Someone once told me that the type of
music a society listens to is a reflection
of that society; therefore the chaotic
music that has in recent time rented the
Nigerian airwaves is a pure reflection of
the chaotic state the country is in. It
looks like in the history of Nigerian
music, 2014 has the highest rate of bad,
garbage music being churned out. From
watered down lyrics that do not
correlate, to singing different songs on
same beat, the state of the industry
leaves much to be desired. Below are my
top 10 picks of worst hit songs of the
year 2014. You may or may not agree
with me though. Some of you may also
need to listen to these songs carefully to
understand my points well. Continue…


10. Hakuna Mata by KCee
This song is senseless from the word
go!
He started like this “Five star music, E
money, Its Kcee labalo”. What is ‘KCee
Lobalo’? Is ‘Lobalo’ French or Spanish?
In another part of the song, he said
“Cecilia bum bum, cecilia bum bum,
Shebi na your bum bum, cecilia bum”. I
don’t know what’s with Cecilia’s bum
bum o..
Most part of the song also goes like
this..”Oya whine ni ni whine ni ni
Whine ni ni for me oh, Oya shake e ni,
shake e ni, Shake e ni for me oh, Oya
whine ni ni whine ni ni, Whine ni ni for
me oh,
Oya shake e ni shake e ni,
Shake e ni for me oh”.
Somewhere, he said “Oya Jikere,
baby”…
As if that wasn’t enough, he also
repeats this severally;
“Oya baby no wahala, If you need
anything just hala, I be monkey you be
banana..”
Hellooo, did he just call himself a
monkey…
Then in the middle of these discordant
lyrics, this monkey will jump to the
lame chorus “Hakuna Matata, Hakuna
mata, Baby No Wahala” repeatedly.


9. Story For The Gods By Olamide
Here is a song I wish would quickly go
away. Beautiful rhythm, but this song
glorifies rape and abuse of women in
all its entirety. Story for the gods is all
about getting loaded with local
aphrodisiac(Dongoyaro,Monkey Tail
and Claro), then going ahead to having
a forceful carnal knowledge of a lady.
The phrase “Story for the gods” (means
to refuse to listen, deaf ears etc) Let’s
take a look…
CHORUS:
Mo ti mu dongoyaro, dongoyaro,
dongoyaro And monkey tail, monkey
tail, monkey tail
Aro bami gbe claro, claro o, claro o
(Olamide is saying that he is high on
those Aphrodisiac)
I want to do sina today, sina today(sina
means fornication)
She said she cannot wait o(the girl
wants to go home)
She said its getting late o(it’s getting
late)
She said she want to faint o
Ah, story for the gods(these last four
lines needs no explaining. Olamide
refuses to listen to her plea)
Now she saying mo r’ogo(she says she
is finished)
O ti kan mi l’apa o(he has broken my
arms)
O ti kan mi l’eyin o(he has broken my
back)
Story for the gods, the gods o( but
Olamide would have none of that!)
VERSE 1:
O my God insanity
See your back calamity
Girl I want to have it(ofcourse you
know what he wants to have)
Do I need your permit?(and he is
invariably saying that he doesn’t need
her permission to have it)


8.In my bed by Wizkid
It’s been long established that this song
by Wizkid is a total rubbish, which like
the others on this list parades lyrics and
verses that have no business
whatsoever with one another. The song
na real Americana Wonder like he
sang… “Americana wonder,The way
you whine your body Gimme thunder, I
go follow you bumper to bumper Girl, I
go follow you bumper to fender,”
(Na Wa o, your body gimme thunder,
bumper to fender.. Issorait)…
But the most fraudulent part of the song
is where Wizkid continues to sing about
wanting a girl’s body in his bed, and
then suddenly switched to hailing
names of some popular figures. You’d
have thought he was trying to invite
them for a Group Intimacy…
“I want your body sleeping in my bed e,
I want your body sleeping in my bed e,
You got me going crazy, Oh girl I can’t
explain it, Your body so insane, Oh girl
I can’t replace you.”
Some of the names he called..Agbaje
eleniyan,
Fashola eleniyan,Tinubu
eleniyan,Otedola eleniyan,
Baruwa eleniyan, Aliko eleniyan,
Saraki eleniyan.
Then next is this part which always
gives me stomach ache, because I really
don’t know what ‘serving a living God’
has to do with getting a girl’s body in
your bed and what blessing is there to
get…”…Oh blessing follow me
everywhere I go, I’m serving the living
God,And everywhere I go, all my
people show me love,
Just tell me the reason gan”
Ok, so what’s the reason gan sef? And
on top of all dis matter wey dey ground,
wizkid believes that he is amazing.
Hear him..”Oh anytime, they hear my
song They say I’m amazing gan”.
Well, it’s truly amazing that a small boy
like him can make so much money and
stardom with all that lyrical hogwash.
Issorait!


