Someone once told me that the type of music a society
listens to is a reflection of that society; therefore the
chaotic music that has in recent time rented the
Nigerian airwaves is a pure reflection of the chaotic
state the country is in. It looks like in the history of
Nigerian music, 2014 has the highest rate of bad,
garbage music being churned out. From watered down
lyrics that do not correlate, to singing different songs
on same beat, the state of the industry leaves much to
be desired. Mind you, this cankerworm of garbage
music is also eating deep into the fabric of the
international music scene. Each time a song or video of
the likes of “ilovemakonnen”, “Nicki Minaj” and so on
comes up on my airwaves, I just can’t! It’s really sad
that the good sounds, with good messages don’t make
it to the mainstream anymore. Nigerians, like the rest
of the world appear to care more about catchy beats
rather than good message. Below are my top 10 picks
of worst hit songs of the year 2014. You may or may
not agree with me though. Some of you may also need
to listen to these songs carefully to understand my
points well…
10. Hakuna Mata by KCee
This song is senseless from the word go!
He started like this “Five star music, E money, Its Kcee
labalo”. What is ‘KCee Lobalo’? Is ‘Lobalo’ French or
Spanish?
In another part of the song, he said “Cecilia bum bum,
cecilia bum bum, Shebi na your bum bum, cecilia
bum”. I don’t know what’s with Cecilia’s bum bum o..
Most part of the song also goes like this..”Oya whine ni
ni whine ni ni Whine ni ni for me oh, Oya shake e ni,
shake e ni, Shake e ni for me oh, Oya whine ni ni whine
ni ni, Whine ni ni for me oh,
Oya shake e ni shake e ni,
Shake e ni for me oh”.
Somewhere, he said “Oya Jikere, baby”…
As if that wasn’t enough, he also repeats this severally;
“Oya baby no wahala, If you need anything just hala, I
be monkey you be banana..”
Hellooo, did he just call himself a monkey…
Then in the middle of these discordant lyrics, this
monkey will jump to the lame chorus “Hakuna Matata,
Hakuna mata, Baby No Wahala” repeatedly.
9. Baby Hello by Wande Coal
This is one of the biggest hits of 2014. It started on a
slow pace and then grew to become a monster in our
ears, but I’m not surprised that he is making this list
because this guy has always sang nonsense.
Remember “Bumper to Bumper” where he sang, “…See
I never see na party like dis, wey gbedu dey make
people high like dis, Dey jolly like say dem dey smoke
cannabis,Dey dance like say dem dey fight Chinese
(Woo Haaaa)”
*pls take note of the fight” Chinese*..continue:
“Das why I blow the golden kiss, na for all of una I dey
blow dis kiss, No be 10kobo na golden kiss, As una don
join me dey rock like dis, take dis kiss make you follow
me..,” isn’t it strange that a Black Diamond is blowing a
golden kiss??
Now see what Wande Coal is still giving us in 2014
“Baby hello, sweety banana(this one too is mentioning
banana again)…Eh she’s rocking Versace,Who’s Nikki
Minajy, Dancing like she dey fight Karate Eh, (must he
mention fight? In Bumper to Bumper, it was fight
Chinese, now it is fight Karate).”
Here is the stage that seriously confused me in the
song;
“Efo to lata, mrs Idikunle, Efo to gbe pomo mi, bi Kunle
Eh, your body bad but sisi ti kun le Idi kunle”. ‘Efo to
lata'(vegetable soup with pepper) and ‘Efo to gbe pomo
mi’ (vegetable soup with Ponmo) what are they doing in
this song?
Who is Mrs Idikunle? Who is Kunle?
My fellow Yoruba’s and anybody who knows the
language well will easily understand the senselessness
of this lyrics.
Finally, this is where the dude spoils everything…
“Comment tu t’appelle? Je m’appelle Wande Coal( I
understand that), but I’ll be grateful if anyone could
help me make sense of the rest of that verse…”She be
dancing *****, *****”
What did he say there?
Wande Coal even repeated his French in one of Flavor’s
songs currently reigning…
“Comment tu t’appelle? Wande Coal, Mr Flavor eh”, like
he can really speak French.
8. In my bed by Wizkid
It’s been long established that this song by Wizkid is a
total rubbish, which like the others on this list parades
lyrics and verses that have no business whatsoever
with one another. The song na real Americana Wonder
like he sang… “Americana wonder,The way you whine
your body Gimme thunder, I go follow you bumper to
bumper Girl, I go follow you bumper to fender,”
(Na Wa o, your body gimme thunder, bumper to
fender.. Issorait)…
But the most fraudulent part of the song is where
Wizkid continues to sing about wanting a girl’s body in
his bed, and then suddenly switched to calling names
of some popular figures. You’d have thought he was
trying to invite them for a Group Intimacy…
“I want your body sleeping in my bed e, I want your
body sleeping in my bed e, You got me going crazy, Oh
girl I can’t explain it, Your body so insane, Oh girl I can’t
replace you.”
