weekend we have to attend a wedding and lo and behold we run into the chic dating a married man, so this chic hugs my friend and completely ignores me, damn I felt bad, so apparently my gossip friend had passed gossip to her that I told this, really, now she has made this other chic hate me, so I decide to cut her off once and forever without making her feel bad, so this is what I do to get rid of her,
I decide to play phone tag, she calls I return the call when I know she's at work and so fourth till she gave up, I changed my phone number and one day I check my email, she is written an epistle seeking my friendship back, I decided to ignore her forever,
I cannot tell you how peaceful my life has become since I cut her off.

Thats nice.
Nothing more than ignoring such kind of people.

@ thanks mutuwa
I now pick friends like a grain of salt, I have been burnt with bad friendship at this stage in life, my friends are my family and few, when I say few 3 good friends that's it.

What surprises me is that I give it all to friends, iam never a fake friends but buoy, do I attract bad friends, it's like they can pick me in a crowd.

Two of you gossiped about a chick that was dating a married person.



And you felt bad when she gossiped about you?



Thats funny dear, cause what goes around comes around.

@ OP, you are quite lucky for dumping your frenemy before it's too late (just after 3 years).

I dumped mine after 7 years and she almost ruin my wedding , caused a lot of conflict between my immediate family and I, she also gossip about me.

This is a person I help alot but financially and emotionally and never gossip about her.

I thank God that we are no longer friends because I was drained emotionally anytime she start to display her foolishness.

With such friends, you no longer need enemy.

Good decision you made by cutting her off. I would never have allowed her come that close, once I catch negative vibes from a person, I make sure I distance myself from such person.

There was this former neighbour of mine that was getting close to me when I was new in the area. Her gists were mostly about badmouthing one person of the other. There was a day she was badmouthing a lady we just said hello to, then it dawned on me that someone that will speak ill of others to me will definitely speak ill of me to others. Another annoying thing about her is that if she gives you 5 naira, the way she'll broadcast it to anyone who cares to listen, one would think she gave 5milion. I had to cut her off

Tallesty1:
Two of you gossiped about a chick that was dating a married person.



And you felt bad when she gossiped about you?



Thats funny dear, cause what goes around comes around.

I was no upset she gossiped about me, but she threw me under the bus knowingly, we both shared the gossip I paid for it, if you really know what I mean

omoseun:
@ OP, you are quite lucky for dumping your frenemy before it's too late (just after 3 years).

I dumped mine after 7 years and she almost ruin my wedding , caused a lot of conflict between my immediate family and I, she also gossip about me.

This is a person I help alot but financially and emotionally and never gossip about her.

I thank God that we are no longer friends because I was drained emotionally anytime she start to display her foolishness.

With such friends, you no longer need enemy.

Am sorry you had to experience this, such fake friends come about as nice, warm people because they have mastered the art of scheming then they pull a good one on you, never a dull moment in life, smh

dominique:
Good decision you made by cutting her off. I would never have allowed her come that close, once I catch negative vibes from a person, I make sure I distance myself from such person.

It was a lesson learned, experience is the best teacher.

i once had a seemingly nice friend who i was even callin my cousin back in 100l until i caught her backbitin abt me!since dn,she knew i drew a line

Girls don't make good friendship like the guys

No wonder most girls like making friends with boys

but you now call it friendzone

you too are not a nice friend to be with,! sorry i said this,i can not be your friend sis,you should select or pick the kind of friends you want to be.Be The Friend You Need First.If you do not need backstabers of a kind of friend ,pls do not be one too.you are married so get good home building friends who will always help your home grow.

@gidjah

I was lonely and desperate when I ran into this friend, I had just moved to a new town, no family, friends not even a church to call home, then on top of it I had a bad abusive boyfriend, so my self esteem was real low nothing to write home about, so you know I warmed up to any friend that showed up my way, without judging them,
Right now am married life is different,

YungwizzzyPt7:
Girls don't make good friendship like the guys

No wonder most girls like making friends with boys

but you now call it friendzone

i beg to disagree with this notion cos ive had bad experiences with guys i thot were my close pallies back then until they backstabbed me....told lies to my boyfriend at the time. infact they made me soooo wary of friends generally.l

YungwizzzyPt7:
Girls don't make good friendship like the guys

No wonder most girls like making friends with boys

but you now call it friendzone

You are right men have it better as far as friendships.

duperola:
i once had a seemingly nice friend who i was even callin my cousin back in 100l until i caught her backbitin abt me!since dn,she knew i drew a line

That is funny running into someone backbiting you live! Am glad you cut her off immediately

for me, i believe friend u had while u were younger make better friends as u grow....in essence i hardly make new friends..aquaintances....yes but i cannot be close to them like my childhood friends that weve stayed connected through the years(they are best!!!!!!)