7.Dorobucci by Mavins All-stars
This is probably the biggest hit of 2014.
Don Jazzy is a great producer no doubt,
but he and his artistes have a history of
churning out garbage. Dorobucci is so
meaningless some people began to
doro-call it doro-occultic. Doro
bloody. .Doro
Doro doro do do doro….doro. Where I
come from in Oyo state, Doro is that
rubber device used in drawing up
water from a well.
Unfortunately,this is a country where
an artiste will just wake up early in the
morning and find out that PHCN has
brought back power supply, then out of
joy he’ll dash straight to the studio to
record a song about UP NEPA! He’ll call
that an inspiration. Even Don Jazzy
himself is yet to come out straight
about the meaning of Doro, because the
truth is that it has no meaning. A lot of
people are speaking well of the
maturity of Davido’s song because the
boy knows well to pay for the services
of professional songwriters.


6.Shoki by Lil Kesh
I hated this song for a very long time,
however I had no choice but to like it
after people won’t stop playing it
everywhere I go. Even the NBC ban did
absolutely nothing to stop people from
rocking this song which had the artiste
mostly screaming “Shoki Ahhh Shoki”.
Davido however disappointed me this
time around for accepting to feature in
this kind of song. He ended up chanting
the rubbish shoki along with the YBNL
crew in the remix.
Hear him;”Oya show me shoki, shoki
shoki, everybody shoki, shoki shoki,
and the request say shoki, shoki shoki,
everybody shoki, shoki shoki, oya show
me shoki, shoki shoki, everybody shoki,
shoki shoki, oya shoki, shoki shoki
shoki, shoki shoki… i am looking for
that shawty,
with the baddest shoki,
when everybody they shoki,
abi you still dey look for johnny, but if
you get case for body, the town will go
make you the shawty,david please
don’t stop it,
i wanna see you drop it now,
for me now, on this ground
oya daun.”
Those are the words our generation is
digesting and we wonder why over
70% of candidates failed the last
private WAEC and there is massive
failure especially in English Language.
By my rough count, there is a total of
200 “Shoki ahh Shoki” in this song!


5.Shake Body by Skales
Need I talk much about this one? You
sef check out part of the lyrics na…
” Oya shake body, Oya move
body,Make you ring alarm o, Oya shake
body…Ah coupe decale ma,Sagasige,
Akilibre,Faro de ma, Decale….decale,
Krikata,Krikata,Krikata,
Krikata,Krikata,Krikata,
Krikata,Krikata,Pon pon,
Somunto….somunto,
Kalopere, Kalopere, Kalopere”
Now, what’s all that about


4. Murder by Seyi Shay ft Shaydee &
Patoranking
If you listen to this song, even though it
featured Patoranking and Shaydee, all
you will hear for most part of the song
is “She say she wan murder, he say he
wan murder, she say he wan do that
thing ye” Do wetin? Murder who
You be Oscar Pistorious? …
Now, checkout the lyrics of the Verse 2
of the song where Patoranking came in
again..
“Stay close to me, baby girl come in
here porn, Give other girls resist, them
fit hate on, Member and you alone me
rate hun, Even your friends them fit
hate on, Fire burning, Girl I’ll keep you
coming,Say you no go running, Every
time, girl you keep turning.”
That’s Patoranking, Nigeria’s best
Reggae singer at the moment? SMH!


3.Shekini by Psquare
There is a popular Yoruba proverb
which says that when a child is due for
maturity, he/she must put aside every
childishness.
After many years and despite their A-
list status in the industry couple with
their global experience, the Psquare
duo are obviously not getting matured
at all with the dissapointing inclusion
of the track “Shekini” in their latest
album. I won’t speak too much, see the
lyrics yourself.
They started the song this way…
“P-Square eh eh, Yahn ahn, (Allen [4x]),
Yahn ahn”
**who is Allen for crying out loud?**
Then, they said “Lets go…Otu de, oya
sare wa gba kekere, kerewawo, Atu ti
de, oya burukutu make e sarabara
owey, (Oya shekini ni ni ni ni [3x]),Oya
shekina na na na na.” (And what is
“Burukutu” doing in there.)
Folks, don’t be fooled, the lyrics sounds
like Yoruba but it’s not correct Yoruba
but a mumbo-jumbo!

Another constant in the song is this
verse; “I get power (ah), me I no dey
bother, (ehn ehn)
I no be footballer but I sabi budey
Ronaldo,” then they jump to this lyrics
“Take it (slow),Take it (free),
Alhaji (ehn ehn),Ehn ehn (listen),Take it
(ahn),
Take it (orijo),Alhaji (okay)
Ehn ehn (hmm)”.
Who is this Alhaji? Well, maybe the
Alhaji is supposed to drink the
burukutu they mentioned above.


