New year is the time when people make resolutions and try to stick to them for the rest of the year.However, a lot of people find it difficult to maintain the resolutions and break them half way, or even before.This funny practice has given birth to lot of humorous New year resolutions.Check out for the funny lists.

*Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.
*Remember to brush teeth with bristly end of toothbrush.
*Don't eat each medicine just because it looks like Candy.
*Always replace d gas nozzle b4 driving away 4rm d pump station.
*I will always "check 4 paper" wen leaving d restroom.
*I will drive closer to d speed limit.
*I will kip an xtra safe distance wen driving behind police cars.
*I will bore nt bore my boss with the same excuse 4 leaves.I will think of sum more excuses.
*I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.
*I will avoid taking a bath wenever possible 2 conserve more water.
*I will try 2 figure out why I really nid nine e-mails 2 my Girlfriend.
*I will stop sending love messages 2 my Girlfriend.
*I will spend less dan 1hr a day on d Internet.This, of course, will be hard 2 estimate since I'm nt a clock watcher.
*I will nt tell d same story at any get together.
*Read fewer books.A little learning is a dangerous thing.Too much of it can really wreck ur head.
*Watch mor TV.It's very educational.Catch up on all those programs you missed down d years.
*I will not ring d Stewardness button on airplanes just 2 get her phone number.
*I will not wet d bed and blame it on my younger brother/Sister.

You Guyz can also add urz...Lets kip d fun going..

*Always brush my teeth b4 toasting a gal..lol!

Take up some worthwhile new habit, like smoking - it helps keep tobacco workers in jobs.

Play more computer games. Scientists say they're good for you and improve your visual skills. But you always knew that.

I will always Work less.Because all work without play makes I a dull boy..

Lame attempt at humor. This sh!t should be moved to sexuality section

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I will neva ask a gal out until I buy a car