“I’M NOT MAD, I PROMISE.”
I’m quiet because I’m thinking, which is
also probably causing me to have an
unapproachable, hostile facial expression,
but rest assured I am in a perfectly fine
mood.




“NO, SERIOUSLY, I'M NOT MAD.”
I wasn’t even remotely mad, but since
you’ve continued to press me, pointing out
how quiet I am and asking what’s
wrong for 30 minutes, I’ve grown slightly
irritated.




“WHO ALL IS GOING?”
Will I know every individual in attendance
or do I have to mentally prepare myself to
engage in conversation with people I’ve
never met?



“OF COURSE YOU CAN STAY THE
NIGHT!”
This. This is why I don’t invite people over.
Now I won’t be alone for the next 8 hours
or so, meaning I’ll have to be an
accommodating, zero-privacy-having,
fully accessible host… God forbid you wake
up in the morning and try to spend the day
hanging out, because that would actually be
traumatic.




“I HAVE STUFF TO DO.”
I have alone time to spend, with no
particular activity in mind, but since most
consider that a clear schedule, I’ll vaguely
describe my task list as “stuff.”




(Sarcastically, after not being
invited somewhere) “THANKS FOR
THE INVITE.”
I know I decline my fair share of invitations,
but having my presence requested is still
meaningful and appreciated.




“I LOVE FACEBOOK/TWITTER/
INSTAGRAM!”
Being outgoing on social media is
significantly more convenient than it is in
real life. Small talk to fill any voids of silence
isn’t necessary, and conversations can be
ended smoothly, without an awkward
handshake, hug, or goodbye.




(When getting seated at a
restaurant.) “TABLE FOR ONE… Yep,
it’s just me.”
Please don’t be so shocked or sympathetic
as you seat me, hostess person. I’m not
eating alone because I’m sad or don’t have
options.



“THE MORE, THE MERRIER!”
I am lying to fit everyone else’s outlook,
because my motto, “the less the livelier”
isn’t as widely known or embraced.
“I’m tired. Not sleepy, just tired.”
I’m socially exhausted and need to rest
and replenish my batteries using the
charger that is peace and quiet.




“I’LL DRIVE SEPARATELY.”
I don’t want to be a liability and I’d prefer
having the freedom to leave without
being obligated to wait until whoever
brought me is ready to go home.




“NO, IT'S FINE, I’LL EAT/DRINK IT.”
I was given the wrong order but I don’t
want to send it back so I’ll convince myself
and those who suggest I speak up that I
want to consume this meal or beverage,
even though I’m really just avoiding even
the slightest bit of confrontation.




(At a party) “I'M GOING TO RUN TO
THE BATHROOM.”
I need a few moments of quiet refuge, so
I’m going to stand in the bathroom, take
some deep breaths, and carefully concoct
an exit strategy that can be executed in 30
minutes or less.

MODs FP!

FP just like that, even without any comments

youngpol:
MODs FP!

It's a good piece. But can you edit and arrange the post well for easy reading? That will increase the chances of it making the FP.

eleojo23:

It's a good piece. But can you edit and arrange the post well for easy reading? That will increase the chances of it making the FP.

Oh. Okay..

This is too westernish men! What happened to creative or Nigerianish article?

Karleb:
This is too westernish men! What happened to creative or Nigerianish article?

That's Spanish bro, i don't understand.. Try speaking English.

True, so true.

OF COURSE YOU CAN STAY THE
NIGHT!”
This. This is why I don’t invite people over.
Now I won’t be alone for the next 8 hours
or so, meaning I’ll have to be an
accommodating, zero-privacy-having,
fully accessible host… God forbid you wake
up in the morning and try to spend the day
hanging out, because that would actually be
traumatic.

LOL, thats me.