Fight Over The Family House. - Family - Nairaland
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| Fight Over The Family House. by kilimani: 8:07am On Feb 15, 2015 |
This is an issue between us (me and my siblings) and my dad. it is about our family house. My late mum is the one that bought the land the house was built on though my father did not contribute financially to building the house as my late mum built the house out of her personal sweat and the entire family was aware of that. My mother had my father's name as the owner of the property. My mum died in 2010 and my father re-married in 2012 to a woman who we got to know he had a relationship with while my mum was still alive because we have a 11 year old step-brother and this is one sore issue me and siblings have with our father. The relationship between us is frosty and the atmosphere at home is acidic as his wife is not helping matters. What is getting us infuriated now is that he threw out our eldest brother last tuesday from the house for confronting his wife. Our house is a 4 bedroom bungalow and a two-room boys quarter behind the main house where my eldest brother has been living since he finished his service last year and still searching for a job. On friday (6th), my father's wife broke my brother's door so that a male relative of hers who was visiting can stay there. She did not pre-inform my brother that a relative was coming over nor request the key from him. This angered my brother and he confronted her but as usual my dad took her side and even warned us that he would not hesitate to throw us out of his house. Though my mother's family have always counseled us not to give our father any excuse to have us out of the house but my big bro lost his cool. My brother is now squatting with some friends. There is no one we can meet to talk to my father, he is not in good terms with my mother's family and we are not in good terms with my father's siblings. We are havng this feeling that he would will the house to his wife and son. Since the property is in his name, do we have any chance if we contest it legally with him. Please l do need informed advice. |
| Re: Fight Over The Family House. by delugadou(m): 8:48am On Feb 15, 2015 |
How many kids did your mom have? I ask because this calls for war.......just hope u're telling the truth |
| Re: Fight Over The Family House. by kilimani: 10:05am On Feb 15, 2015 |
delugadou: We are 5 and the youngest is 16. |
| Re: Fight Over The Family House. by Nobody: 10:09am On Feb 15, 2015 |
Since your mother had your father's name as the owner of the property, it will be difficult if not impossible but you better consult a lawyer. |
| Re: Fight Over The Family House. by Nobody: 10:41am On Feb 15, 2015 |
Listen and listen good. D earlier u guys forget about d house,the better for u guys. If u can,move out to a one rm rental and work hard to make it in life. When u must have made it,u can now buy or build as many landed property as u want. U look forward and not backward in issues of life. Ur elder bro should have know d how things were at home and look for something to do. He shouldn't wait for whiet collar job. This also goes for all of u. Dirty ur hands today and smile tomorrow. Also,stay clear from ur step mum's affair. Ignore mode is d best cost u guys will never win d war. U gus should use ur brain and make ur late mum proud. It's situations like this that makes a man. 12 Likes |
| Re: Fight Over The Family House. by kilimani: 10:53am On Feb 15, 2015 |
moca: l really appreciate your words of wisdom. 1 Like |
| Re: Fight Over The Family House. by 2good(m): 11:39am On Feb 15, 2015 |
moca: Best advice ever. The biggest mistake widowers with children make is getting married to another woman. Leave the house alone and work to achieve your own in life. As long as the house is in the name of your father, there is nothing you can do about it. |
| Re: Fight Over The Family House. by Nobody: 12:34pm On Feb 15, 2015 |
forget the house bro!....the onus lies on the elder one's to make something out of their lives , so that they can support their siblings  |
| Re: Fight Over The Family House. by Joel3(m): 1:09pm On Feb 15, 2015 |
This one strong oh. The name of the property is in your fathers name and which means your mother will it to him. Now your father can will it to whoever he so wish. But I doubt your father will want to will it to the other woman children with his clear eyes. Except ofcourse the other woman is forcing him to do it or probably using charms. no father will want to do that. Its time you guys move out from that house. One of the reasons its advancing for women to buy property with the name of their children not their husband. And write will to hand over to the children if she and and husband is not available. Very important. Don't waste your time with any lawyer its a lost case. |
| Re: Fight Over The Family House. by delugadou(m): 1:19pm On Feb 15, 2015 |
I have to be honest with you. The only way to settle this issue is to bring out the monster in you. Your dad has been bewitched & only violence will restore his sanity. That boys quarters rightfully belongs to the 1st son until he becomes financially stable. You don't need anybody to come & negotiate with ur dad. Tell it to his face Any day daddy dies, its the 1st son's responsibility to foot the burial bills. That's tradition. If he disrespects the first son today, who will bury him when the time comes? Nobody Rally your siblings and bring back your eldest brother to take back his rightful place in the family. Do it now ! Your brother is not going to find it funny while squatting with people. A lot of insults, inconvenience & suffering is involved. To make matters worse, a dog made him leave his house. Its heartbreaking & can cause psychological trauma Make sure all ur siblings are of one mind & purpose. Don't hesitate to damage any one who tries to be an obstacle. Beat the hell out of anyone who comes to dictate your life for you. Break bones if need be. (I would have broken that woman's two hands that she used to break the door). If police arrests me, i'll come back in less than 48hrs because na family matter. Our pastor go bail me. When the bitch sees that u guys are out for blood, she & ur dad will bring people to beg. Then u will give them conditions for peace. The bible says we should obey our parents in the Lord. It also went ahead to warn our parents not to