2. Ogaranya By Kcee ft Davido
Now, I’m sorry KCee has to be in this
list a second time. Personally, I’m kind
of confused about him. Maybe his
music is not that awkward. Maybe it’s
his gesticulations/dance steps in his
videos, costumes or tone of his singing
voice or his general fashion sense that
is awkward and give off an impression
of his songs from that perspective. I’m
yet to place a finger on what it is. Most
of the people I’ve asked have mixed
reactions as well. They really’ can’t say.
Ogaranya has a good meaning; A rich
person or something like that. Some
things are just wrong with part of the
lyrics and Davido once again rubbished
his own brand on this one. Check it out;
Intro (Davido)
“A le le le le le le le le le le
On the beat is Del’B…
Its Davido,Kcee
Big Boy, E-money”
Now, even though there is a funny way
they keep repeating Ogaranya, I really
don’t have a problem with the Chorus
which goes thus;

“Everybody wanting to be a big
ogaranya,Nobody want to sit down dey
look ogaranya,Everybody wanting to
be a big ogaranya,Nobody want to sit
down dey look ogaranya, My God dey
bless me, ogaranya
No be my fault o, ogaranya
Believing e no do o, ogaranya,Imaya
heyyy…
Everybody like ogaranya,
Mama and papa e like ogaranya, The
ladies like ogaranya, That’s why them
dey love me”
However, the next statement is what I
really don’t get…
“The place is so cold, e dey follow, Dey
for body like logo”..(which place is he
talking about? Which place is so cold?)
Davido made it worse at the verse 2 as
his contribution does not relate at all.
He sang..
“Girl I want you to know, The way you
see no be so.., E get as the thing dey
go, So baby you take am slow(Asin??)
Shey na now you dey notice,(notice
wetin) Abi u think I be novice, You
know say I know say you get it, Money
dey(I thought Davido is supposed to be
the Ogaranya and not the girl?), Oya
make we blow things”(now that is a
Boko Haram alert. Beware guys.)

1.Body by Black Magic ft Banky W
The song has now been edited. ‘Sex’ has
been replaced with ‘eh’ but the rest of
the lyrics is still as worse as the
original. You can imagine my
embarrasment the first time I heard
this song on Channel O. You know how
Naija artistes like to cover up sexual
explicitness with slangs? This brazen
artiste called Blackmagic didn’t cover
up anything. Lol. Though the song was
released in December 2013, I feel it’s as
good as being a 2014 song and should
be on this list to show you how bad the
music industry has become and what
your children are listening to. Here is a
part of the song;
“…So stop the fronting, Is what I told
this girl,And her body oh oh, Just
wanna get next to you, Just wanna have
sex with you, I swear I want this girl
and her body o o”.
You na never see anything, continue..
“1, 2, 3, Then begin 5, 4, I’m splitting a
dozen like 3, 5, 4,I am already sky high,
but I need to high more, And my dumb
friend told me that I need high malt
Ewo.”…
(Did you see what this guy is singing?
Isn’t he as dumb as his dumb friends?
Show me your friends and I’ll tell you
who you are).
See another one here…
“Baby girl what’s cooking in the
kitchen, I love the way you smile,
maybe we should start kissing, Listen
30 seconds, then she takes a bra
missing, Turn into a small kitten, And
after a while we start gripping,
And after a while o she turns into a
river, And then I start fishing into her
hot body, I begin to start dipping, Her
clothes just start missing”.
Hmm,Guys what more can I say?

Behold, your favourite songs of 2014!!!

Written by morakinyo olugbiji

One Word for the Op; CLUELESS !

saaedlee:
One Word for the Op; CLUELESS !

One word for saaedlee "Frustration"

In my bed is like the whackest song ever!!! Too bad i had to listen to it in a school bus.

I hope that for your sake you can make a list of the 10 things you achieved in 2014.

lol Neldrizzy all this songs wey you mention here na him wan girl wan use twerking kill me yesterday. Great jamz jare

Akinmail:
I hope that for your sake you can make a list of the 10 things you achieved in 2014.

i have already done that 3 days ago, check My previous topic Чou will see it... *satisfied*

HonourablePomk:
lol Neldrizzy all this songs wey you mention here na him wan girl wan use twerking kill me yesterday. Great jamz jare

great jams, YES!! But meaningless...

Nigerians always singing wack songs but still making money out of it and that's really funny tho

Neldrizzy:
great jams, YES!! But meaningless...

We don't listen to lyrics again just the beatz we flow with it. That's Nigerians For You.

HonourablePomk:


We don't listen to lyrics again just the beatz we flow with it. That's Nigerians For You.

truth