Miami11:
@ thanks mutuwa
I now pick friends like a grain of salt, I have been burnt with bad friendship at this stage in life, my friends are my family and few, when I say few 3 good friends that's it.

What surprises me is that I give it all to friends, iam never a fake friends but buoy, do I attract bad friends, it's like they can pick me in a crowd.

We share same ordeals chum..Dts y i put it to you that ignoring them is d best.when another hurts dem much,dey would realise dt u wer one in a million. Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated?
Did you know the one who takes care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most?
Believe me experience has shown me alot.Some people don't just deserve u.

kibi:
for me, i believe friend u had while u were younger make better friends as u grow....in essence i hardly make new friends..aquaintances....yes but i cannot be close to them like my childhood friends that weve stayed connected through the years(they are best!!!!!!)

You are so on point, out of the best friends I have in life two are from back in the day, high school and after high school when we were all broke trying to find a niche in life, another one was a neighborhood friend back then, the news ones am meeting in my adult life God knows why they cannot be true to anyone,

I had ds frnd who is by far my senior .....We washed our 2hands, i work as a chef n baker @Ten O 5 Eatery no day passes w/o me bringing her goodies from work from Chin chin, Zobo,Fura.chicken parts Cakes even when i cook @home i include her sometimes when m not working do help her open shop which is in mkt n close 2my house.....Until i took maternity leave n stopped working @dt she gv me d shop spare key even on Easter day i open shop 4her due 2hubby not around& me Bored wit my pregnancy i ll running (Oso Ahia) stocking d shop wit goods going 2her house some eve. 2giv her Records n money sold because she strted lazing @home Until i gv birth her (nwuye di) told me she said she doesn't wnt me anymore @her shop after my (Omugwo) n she is not getting me anything dt d one i ate in her shop while i was pregnant is Ok. Next i heard her say my Baby is too tiny @birth my son weights 3.5 due 2his height its like he doesn't weigh much he is 2months n 1wk weighs 7.4 (2God b d Glory) she even used her mouth 2confess dt my baby is no longer as she taught.... (dis person m telling u is looking 4d fruit of d womb 8yrs now) D painful prt i saw sympathisers sympathising wit me coz ds woman has told em all my story(Secrets) while i bottled hers. Now i dont bother if people describe me with my story i js feel likea mini-Celebrity...... I didn't cut her off (coz@ a point she ws helpful)despite her Running mouth but i just stop tElling her my Problem #Lessons learnt nvr 2involve Third-party (outsider) in family issue........ #NoVeX4TheLongStory

Women,we are our own enemies.learnt a lot while growing up from my stepsisters. Always full of envy and jealousy.Uptil date.I had few friends before I got married but now I can't even say I have any.one of them in particular wanted to know everything that goes on in my home,what we have and what we don't have so she could compare.I love my life simple and peaceful a beg.

I have had only one bad friend since childhood. This girl was so close to me that I knew her family and they knew mine. I usually go to her house after school and when her mum travels abroad she brings stuff back for me. People called us twins because we did everything together.

All that changed when our semester results were released and I did well while she didn't. She started acting funny. She came back one day and told me something about what her family was saying about me because I was from Calabar. I told someone else about it and the person told me something I will never forget. The person said "its not about what her family said about you but about what she said in your defence". I asked her what she said in my defence and she had nothing to say.

I guess what made me give her distance was when my bunkmate warned me to be careful with that girl that if I hear the things she says about me I will cry. I just cut her off after that. Now there's nobody that knows everything about me except God. I will only tell you what I feel you should know.

@op: you're just as bad as the "friend" you're castigating.

