@Adambrody, Adam Chei! Bros, e be like say dem don do you strong tin! I feel ur pain anyways, just do am softly softly.

Adam brody or whatever ur fucking nick name is,just mind urself and ur words here and dont insult me by calling me an abortee cos u dont know me,ur mannerless and rude with no respect. everyone here try to give advice and not to insult someone .i can see how stupid ur post replies are idiot.

Wow, so much hatred Adam, although there is some truth to your story. No one should abort other than for medical reasons. But the woman has suffered enough abeg. The man didn't walk into the marriage blindly, therefore he shouldn't have treated her in such a manner. Poster i do believe that you have got some real good advice. Please do some soul searching. Now is the time.

Angolobabe:

Adam brody or whatever ur fucking nick name is,just mind yourself and ur words here and don't insult me by calling me an abortee because u don't know me,ur mannerless and rude with no respect. everyone here try to give advice and not to insult someone .i can see how stupid ur post replies are idiot.

Take it easy. He wasn't referring to u.

Angolababe, he wasn't talking about you. He is very crass I agree.

My dear,i read Ur story and i must confess to u i was touched and pitied u and the poor lady, now that the mistake has been made i suggest u go search for her Cox she might end up hurting her self or doing something crazy no sensible woman would want a divorce if she is guilty of her crime but she just want the best for you and that the more reason why u must go look for her and make things right again, i wish you all the best and take care

@angolobabe

Please show me where i insulted you and called you an abortee? I will re-post the exact thing i wrote and please pick out where i called you an abortee and insulted you:

@poster

Don't listen to Angolobabe o! That system is not our culture at all. Either you born one on one or you adopt. But because she is an abortee, leave her jeje to wallow in her suffering! You will always love another person especially the mother of your direct child!

Leave that girl kia kia!

Let her and her ilk suffer for eternity! Shebi that shakara they were doing then and their infatuatin for the third leg has caught up with them, so why sympathize?

Forget her jare! Too many sweet girls and take home to mama boku for out there. Leave those old cargos who are destined to be single and childless for the reminder of their lives!

So why all the insults? You were giving advise to the poster and i said heshouldnt take your advise just because i was making fun of his wife and you decided to insult me continously. Now i have a choice to engage you in trading barbs or i can also assume you are a child on nairaland. So the only thing i would tell you for now is to finish your homework and go to bed. Its way past your bedtime!

Akinagirl:

Angolababe, he wasn't talking about you. He is very crass I agree.

@Akingirl

Why do you say i am crass? For saying the truth and speaking my mind?

Come to think of it, i don give 2 girls belle before o!

Anyhow na their wahala be that! Na their punishment for not agreeing quick quick when i de toast them. All those shakara period of playing hard to get ends up making the guy really pissed in future and its the only way to get back at them, Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

So if them remain single and childless for the rest of their lives, its not my problem but as a man, we always win at the end. One fertile chick will always marry Men to reproduce 10 fold and we will invite those Abortees to come for the naming ceremony. At least the pikin must get Aunty now, while abortee go chop only rice only and the words mama or iya will never follow her till the end of time

marriage is for better for worse,u just cant run away from d woman u pledged to love and cherish all d days of ur lives at d first sign of big trouble

atleast she opened up to u right from d onset,so wat is/was ur problem?

abeg bring d woman back,and dont believe d doctors report,they r mere mortals,d one being dat's got the final say is "GOD" ,thats why hes called "THE IMPOSSIBILITY MADE POSSIBLE GOD", there is nothing he cannot do,if only u BELIEVE

Let's be real for Christ sake. How many of these advisers can really withstand what this guy is going through. I have to tell you that Adam Brody is very correct. Actually, I can't even advice any guy to marry a lady that has aborted before except if it happened due to medical reasons. Most ladies now see nothing bad in abortion. I even know of one that has already aborted five time this year alone (it is not exaggeration). Yet, she sees nothing wrong in this. I even heard her still saying it is not all relationships that leads to marriage.