Some of the names he called..Agbaje eleniyan,
Fashola eleniyan,Tinubu eleniyan,Otedola eleniyan,
Baruwa eleniyan, Aliko eleniyan, Saraki eleniyan.
Then next is this part which always gives me stomach
ache, because I really don’t know what ‘serving a living
God’ has to do with getting a girl’s body in your bed and
what blessing is there to get…”…Oh blessing follow me
everywhere I go, I’m serving the living God,And
everywhere I go, all my people show me love,
Just tell me the reason gan”
Ok, so what’s the reason gan sef? And on top of all dis
matter wey dey ground, wizkid believes that he is
amazing.
Hear him..”Oh anytime, they hear my song They say I’m
amazing gan”.
Well, it’s truly amazing that a small boy like him can
make so much money and stardom with all that
hogwash of a lyric. Issorait!
7. Dorobucci by Mavins All-stars
This is probably the biggest hit of 2014. Don Jazzy is a
great producer no doubt, but he and his artistes have a
history of churning out garbage. Dorobucci is so
meaningless some people began to doro-call it doro-
occultic. Doro bloody. .Doro
Doro doro do do doro….doro. Where I come from in
Oyo state, Doro is that rubber device used in drawing
up water from a well.
Unfortunately,this is a country where an artiste will just
wake up early in the morning and find out that PHCN
has brought back power supply, then out of joy he’ll
dash straight to the studio to record a song about UP
NEPA! He’ll call that an inspiration. Even Don Jazzy
himself is yet to come out straight about the meaning
of Doro, because the truth is that it has no meaning. A
lot of people are speaking well of the maturity of
Davido’s song because the boy knows well to pay for
the services of professional songwriters.
6. Shoki by Lil Kesh
I hated this song for a very long time, however I had no
choice but to like it after people won’t stop playing it
everywhere I go. Even the NBC ban did absolutely
nothing to stop people from rocking this song which
had the artiste mostly screaming “Shoki Ahhh Shoki”.
Davido however disappointed me this time around for
accepting to feature in this kind of song. He ended up
chanting the rubbish shoki along with the YBNL crew in
the remix.
Hear him;”Oya show me shoki, shoki shoki, everybody
shoki, shoki shoki, and the request say shoki, shoki
shoki, everybody shoki, shoki shoki, oya show me
shoki, shoki shoki, everybody shoki, shoki shoki, oya
shoki, shoki shoki
shoki, shoki shoki… i am looking for that shawty,
with the baddest shoki,
when everybody they shoki,
abi you still dey look for johnny, but if you get case for
body, the town will go make you the shawty,david
please don’t stop it,
i wanna see you drop it now,
for me now, on this ground
oya daun.”
Those are the words our generation is digesting and
we wonder why over 70% of candidates failed the last
private WAEC and there is massive failure especially in
English Language.
By my rough count, there is a total of 200 “Shoki ahh
Shoki” in this song!
5. Shake Body by Skales
Need I talk much about this one? You sef check out part
of the lyrics na…
” Oya shake body, Oya move body,Make you ring alarm
o, Oya shake body…Ah coupe decale ma,Sagasige,
Akilibre,Faro de ma, Decale….decale, Krikata,Krikata
,Krikata, Krikata,Krikata,Krikata,
Krikata,Krikata,Pon pon,
Somunto….somunto,
Kalopere, Kalopere, Kalopere”
Now, what’s all that about
4. Murder by Seyi Shay ft Patoranking, Shaydee
If you listen to this song, even though it featured
Patoranking and Shaydee, all you will hear for most
part of the song is “She say she wan murder, he say he
wan murder, she say he wan do that thing ye” Do
wetin? Murder who You be Oscar Pistorious? …
Now, checkout the lyrics of the Verse 2 of the song
where Patoranking came in again..
“Stay close to me, baby girl come in here Indecency,
Give other girls resist, them fit hate on, Member and
you alone me rate hun, Even your friends them fit hate
on, Fire burning, Girl I’ll keep you coming,Say you no
go running, Every time, girl you keep turning.”
That’s Patoranking, Nigeria’s best Reggae singer at the
moment? SMH!
3. Shekini by Psquare
There is a popular Yoruba proverb which says that
when a child is due for maturity, he/she must put aside
every childishness.
After many years and despite their A-list status in the
industry couple with their global experience, the
Psquare duo are obviously not getting matured at all
with the dissapointing inclusion of the track “Shekini” in
their latest album. I won’t speak too much, see the
lyrics yourself.
