I offered to post this on behalf of a friend to get opinions of different folks. She is slightly above 30yrs and has been in a marriage of 10 years which has been 2 days hot, 5 days warm and the rest days of the month were cold affair. With two children in the marriage,its been the other way round of the wife always asking and begging profusely for sex from the husband which she claims comes only when he pleases maybe once in a month or once in three or more months. The husbands lack of care, affection and financial/ emotional support makes the matter worse.

Her parents told her to hold on, husbands family said they will talk to him and he will change, their pastor told her to keep praying God will turn the situation around and till the last moment I discussed with her, my friend said she is yet to see a positive change. The final straw came when she claimed she stripped herself to beg husband to sleep with her and he refused vehemently only to see sealed and empty pack of condoms in his box.

With tears in her eyes, she came over to my abode, looked at me and asked what she should do. Should she walk out of the marriage or keep praying for a change? I sincerely told her, I do not know what to say but promised to get her opinions of different folks from different backgrounds. Please send in your comment.

Prayer is the key but if you can't pray very well just stop beging for sex.sex is not food. You can help your husband crash the marrage by bringing in men to his home. No time abeg,marrage is supposed to be enjoyed no to endure.

Wow! What an ashhhhshole! Abeg stop begging. Continue praying and get your groove back(God no go vex).He nolonger finds her desirable ni, I'm sure someone will be happy to. Once you stop begging and look outward, he would notice and ask for reaccessment. Be ready for any outcome

Most likely gay, forced to marry in our intolerant society to appear normal.
Usually after they have kids to prove to the world that they are not gay they stop sleeping with the wife. She most likely can't even make him cu-m

This could help the single ladies who want to helped, a little bit of phone snooping could save your future too. However knowing our women we will probably ignore the signs and hope he " changes"

Article written by LIB reader, Daniel Teinye. Read below...
The recent laws on homosexuality has turned most Nigerian men Bi-sexuals. You have to be scared not because Ikenna is flirting with Judith, in fact clap for Jesus if he is...because Ikenna could be Kingsley's lover.

Here are the signs your man is another man's man.
1. There is something weird about some of his friends,most of whom he shares long history with.
2. He spends more time with his "guys" than with you.
3. He and his friend(s) speak coded words when around you.



4. He is too conscious of his looks when "hanging out with the boys".

5. He doesn't take calls from unknown numbers around you.

6. He doesn't have sex with you on a regular.

7. He is very free with "your girls" and could entertain them well in your absence.

8. He spends most nights out with the excuse of "baby,it was late...had to sleep at kunle's"

9.HIS "FRIENDS" DON'T LIKE YOU

10. He is always on social media.

11. His friend list is more of men than women.

12. His facebook reads "Interested in Men and Women.

13. You cannot have his facebook password.

14. His phone is always locked.

15. He takes you out only on occasions.

...don't be a lesbian! (Having sex with a man who is another's wife).
Know your man TODAY!

Article by:
Daniel Teinye Boyle

The choice is hers. There is something called sexual frustration which can lead to madness!

Na me talk that one o no be medical research o.

those of you saying she should pray have serious problem I swear. for how long will she keep praying, gosh! is it even on sex she will keep praying?

she just have to decide what yo do by herself and be ready to take responsibilities for anything she did, the choice to be happy is in her hands and she has to decide for herself... now

This is a serious issues. However she just has to stop begging. Nothing worse than a woman begging for sex and getting rejected. She should take out time to work on herself( if she has lost shape). Let her hit the gym and get her groove back. Sex is important, but us women can stay longer without it, so she should chill.

Tell ur friend it is time to start "Away Match" in SECRECY cuz that is very important.
She should find 1 young hot boy, seduce him & start they should start shaggin steadily.
The husband is not doin his duty & not willing to change. She needs to be oiling her machine well. She will find alot of young, smart & hot men who are willin to help her out.
Sexual fustration can make a human go crazy. Its a sad suitation she is in.
Tell her to be as discrete as possible & she should be careful who she choose to have the affair with. Men are very territorial, d alphaMale ego will make him mad if he finds out.
Social media has made things easy.
I can hook her up if she is game.

Certain things are clear here.
1. The husband is having sex outside.
2. His family don't have influence on him.
3. This is not a prayer situation. (Am a fervent believer in prayer).
This is my advice.
1. She should work on herself, her look, dress etc.
2. She should tell his family what happened this last time.
3. Lastly, give him more time while she does the above.
If situation persist, she should file for divorce.
There are still many responsible men out there looking for divorcee.
In a marriage where the husband family can talk to the husband, does not worth it.