@ Poster
I understand your predicament. I'll advice you to give your relationship a break for some time before taking a decision, though it might be difficult. I'll advice, you let her go for thorough medical check-up at a specialist hospital, to ascertain her true condition. The worst time to take decisions are when u are angry or excited. Take time to think about the whole situation, and decide if you can really cope with the fact that the children you'll have through these shit processes stated above are not product of your own effort. You are to blame for not going for a check up after she told you about the abortion, but will you now become fatherless because of the stupid decision she took.

Please forget love here, if you are the sterile one, do you think she'll stand by you ? Just forget love and don't allow emotions to becloud your sense of reasoning.

@ADAM you have said the truth but try to take it easy with the lady involve.
Like i said befor, a lesson for other girls out there, the way and manner they abort babies is uncalled for, what i asked is if they were aborted by their mother will they be born to earth?? i pity the girl shall but i think she need to cry to God for forgiveness first befor thinking of having a child.

How can you marry a wife you love, after getting married to her, you change and started maltreating her, while. Give you live to Christ so that God will take over all your problems and if you have a hot temper, keep praying to God.

Wife for give him and come back for him, remember he is your husband, and he love you, so come back home.
don't for get to pray together with him always.

Thanks.

angelina08:

How can you marry a wife you love, after getting married to her, you change and started maltreating her, while. Give you live to Christ so that God will take over all your problems and if you have a hot temper, keep praying to God.

Wife for give him and come back for him, remember he is your husband, and he love you, so come back home.
don't for get to pray together with him always.

Thanks.

are u sure u read what the poster wrote very well

For the next two months, i treated her like a slave

  Really? You were very mean.

i thought she was joking until the following week when a plaintif of the court brought a summons from my wife nullifying our marriage. She wanted a divorce

Plaintiffs do not dispatch letters; bailiffs do! In fact, this ur story is a make-shift. I cannot buy it. I am so sorry.  

They have been married for 3yrs without a child and they decided to see the Dr. for medical attention. After the tests, they were asked to come back for the result and the man went to get it. The Dr expained to him that he his fertile and can make a woman pregnant but his wife has had abortion more than once and this has completely destroyed her womb, so she could never have a child. Really it was truebecause the lady really had fun when she was single but later changed. Unfortunately, the woman never told her husband about any abortion or her escapades as a single lady.

When the man got home, his wife was really anxious to know the outcome of the result and right from the door the man began to shout sweetheart congratulations i was told nothing is wrong with us that we could have as many children as we want and he took her out that day and bought her presents thanking her for given him children already. The woman was so happy and exactly 3 months after, she got pregnant. It was when the man was holding their son in his arms at the hospital that he told her that the Dr. actually told him that day that she could never be pregnant but he refused to accept his reports and refused to tell her so that she wont destroy his faith. The woman was speechless and with tears she confessed that it was true and thanked her husband for bestowing such undeserved love on her. They now have 2 boys expecting the 3rd. So my dear there is nothing God cannot do. Just be sure you know what you really want.

I know miracles happen, and this might be one of them. But I have my doubts about this one.

O boy, you brave o! E no easy to put yourself on front street like this. I say take it easy with your wife. . . . we all are sinners. Let the past be the past because no one is beyond reproach. Take courage.

It is better you let her go because there is no way you will accept her and that stigma of not having a child won't re-reflect in your mind. Those act of mal treating will still re-occur.

So be yourself, be a man and look for another person.

Infact you have betrayed love for real.

@ Ono
Well, waht i wrote is true because i know the couple not personally but i have seen their pictures and the that of their 2 boys. Really it's a miracle. The man really loves his wife and he doesnt want to start all over again chasing and toasting another girl. Love covers multitude of sins, he looked past what she has done and focused on God who is the giver of children. That's why he didnt tell his wife cos he knows her level of faith. but by raising her faith that she could be a mother really worked for them. Where there is true love there is God. A woman was barren and went to the hospital for surgery to remove vibroid, when the dr cut her open instead of bringing out that vibroid a bouncing baby boy was removed! Please when it Comes to our God, forget it, there is nothing he cannot do.

