A Guy was in love with a girl but
never
had the
guts to tell her. One night around
11pm he gathered some courage
& sent
her a text sayin..
"I love you, I wana date you. Plz
reply
&
tell me how u feel." A few seconds later
he
received a message alert on his
phone.
He was so scared &
tensed to open it that night so he decided
not to check & reply until the next
morning
when he's less tense.
When he woke up the next day
he prayed
seriously about the message for
good
news,did his morning
chores,brushed
his teeth,ate his breakfast, had his
bath,dressed up then climbed
into bed
&
picked his phone to read the
message. This was the response he read:
"Dear
customer
you
have insufficient balance to send
this message.Please recharge your
account
and try again"

STUDENT: Sir, can I ask a question?
TEACHER: Yes!
STUDENT: How to put an elephant
inside the fridge?
TEACHER: I dnt knw.
STUDENT: It's easy, you just open the fridge
nd put it in. I have another.
question!
TEACHER: Ok, ask.
STUDENT: How to put a donkey inside
the fridge?
TEACHER: It's easy, you just open the fridge
nd put it in.
STUDENT: No sir, you just open the
fridge take out the elephant nd put it
in.
TEACHER: Ooh...ok!!
STUDENT: If all the animals went to the
lion's birthday party, with one animal
missing which one would it be?
TEACHER: The lion of course because it
would eat all the animals.
STUDENT: No sir, the donkey because
it's still inside the fridge. TEACHER: Are you
kidding me?
STUDENT: No sir, one last question.
TEACHER: Ok!
STUDENT: If there's a river of crocodiles
nd you wanted to cross, how would
you? TEACHER: There's no way, I would need
a ladder to cross.
STUDENT: No sir, you just swim nd cross
it because all the animals went to the
lion's birthday party.... One word for this
student

HERE ARE SOME FUNNY IRONIES OF LIFE
1. A poor witchdoctor who
promises you wealth.
2. A Dentist with rotten
teeth and bad breath.
3. When a Company Driver's
children walk at
least 2km to
and fro school everyday.
4. The Principal's child
who have repeated class
more than any other
student.
5. The Professional Boxer
whose child gets bullied in
school.
6. A Vet Doctor that is
scared of dogs.
7. A book street Vendor selling
books on how
to become
a billionaire
8. A Farmer whose mother
died of starvation.
9. A Gym instructor with pot
belle.
10. A carpenter that uses
only plastic chairs at home
11. A Single and lonely On Air
Personality "DJ" talking
about
love matter and match making
over the radio.
12.A Mechanic without his
own vehicle
13.A doctor suffering from
flu and malaria
14. uncircumcised doctor doing
circumcision
15.Someone promoting gay
rights when he’s happily
married to the opposite sex.
16. iPhone supplier who has a
nokia 3310.
17.A manager at MTN who uses
AIRTEL
18. A private jet owner who walks to his bedroom.
19. A jamb runs man whose brother will write his
5th JAMB next year.
20. add urs.

more more more jokes...



I love this sha

A group of Catholic Priests were due to play a
group of Anglican Pastors in an important inter-
faith game.
A few days before the match, disaster struck.
The Catholic team's star player broke his ankle
and the doctor said he wouldn't be able to play
again for at least two months.
"What are we going to do? moaned Father
Matthew.
"Well," said Father Thomas, "it so happens that
Christiano Ronaldo is a good friend of mine.
We could ask him to play for us."
"But that wouldn't be fair" said Father Matthew.
"No, but if we called him Father Ronaldo, no one
need know," replied Father Thomas.
Eventually Father Matthew agreed to let this
devious plan go ahead but then, as luck would
have it,
he was suddenly called away on official Church
business and was unable to watch the match.
As soon as he could, he phoned Father Thomas
for the result.
"I'm afraid they beat us, 6-0," said Father
Thomas.
"But how could that happen?" queried Father
Matthew. "We had Father Ronaldo in our team."
"Yes," said Father Thomas, "but they had Pastor Fabregas, pastor
Rooney and Pastor Mmesi playing for them.".Even pastor De Gea was present.
.
.
Happy weekend pals.
.
.
.
#Emskaro_Da_Great A group of Catholic Priests were due to play a
group of Anglican Pastors in an important inter-
faith game.
A few days before the match, disaster struck.
The Catholic team's star player broke his ankle
and the doctor said he wouldn't be able to play
again for at least two months.
"What are we going to do? moaned Father
Matthew.
"Well," said Father Thomas, "it so happens that
Christiano Ronaldo is a good friend of mine.
We could ask him to play for us."
"But that wouldn't be fair" said Father Matthew.
"No, but if we called him Father Ronaldo, no one
need know," replied Father Thomas.
Eventually Father Matthew agreed to let this
devious plan go ahead but then, as luck would
have it,
he was suddenly called away on official Church
business and was unable to watch the match.
As soon as he could, he phoned Father Thomas
for the result.
"I'm afraid they beat us, 6-0," said Father
Thomas.
"But how could that happen?" queried Father
Matthew. "We had Father Ronaldo in our team."
"Yes," said Father Thomas, "but they had Pastor Fabregas, pastor
Rooney and Pastor Mmesi playing for them.".Even pastor De Gea was present.
.
.
Happy weekend pals.
.
.
.
#Emskaro_Da_Great A group of Catholic Priests were due to play a
group of Anglican Pastors in an important inter-
faith game.
A few days before the match, disaster struck.
The Catholic team's star player broke his ankle
and the doctor said he wouldn't be able to play
again for at least two months.
"What are we going to do? moaned Father
Matthew.
"Well," said Father Thomas, "it so happens that
Christiano Ronaldo is a good friend of mine.
We could ask him to play for us."
"But that wouldn't be fair" said Father Matthew.
"No, but if we called him Father Ronaldo, no one
need know," replied Father Thomas.
Eventually Father Matthew agreed to let this
devious plan go ahead but then, as luck would
have it,
he was suddenly called away on official Church
business and was unable to watch the match.
As soon as he could, he phoned Father Thomas
for the result.
"I'm afraid they beat us, 6-0," said Father
Thomas.
"But how could that happen?" queried Father
Matthew. "We had Father Ronaldo in our team."
"Yes," said Father Thomas, "but they had Pastor Fabregas, pastor
Rooney and Pastor Mmesi playing for them.".Even pastor De Gea was present.
.
.
Happy weekend pals.
.
.
.
#Emskaro_Da_Great