They started the song this way…
“P-Square eh eh, Yahn ahn, (Allen [4x]), Yahn ahn”
**who is Allen for crying out loud?**
Then, they said “Lets go…Otu de, oya sare wa gba
kekere, kerewawo, Atu ti de, oya burukutu make e
sarabara owey, (Oya shekini ni ni ni ni [3x]),Oya
shekina na na na na.” (And what is “Burukutu” doing in
there.)
Folks, don’t be fooled, the lyrics sounds like Yoruba but
it’s not correct Yoruba but a mumble-jumble!
Another constant in the song is this verse; “I get power
(ah), me I no dey bother, (ehn ehn)
I no be footballer but I sabi budey Ronaldo,” then they
jump to this lyrics “Take it (slow),Take it (free),
Alhaji (ehn ehn),Ehn ehn (listen),Take it (ahn),
Take it (orijo),Alhaji (okay)
Ehn ehn (hmm)”.
Who is this Alhaji? Well, maybe the Alhaji is supposed
to drink the burukutu they mentioned above.
2. Ogaranya By Kcee ft Davido
Now, I’m sorry KCee has to be in this list a second time.
Personally, I’m kind of confused about him. Maybe his
music is not that awkward. Maybe it’s his
gesticulations/dance steps in his videos, costumes or
tone of his singing voice or his general fashion sense
that is awkward and give off an impression of his songs
from that perspective. I’m yet to place a finger on what
it is. Most of the people I’ve asked have mixed
reactions as well. They really’ can’t say. Ogaranya has a
good meaning; A rich person or something like that.
Some things are just wrong with part of the lyrics and
Davido once again rubbished his own brand on this
one. Check it out;
Intro (Davido)
“A le le le le le le le le le le
On the beat is Del’B…
Its Davido,Kcee Big Boy, E-money”
Now, even though there is a funny way they keep
repeating Ogaranya, I really don’t have a problem with
the Chorus which goes thus;
“Everybody wanting to be a big ogaranya,Nobody want
to sit down dey look ogaranya,Everybody wanting to be
a big ogaranya,Nobody want to sit down dey look
ogaranya, My God dey bless me, ogaranya
No be my fault o, ogaranya
Believing e no do o, ogaranya,Imaya heyyy…
Everybody like ogaranya,
Mama and papa e like ogaranya, The ladies like
ogaranya, That’s why them dey love me”
However, the next statement is what I really don’t get…
“The place is so cold, e dey follow, Dey for body like
logo”..(which place is he talking about? Which place is
so cold?)
Davido made it worse at the verse 2 as his contribution
does not relate at all. He sang..
“Girl I want you to know, The way you see no be so.., E
get as the thing dey go, So baby you take am slow
(Asin??) Shey na now you dey notice,(notice wetin) Abi
u think I be novice, You know say I know say you get it,
Money dey(I thought Davido is supposed to be the
Ogaranya and not the girl?), Oya make we blow
things”(now that is a Boko Haram alert. Beware guys.)
1. Body by Black Magic ft Banky W
The song has now been edited. ‘Sex’ has been replaced
with ‘eh’ but the rest of the lyrics is still as worse as the
original. You can imagine my embarrasment the first
time I heard this song on Channel O. You know how
Naija artistes like to cover up sexual explicitness with
slangs? This brazen artiste called Blackmagic didn’t
cover up anything. Lol. Though the song was released
in December 2013, I feel it’s as good as being a 2014
song and should be on this list to show you how bad
the music industry has become and what your children
are listening to. Here is a part of the song;
“…So stop the fronting, Is what I told this girl,And her
body oh oh, Just wanna get next to you, Just wanna
have sex with you, I swear I want this girl and her body
o o”.
You na never see anything, continue..
“1, 2, 3, Then begin 5, 4, I’m splitting a dozen like 3, 5,
4,I am already sky high, but I need to high more, And
my dumb friend told me that I need high malt Ewo.”…
(Did you see what this guy is singing? Isn’t he as dumb
as his dumb friends? Show me your friends and I’ll tell
you who you are).
See another one here…
“Baby girl what’s cooking in the kitchen, I love the way
you smile, maybe we should start kissing, Listen 30
seconds, then she takes a bra missing, Turn into a
small kitten, And after a while we start gripping,
And after a while o she turns into a river, And then I
start fishing into her hot body, I begin to start dipping,
Her clothes just start missing”.
Hmm,Guys what more can I say? Behold, your
favourite music in 2014.

WTF! !! Dis is rubbish aswear ......dorobucci a worst song? Mba nkutomu! !!

You included baby hello and dorobucci but you didn't include "story for the gods" and "UKWU". . Op,you must be high of jollof rice aswear

Girlie o by patoranking the song nauseates me. My worst song of the year