Im not saying the poster should do the same if he doesnt have such faith because it wont work for him. He should get his wife back and they should have a serious discussion about the situation. If he marries another woman, how is he so sure she will give him a child? Even if she has not aborted before, it's not everybody is hasnt got a child today that has gone through abortion. And as for Adam, I hope you know that the fact that a man is potent today does not mean he could not be impotent tomorrow?

Weebee,
It's ok. Thanks.

well this is pretty interesting, to start with (no disrespect meant) the whole story sounds ludicrous! I cant imagine a Naija lady willing leaving her marital home & wanting to dissolve her marriage!

But to the issues - firstly worriedman, I feel your pain. But u were aware of her abortion & its complications thus u MUST have had it at the back of your mind that THIS might happen, if you didnt thats too bad. Needless to say, a pre-marital checkup would have been appropriate. But again, I want to ask you (& many other guys out there) did u fall in love and marry her uterus (womb)? Cus now it appears so. . . since she is infertile (which is inconclusive) by the way, you maltreat her. If you really loved her, you would be willing to work thru ur hurt and pain and sit down to think and talk about OPTIONS with her. I dont mean to sound callous and they say that hindsight is 20/20 - but what has happened has happened, its painful and distressing, i know but you have to think about what next. Personally, children are not the be all and end all of a relationship. They are good, do not get me wrong but u shouldnt compromise or destroy a great relationship based on this issue. A lot of options have been raised and suggested here - adoption, further evaluation by a specialist etc. I would strongly recommend the evaluation by the fertility specialists as you can never say never!

Your (mal)treatment of your wife was quite UNFAIR, plain and simple!

In ending this, how would you feel if u were in her position?

na wa o, y is it that its d ladies/women dat suffers in dis kind of situation? i mean those guys/guy she aborted for that time could be married now with their own lovely kids or kid, and here she is suffering it all alone.
And this thing is presently happening to som1 i know o, This babe has been living with dis guy for d past 2/3 years now if not more, d guy happen to be my ex boy friend's friend. they have aborted up to 8 times now and they are not planning to stop o, and they are planning to get married very soon, i mean is dis not risky for this lady??, and dis guy is very flirt.

I was telling my ex that that guy may not marry the lady at the end of it all, y did i say so? his excuse for not been married to the lady all this while is that because he is from a royal family, their wedding is gonna be a very big one, so he really need to work harder to save enough money, now he has gotten job with Chevron and the money is coming in now and still not talking about wedding, but they leave 2gether in peace just dat am afraid of what could happen in future to that lady.
What if he found som1 else that is much more beautiful or later found out that the lady may not be able to concieve again as a result of the abortion they have had in the past wont dis guy waka fast??

@Adam.

Those sophisticated girls you are refering to hardly abort the way you think.
They know enough to take care of themselves in other ways(not that these other ways are problem free anyway)

Many girls who fall victim of abortion are those who 'fall in love' anyhow. The guy may even be a jobless guy who has nothing to offer who is just hanging around for free sex (cannot even pay for a good abortion) promising the girl heaven and earth once things turn around when he is able to finish school and get a job and the girl will be dreaming that one day he would become Prince charming.

The sad thing is that the guy finishes School, gets that job and decide it is time to move up. he goes after another girl that he had been shadowing for years but never had the courage to approach.

Many posters have adviced women, I hope many single ladies are reading!There is a tendency to think your case is different. Many victims at one time thought thier cases were different!

Aborted 8 times!! Good Lord. This man, you cant tell me that this man gives a damn about her or her well being. I highly doubt that this man will marry her. because if he was, he would have done so already. Royal family my ass. I hope she wakes up one day before its too late. Women, use your common sense that God has given you, never sacrifice your life for no man.

mafolayomi:

na wa o, y is it that its d ladies/women that suffers in this kind of situation? i mean those guys/guy she aborted for that time could be married now with their own lovely kids or kid, and here she is suffering it all alone.
And this thing is presently happening to som1 i know o, This babe has been living with this guy for d past 2/3 years now if not more, d guy happen to be my ex boy friend's friend. they have aborted up to 8 times now and they are not planning to stop o, and they are planning to get married very soon, i mean is this not risky for this lady??, and this guy is very flirt.