Tell her to get fit, get attractive, stop making herself look like a beggar. she should get a seperate room too. maybe the man doesn't have interest coz he doesn't like what he sees

eunisam:
Prayer is the key but if you can't pray very well just stop beging for sex.sex is not food. You can help your husband crash the marrage by bringing in men to his home. No time abeg,marrage is supposed to be enjoyed no to endure.

hiannn prayer is the key indeed. Everything is prayer is the key. Why didn't you pray to God to wear your pant for you or help you miraculously wash your bathroom. PLEASE stop abusing whatever religion through which you worship your God. God didn't give is medula oblangata for nothing. Use it


when a man is denying his wife for sek prayer is always the key in the Nigeriian chorus abi is it food

BUT






when the wife is denying the husband of sek I will have read 160 advises of the list and names of ashewo joints in lagos that he needs to visit or there are many fish pounds in calabar

Prayer prayer prayer. Abeg stop abusing prayer o jare.like its the the prayers that will make his ppeeeniiss stand

blessedvisky:
Tell her to get fit, get attractive, stop making herself look like a beggar. she should get a seperate room too. maybe the man doesn't have interest coz he doesn't like what he sees

can you give this same red pant (boxers) advice if it was the other way around. The hypocrisy here is stinking

@ OP: Ask your friend about her personal hygiene. Does she stink down there? It could be a reason. That is one thing that can keep a straight man from wanting to touch a lady.

However, if it is not the above, then he is either getting it outside from a fiery babe or the dude is gay.

She shld try all available options b4 she gives up on the marriage.

SAMBARRY:
can you give this same red pant (boxers) advice if it was the other way around. The hypocrisy here is stinking

WTH do u mean if it were d other way around, then na away matches go sure

blessedvisky:
WTH do u mean if it were d other way around, then na away matches go sure

so why you no tell am say make she do away matches. Which one con be abosi

SAMBARRY:
so why you no tell am say make she do away matches. Which one con be abosi

well from the post, its obvious she wants it from the husband, so she should work on herself and ,make herself desirable. who knows, she may be .

is Prayer is the key the only phrase you can caption and capitalize on?

SAMBARRY:
hiannn prayer is the key indeed. Everything is prayer is the key. Why didn't you pray to God to wear your pant for you or help you miraculously wash your bathroom. PLEASE stop abusing whatever religion through which you worship your God. God didn't give is medula oblangata for nothing. Use it


when a man is denying his wife for sek prayer is always the key in the Nigeriian chorus abi is it food

BUT






when the wife is denying the husband of sek I will have read 160 advises of the list and names of ashewo joints in lagos that he needs to visit or there are many fish pounds in calabar

Prayer prayer prayer. Abeg stop abusing prayer o jare.like its the the prayers that will make his ppeeeniiss stand

@Radiantlola

Was this the case before they got married?
If not, what changed?
What qualities did she have that made him marry her?
What qualities did he have that made she agree to marry him?

Ten years and two kids is a long time and a long investment. A lot of changes, both physical and emotional, would have taken place.

Did this denial of sex start recently like 6months to a year ago? If yes, then its most likely he is having an affair.
If it has been longer than this then it is a habit thing. Maybe reduced libido om his part as wife's own increases with age. Maybe madam has gained weight in the wrong places. Men are very physical and if he finds she resembles the Michelin man more than the svelte beauty he married, he may no longer have the desire for sex.

Now I am not blaming her. Ten years and 2kids will take its toll on anybody. But it wont hurt if she keeps herself healthy by losing some weight and buying a new dress and getting new perfume and not the same she has been spraying for 10yrs


She shouldn't naked herself and beg for sex, that is belittling herself and will probably make the man less sexually attracted to her. Men are naturally conquerors, they are in for the chase, family kind of comes after(will explain this more one day, maybe).

My advice:
She should repackage. Hit the gym or run around the house or whatever, exercise and lose weight.

Buy new clothes for herself. Not old mama clothes o, modern clothing, not ashawo cloth...you know what I mean.

Get new deodorant, new perfume, new make up kit, new lipstick.

Eat healthy.

Smile a lot around the house. Laugh a lot too if possible.(she should make sure she is laughing at something so oga won't think she don craze.)