Always have it at the back if your mind that if a person freely gossips with you about others, they'll have no qualms doing the exact same thing to you.

Anyway, I hope you've learnt a valuable lesson here.

Well i think i'v really been lucky with friends then
I do not have many friends though, but the few friends i'v got are good & i always enjoy every moment we share together. I happen to even be the youngest among my friends but i'm a very easy going person & a bit reserved too.

I think one of the things that has kept us(me&my friends) going is we always avoid ill-gossiping anyone whenever we are gisting/chatting together.

Note also that i seldom meet with my friends due to distance & our very busy work schedule. So we communicate mostly through phone or online chats; lol. But we still make out time the best we can to see.

Another thing is that i dont make collective friends (if you know what i mean). That is, the four good friends i have aint friends to one another. They are only friends to me; thus, my friend A is not a friend to or may not even know my friend B (& same with friends C and D also). Meaning i meet each one differently and got to be friends with that person without the involvement of the others. So i treat each one uniquely special.

I guess these might be some of the reasons i'v had successfl relations with my friends thus far (i might be wrong though

@op, try not to shy away from making friends but ensure you chose carefully next time (study well b4 chosing, lol) & you need not keep too many friends too. Good friends are worth keeping i must tell ya.

Op, you think you had a bad friend. I have a history of terrible friends in college. My friends from high school are the ones I'm still friends with.

First year of college, had to squat with a friend, we were all 4 in the room. Had 2 other friends, 6 of us altogether. I was the only one in first year. Never encouraged me to read, even when I managed to pass they spread it around that I was sleeping with lecturers. One day, one of them's boyfriend called me to tell me all what they said and told me that I don't have friends o. So painful. we eat together, sleep, spend, everything.

they just hated that I had the propensity to become someone. only of them (we were in high school together) is still my friend.


one even told a guy I was dating then that I'm a single mother o, that I have a child out of wedlock, not knowing I already told the guy. Many things I can't finish writing.

I thank God because they have surely reaped what they sowed into my life. One spent a year in Aussie and came home because hubby had small manhood. Very yeye girls I tell you. I believe we only were friends because I squatted with them.

Sorry. . .I don't keep 'friends'. . .
I love my 'alone' time tooooooo much!
We fit jam for outside.
No one is permitted IN MY HOME!
I don't visit either!

As long as I have my ROKU3, life is SPLENDA!!!!

The lesson is never discuss your secret with a friend what can cause you embarrasment in the public and be happy with yourself, have confidence in yourself,i want to believe friends who gossip have low self esteem .they can't stand ones personality hence they tarnish your image to pull you down just to let you know you have flaws or out of envy .i have learnt my lessons, at a stage i avoided them because i could'nt trust or stand them .i have made up my mind anybody that can't add value to mylife should get lost.

Well said. No room for friends anymore. Full of wahala.

This thread will make me share d issue im currently facing. Im naturally introverted and hardly make friends. I have 2 very close friends and others who arent that close. My husband on the other hand is more out going and makes friends easily.

He accuses me of not having friends, tries to 'matchmake' me with some ladies and all that. But i just stop d 'friendship' at hi level. This seems to annoy him a lot, but i told him he met me n liked me just like this.

He wants me to call his sisters for small talks, but i call them when its necessary. I dont know how to make him see that some friends are better kept at arms length. Imagine my husband asking when im going to visits his friend's wife just bc he hangs out with the husband.

How do i make him stop pressurising me about this issue?

EfemenaXY:
@op: you're just as bad as the "friend" you're castigating.

Always have it at the back if your mind that if a person freely gossips with you about others, they'll have no qualms doing the exact same thing to you.

Anyway, I hope you've learnt a valuable lesson here.

gbam.nothing more to add

mgbeketoto:
Sorry. . .I don't keep 'friends'. . .
I love my 'alone' time tooooooo much!
We fit jam for outside.
No one is permitted IN MY HOME!
I don't visit either!

As long as I have my ROKU3, life is SPLENDA!!!!

won't you be bored?

SAMBARRY:
won't you be bored?

With things like NAIRALAND or YOUTUBE?
The only things you can get from people is GOSSIP. . . and LACK OF PROGRESS.
Don't forget the BEGGARS!