provoke us and discourage us. Read ephesians well This world no longer appreciates peaceful people. The violent are the ones who get their rights these days. Your dad must treat all of you equally without partiality. If he refuses, you take your rights by force! He must provide shelter, food, education & everything you guys need until u're able to fend for yourselves. Its not something that is negotiable. I will not beg for my right. Never If they don't want to serve you food, go to the pot and serve yourself. If she makes noise,you guys shout her down. Make her understand that you guys are ready for anything and will deal with her if need be. If they deny you school fees, then make sure her kids won't go to school too. Anything she gets is what you must get too. (you should know how to threaten someone) I cannot see my birthright given to a dog and fold my hands. I'll cook the dog for lunch. No matter what people tell you, your step mother doesn't wish u well. If not, she won't dishonour the firstborn of the family. If you leave that house now that you have not fully balanced as a man, you will know the definition of "suffering" NB: Your plan can only work if your siblings are with one purpose. Also pay serious attention to the kind of dreams you and ur siblings are having. I want to believe u're an adult. What I wrote is what I would do. I respect your opinion of who/what I am 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Fight Over The Family House. by oweniwe(m): 1:50pm On Feb 15, 2015 |
The IGNORE option is the best thing to do when it comes to step mother matters..... Ignore them..... Your dad and his wife, ignore them..... Since ur bro has finished uni.... Retirement dey come for daddy soon... just ignore them completely.... Later, na dem go come dey beg u make u come visit them.... 1 Like |
| Re: Fight Over The Family House. by kilimani: 1:53pm On Feb 15, 2015 |
It is just painful seeing people who contributed nothing to the building of the house behaving like God. My maternal uncles and aunts are insisting that we must maintain our presence in that house and l know where they are coming from but we are also thinking of finding our way because home is no longer conducive. |
| Re: Fight Over The Family House. by Wendy80(f): 2:14pm On Feb 15, 2015 |
Stepmother wahala. A woman who is ill-mannered and not accommodating shouldn't never think of marrying a man with children. She'll bring problem where des none. OP I think u shd go with Moca 's comment above. |
| Re: Fight Over The Family House. by orbis(m): 2:16pm On Feb 15, 2015 |
delugadou: Splendid advice.... 1 Like |
| Re: Fight Over The Family House. by 1miccza: 2:43pm On Feb 15, 2015 |
To be sincere OP ladies like that do have or possess ulterior motives and are often diabolical. My advice is for you and your siblings to leave that house and make a living for yourself |
| Re: Fight Over The Family House. by delugadou(m): 3:00pm On Feb 15, 2015 |
orbis:
|
| Re: Fight Over The Family House. by Smhart1(f): 3:18pm On Feb 15, 2015 |
leaving the house solve no issue just like staying. work and pray to God to ease your pain |
| Re: Fight Over The Family House. by JustCurious: 3:25pm On Feb 15, 2015 |
delugadou: Applying violence doesn't work in most cases! Let's hope the step-mother isn't diabolical, else, she might make a spiritual journey to 'clearing' any oppositor off her path. The world is an evil place. It's not worth losing your life because of any earthly property. I tell you, wisdom is profitable in all things. As Moca rightly suggested, OP and her siblings should forget about the property for now. Yes, this might be painful, but, it's a better alternative. And, while you are out there, doing your things, never forget the place of fasting/prayer to possessing your rightful possession and restoring your father's sanity. . Prayer changes things. Best wishes. 1 Like |
| Re: Fight Over The Family House. by veave(f): 5:47pm On Feb 15, 2015 |
Try as much as you can to leave the house. Take all your siblings with you. You can start by selling anything. Anything at all... Bros, second wife matter no be here oh. Someone that has been waiting patiently for your mother to die since so that she can come in. She don plan una well keep no be today. Find way oh... 1 Like |
| Re: Fight Over The Family House. by Meringe(m): 8:20pm On Feb 15, 2015 |
I don't know your tribe, if you are igbo, forget the woman, she no get any level. As the first son, you have a right like a demigod even in the mist of many wives. In this case I will use an adage in igbo which says "if a child didn't grow up of age before asking what killed his father, then, what killed the father will kill him" your dad has a son with this woman and you can't actually know what killed your mom, so, you THREAD very carefully. It's a two thing, either your bro gets mad with everything or he use wisdom on your dad. But the later always get rewarding cos he will be spur to work hard and be tge toast of your dad n his wife. If he chooses the first, it's either death or life which he should be ready to do to save his other siblings. Igbo adage also has it that they fearful man keeps the life of the fearless man. If I'm to advise, I will choose the later, which will make your step mom to wonder what he's up to. My cousin has this issue with his father and step mom, the woman useless him until he turns to a pastor in The Lord Chosen Church. Are you ready to fight this battle? Your brother should go out and hustle, he's now faced with challenges that will shape his life. I chose to make it in life after dad insulted my elder brother that he got married at his age, I had to hustle cos I will not allow that insult. What ever he chooses to do, he should weigh the options. As for the property, will can be rewritten. Igbo adage has it that , a dead wrote a will, the living rewrite it. A will can be contested and won. 1 Like |
| Re: Fight Over The Family House. by Nobody: 9:00pm On Feb 15, 2015 |
Nigerians and entitlement. The house belongs to your father. Whether it was built by your late mum or not. it doesn't matter. Its his house now and he decides who gets it. You and your siblings should start hustling for you and your future family. You are under his roof, you should play by his rule or move to your own apartment. Kpele, I hope this challenge gives you something positive . 1 Like |
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