Stop the begging. Stop giving oga unnecessary attention. Give him the usual attention e.g serving his food, etc.

Effects:
It will improve her self esteem. It will refresh her spirit. It will make her healthier.

It will make Oga notice her. He might feel she is having an affair or maybe a new outlook on life. Either way it will make oga to notice her. Oga needs to be the one doing the noticing. Soon he'll be the one making subtle advances towards her.

Another thing.

Married men are naturally proud creatures. Some are more proud than others. If he has asked her for sex and she has repeatedly refused, he may adapt and stop asking and it may become a habit on his part so much so that she is now the one always asking for sex.


But refusing the wife sex, condom wrappers in his person, lack or emotional or financial care...looks like he is cheating.

The husbands lack of care, affection and financial/ emotional support makes the matter worse.

Why is sex is the only issue being picked up here, i think the lady has a bigger problem than just sex......

Her problem should not even be sex alone,and the fact that she is begging a man who doesn't care emotionally and financially for sex is disgusting and pitiful!i think it's time for this woman to honour the man's wish and give him what he wants,that is if the situation has been going on for a long time.

She has two kids to live for.....

She should just do what her mind tells her.

edwife:


Why is sex is the only issue being picked up here, i think the lady has a bigger problem than just sex......

Her problem should not even be sex alone,and the fact that she is begging a man who doesn't care emotionally and financially for sex is disgusting and pitiful!i think it's time for this woman to honour the man's wish and give him what he wants,that is if the situation has been going on for a long time.

She has two kids to live for.....

Thank you!

eunisam:
is Prayer is the key the only phrase you can caption and capitalize on?

yes o

I don't know what she should do but pls stop begging already....

Reverse psychology might work if the guy is not closet gay,in love with another lady or just repulsed by her body...

Oghene!help your daughters oh...

The wife must have gotten to her wits end before coMing to you.

Let her do trial separation for about 6months where both of them can think about What they really want out of the marriage and discuss it afterwards.

The discussion would determine the next step of the marriage

radiantlola:
The husbands lack of care, affection and [size=15pt]financial[/size]/ emotional support makes the matter worse.

The bold is a cardinal sin to a Nigerian woman

It is well with the Op.
I dont like advicing wrongly when it comes to marriage so well it is well.

One thing I may just say is that the wife should probably make herself desirable if she is not giving attention to this and then she should hold herself in high esteem. Stay happy and all.

Use techniques such as giving him some free hand, not being concerned about sex, not staying unhappy around the house, go out a little etc.

5minsmadness:
@Radiantlola

Was this the case before they got married?
If not, what changed?
What qualities did she have that made him marry her?
What qualities did he have that made she agree to marry him?

Ten years and two kids is a long time and a long investment. A lot of changes, both physical and emotional, would have taken place.

Did this denial of sex start recently like 6months to a year ago? If yes, then its most likely he is having an affair.
If it has been longer than this then it is a habit thing. Maybe reduced libido om his part as wife's own increases with age. Maybe madam has gained weight in the wrong places. Men are very physical and if he finds she resembles the Michelin man more than the svelte beauty he married, he may no longer have the desire for sex.

Now I am not blaming her. Ten years and 2kids will take its toll on anybody. But it wont hurt if she keeps herself healthy by losing some weight and buying a new dress and getting new perfume and not the same she has been spraying for 10yrs


She shouldn't naked herself and beg for sex, that is belittling herself and will probably make the man less sexually attracted to her. Men are naturally conquerors, they are in for the chase, family kind of comes after(will explain this more one day, maybe).

My advice:
She should repackage. Hit the gym or run around the house or whatever, exercise and lose weight.

Buy new clothes for herself. Not old mama clothes o, modern clothing, not ashawo cloth...you know what I mean.

Get new deodorant, new perfume, new make up kit, new lipstick.

Eat healthy.

Smile a lot around the house. Laugh a lot too if possible.(she should make sure she is laughing at something so oga won't think she don craze.)

Stop the begging. Stop giving oga unnecessary attention. Give him the usual attention e.g serving his food, etc.

Effects:
It will improve her self esteem. It will refresh her spirit. It will make her healthier.

It will make Oga notice her. He might feel she is having an affair or maybe a new outlook on life. Either way it will make oga to notice her. Oga needs to be the one doing the noticing. Soon he'll be the one making subtle advances towards her.

If all of these takes place and nothing changes meeen na away match sure pass oo