I was telling my ex that that guy may not marry the lady at the end of it all, y did i say so? his excuse for not been married to the lady all this while is that because he is from a royal family, their wedding is going to be a very big one, so he really need to work harder to save enough money, now he has gotten job with Chevron and the money is coming in now and still not talking about wedding, but they leave 2gether in peace just that am afraid of what could happen in future to that lady.
What if he found som1 else that is much more beautiful or later found out that the lady may not be able to concieve again as a result of the abortion they have had in the past wont this guy waka fast??

no comments,

even if ur wife comes back, the love wont b d same.

@ poster

I really feel your pain, but think about this.

One doctors report is not reliable in Nigeria -this is a fact so dont make uninformed decisions

Gani Fawehinm almost died cos of wrong diagnosis in Naija until he got to the UK - he told the story himself

even the bible says that out of the mouth of 2 or 3 truth is established.


"Take A Second Look It Cost You Nothing"


Dont die in ignorance, Medical Technology has gone too far, By the way where did you put GOD

Femo2000

you dont understand.

Sorry man but what did you expect when you treated her badly? Any way you have 2 options of having children with her.
1. Surrogate mother
2. Adoption

femo2000:

@ poster
One doctors report is not reliable in Nigeria

One doctor's report is not acceptable any where. It is usually better to have a second or third opinion from a specialist.

I hate abortions, pro-life baby!

JosBoy4Lif:

I hate abortions, pro-life baby!

until u get Gang raped,

back to topic!, i think you need to look into your heart man, and stop thinking with your head, think with your heart

One thing though, you wife must be repentant that she di not tell u ALL her secrets before u married her!
secrets when kept for too long become ghosts and that is what happened to you
make DOUBLE and TRIPPLE sure she is not keeping ANY THING else before you make a decision

while i feel ur earlier pain, u didnt tell us more of ur wife's medical condition, did u find out out if she can be pregnated thru artificial means u know doctors cld plant ur semen in her womb without d usual sexual method, as bad as i may sound, a childless family is really depressing, i'd advise u explore means getting babes artificially, and man u are were at least she told u, about d abortion rather u acted as if u were a saint!!!!!!!!!!!

pray she 4gives u n u both can arrange sometin, like u said u r gainfully employed, spend some of it medically at least u didnt mention her womb being destroyed, so though am not a medical psn but i have read n a couple medical miracles so explore man, it can still be possible.

best of luck!!!!!!!!!!

Emad:

until u get Gang raped,

back to topic!, i think you need to look into your heart man, and stop thinking with your head, think with your heart

One thing though, you wife must be repentant that she di not tell u ALL her secrets before u married her!
secrets when kept for too long become ghosts and that is what happened to you
make DOUBLE and TRIPPLE sure she is not keeping ANY THING else before you make a decision

Yah your right, their is an exception to every rule. But than again who has the right to take an unborn life?

Back to topic
She did tell him, you need to read more carefully.
Now what brother should have done is to go and check what's up with the doc prior marriage.
Now what you need to do is repair this relationship, and pray to to God. All things are possible through Christ.

She is a smart woman and i love her guts. As others have said search your real soul for the reason you want her back, properly after she comes home you will get another wife that will make you a father, typical of Africans especially Nigerians-mixing love with marriage and having kids. Please do let her even though in her own case abortion has made it a bit difficult to have babies not that she can't have but if she comes back to you, you wont give her the emotional comfort women in situation need even if she eventually get pregnant. Please go and look for another baby making factory and i wont be surprised if you don't take care of those kids when they come. Please and please let her go and you will need to learn more about life and situation not to respond with anger and start maltreating anyone. Best of luck