"....and we took a flight from there to New York. We were supposed to fly out to London that same day but my mum was too tired so we just stayed at the Astoria Waldorf till the following day..."

I stared at him mouth agape. This boy obviously thought he was talking to five year olds. How can someone say he flew to Germany on a private jet just to change his socks? Ahn ahn! Even Bill Gates doesn't do that. And he is/was the richest man in the world (these things just keep changing anyhow). Not only did Ahmed fly to Germany to change his socks, his parents had to import special tissue paper from Poland for wiping his nose when he had a cold. And last I checked, Poland wasn't popular for its extra soft tissue paper exports.

Here's the thing. Ahmed is a liar. A compulsive liar at that. The very first sentence he had spoken to me when we first met contained a lie - it turned out his name wasn't Harrison at all. In fact, he didn’t have a name that wasn't local. Yet he told me his name was Harrison David Jefferson. I was impressed and would have remained so if his mother, who had been talking with our housemaster hadn't called him Ahmed repeatedly and, when he pretended not to have heard, she slapped him across the back of the head.

And from since then, Ahmed had to have set some kind of record for lying. Most times needlessly. Once we had been discussing video game consoles we had. Seun had a Playstation X, I had an Xbox and Tola had a Playstation 3. Almost all through the conversation, Ahmed had been on the periphery, chipping in now and again about games he had played before (or more accurately, had read in the PC Gamer magazine Segun had brought to school). When conversation finally lulled, he decided it was time to make his grand entry.

"Has anyone played PES 2014 on Playstation 6?"

A stunned silence descended on our group. Playstation 6? What was this guy talking about?

"Game is mad. Been playing it since it was delivered to my house from the US. The graphics are almost real. All the players look like the real.."

"Wait, wait, wait." Tola cut in. "Did you say Playstation 6?"

"Yes." He responded, the confidence of a guy who has told a perfect lie on his face. "Haven't you played it before?"

Silence again. This was so not real.

"Errr, are you sure what you played isn't one of those made in China games that have like one billion games preloaded?" I was blown away.

"No. Playstation 6. From Sony"

"But Playstation 5 isn't out yet. And Playstation 4 was only just released."

"Well, my dad is friends with the chairman of Sony so he sent me the prototype of the PS6. They'll be releasing it in two years.

Of course, it occurred to me to ask why the man skipped sending him a prototype of the PS5 and went straight to six. And how, in spite of the fact that news of things like this leak all the time, there was not a mention of a Playstation 6 on the internet. And I’m a subscriber to gamerinsider.com.

I really should have called him out at that point but there are some lies you hear, you just feel too weak to argue with the liar. I let it slide (as did the others, as astonished and unbelieving as they were) and conversation continued. I had just mentioned that my favourite character on Mortal Kombat was Sektor when Ahmed declared that he also had a favorite character, and his name was Segment.

"Ahmed, there is no MK character named Segment." Tola said flatly.

"There is! I'm serious!" Ahmed squealed. "He is a new character on the latest MK".

"I have the latest MK." Tola returned. And I have used pretty much all the characters. We know the sector and segments are parts of a circle but Ahmed, fear God, there is no M.K character named Segment.”

“Oh, so I’m lying abi?” Ahmed shot back, sounding insincerely incensed. “Don’t worry, when we get home, come to my house. You’ll see it for yourself. You don’t have the latest M.K and you’re now claiming you know everything. Just wait till vacation.”

Of course, this was classic Ahmed. He would drop a lie big enough to sink an ocean liner then back it up with “wait till we get home”. Maybe because he knew that by the time we broke for vacation, most of us would have forgotten the argument and those that even bothered to remember wouldn't be bothered to check. That was until he said that that he had a virtual reality video game console and Seun vowed that he would make sure he verified this was true.

“That guy is a big fat liar.” Seun declared after the mid-term break. “His lies can raise the dead. The guy does not have any virtual reality console. When I got there, he said his mother seized it and locked it in her room. These are the kinds of lies that vex me. Abeg. The only game I saw in his house was Ludo. And the glass covering has broken sef and one die is missing.”

Were we surprised? Not really. Was he done? Not at all. As Seun rounded up his report, Ahmed turned up not looking at all like someone whose monumental lie had just been exposed.

“Guys, how far?”

We stared at him in silence.

“Ahn, ahn. This one you guys are looking at me like this. Am I safe?”

We kept staring at him in silence, till after ten seconds, Tola couldn’t take it anymore.

“Ahmed! Ah, you can lie for Africa!”

Lmao.

Atk01:
Lmao.

Thanks for reading!

niceeeee

Some people can really lie

It's like an addiction they can't stop

It reminds me of this movie "Alakada"

Senboka......the rest..


Nice one.

argh see lie. Senby at it again. Chai. Nice one

Ahh! Ahmed, you can lie for Africa sha....



More importantly, Ahmed will certainly rake in votes here in Nigeria becos it would seem the populace would rather be lied to than told the truth.

Some lies can make u question ur sanity! It will surprise u dat another human being can jst brew sumthng out of his system,just like dat!

Perfect reaction when u hear these things!

senbonzakurakageyoshi:

I stared at him mouth agape. This boy obviously thought he was talking to five year olds. How can someone say he flew to Germany on a private jet just to change his socks? Ahn ahn! Even Bill Gates doesn't do that. And he is/was the richest man in the world (these things just keep changing anyhow). Not only did Ahmed fly to Germany to change his socks, his parents had to import special tissue paper from Poland for wiping his nose when he had a cold. And last I checked, Poland wasn't popular for its extra soft tissue paper exports.

Senbon_zakura_no_kageyoshi, you are an effing genius !!

I find your pieces as entertaining as they are downright hilarious.

I hope to see more pieces from your poseidian pen !!!

Creatrixity:


Senbon_zakura_no_kageyoshi, you are an effing genius !!

I find your pieces as entertaining as they are downright hilarious.

I hope to see more pieces from your poseidian pen !!!

Haba... And you quoted the whole story to say this

Abeg oga edit pls... It's not cool..

Warlord3000:


Haba... And you quoted the whole story to say this

Abeg oga edit pls... It's not cool..

Edited ... Was in kind of a hurry when I posted. Sorry .