Sex Related Issues. - Family - Nairaland
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| Sex Related Issues. by Gmail: 2:46am On Mar 03, 2015 |
Mods I beg of you not to move this topic to another section, this is the only place I can get mature replies to a problem weighing me down. Dear nairalanders, I have a sex problem.90% of the time i dnt feel anything during sex.I started sex in my late 20s and prior to this I used to mastubate. Actually this year makes it the 18th year of this act.I have tried to stop it but no way.its like my body is now used to this and when I started sex there was no feelings. I have lost about 4 guys that walked away because of this and the pain was unbearable. its like my mind will just freeze during the act which makes me not to feel any/much sensation.I have enjoyed sex with just one guy and climaxed just once in my life with another(but through genital stimulation). Has anyone ever been in my position, how did you overcome it. Pls help me cos I'm a wreck right now and I'm afraid to enter another relationship because I don't want to get dumped again. |
| Re: Sex Related Issues. by ellapius(f): 5:42am On Mar 03, 2015 |
its ok dear one tin I would want to no is do u climax wen u mesturbate ? if u do then all u need is just teach ur next partner how to touch u or u can take out time to study ur sexuality a little touch here and there could show u the magic spot maybe u enjoy pre-intimacy more b4 penetration. u really need to find out these tins first. ok I remember u saying u climax wit on guy can u recall some of the tins he did to u during the s.ex 1 Like |
| Re: Sex Related Issues. by Gmail: 9:33am On Mar 03, 2015 |
Thank you so much ellapius.yes I have climaxed before and I usually climax with self-service. It used to be good but the feeling is now so flat.I will teach my boyfriend on how to touch me to make me feel again.but I also feel my mind has been conditioned to just one way and if its not done that way then nothing. I also want to uncondition my mind but don't know how. Pls I need more advice.73 views and just one reply, help a sister out of her pains |
| Re: Sex Related Issues. by mutter(f): 10:32am On Mar 03, 2015 |
You are even luckier than most women. The hidden truth is that many women do not even climax at all during S--. Many pretend to but actually don`t. Many women that climax do not do so from penetration but from touch. So all you need is to be properly stimulated before the act. Also S-- is very much a thing of he mind and not just the body. Nothing wrong with your body it is your mind. You need to be familiar with your partner and very comfortable with him. It might surprise you that the man you climaxed with could even have been someone you did not find appealing or even disgusted you. It really is strange what sometimes arouses a man or the woman and it can be anything from decent to indecent. That is why you need to get your mind under control and then the body will move along with it. 4 Likes |
| Re: Sex Related Issues. by Nobody: 4:22pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
Perhaps you should check if you secretly feel its wrong to sleep with a man you are not married to amongst other reasons you may feel its wrong to be having sex. Search your mind why you go numb during sex could also be you don't even like the men you slept with so you were unable to open up yourself and you just felt you had to do it to keep a relationship anyway search yourself. 3 Likes |
| Re: Sex Related Issues. by KanwuliaJara: 4:42pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
Hmmmm *picking my teeth* |
| Re: Sex Related Issues. by emilyone(f): 9:26pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
Were you circumcised? |
| Re: Sex Related Issues. by coogar: 9:53pm On Mar 03, 2015 |
Gmail:  1 Like |
| Re: Sex Related Issues. by Gmail: 2:53am On Mar 04, 2015 |
andromida: Yes I feel its wrong and I feel very guilty about it for days,mayb this is why. emilyone: No not at all.my mother was and she she suffered for it in her marriage and decided not to make us go through the same. 1 Like |
| Re: Sex Related Issues. by ratatis(m): 10:47pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
Behind every persistent feeling of guilt is an accompanying thought that fuels it. In your case, the underlying thought is the belief that it's bad for you to have sex before marriage. And also, probably, your personality is such that you hate being coerced into doing something that you don't want. However, for the sake of getting things going or fear of losing the man, you gave in. Halfway inside the act, you tend to despise how you've been coerced into submitting yourself to such a thing. Tension then sets in. Another factor that is likely to come into play is your engrams, albeit at subconscious level. Anytime you are having penetration sex, you'll start thinking & feeling the negative experiences you've had in the past, the number of guys you've lost as a result & the possibility of it happening again. This will generate tension within you & prevent you from relaxing & enjoying it as a play. When you take it too serious, it's no longer a play. You'll be trying hard to influence it with your will. And " in the contest between the will & the imagination, it is invariably the imagination that wins", according to the Law of Reversed Effort, in Psychology. Personally, I see no reason why you should limit your sexual gratification to only penetration sex & masturb*tion when there're other ways you could ease your sexual tensions & achieve intense org*sm.  3 Likes |
| Re: Sex Related Issues. by ratatis(m): 11:53pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
In a situation like this, where an issue arose as a result of interaction between a male & a female, the solution. must be sought by looking into it both from the perspective of a male & that of a female. It appears that you have conditioned yourself into believing that you lost those 4 guys due to your inability to have org*sm during penetration sex; that for a relationship to thrive, the woman must achieve org*sm during penetration sex. Evidently, that's as far as you can see from your end. There may be other factors which can only be seen from the perspective of the men who related with you. I'm strongly of the opinion that your inability to achieve org*sm alone, is not enough reason to account for losing a man repeatedly. Perhaps you were relating with the wrong type of men for you. One obvious limitation which females face in our society is the fact that it's not the usual practice for them to approach a guy & seek to befriend him. Few guys are matured enough to accord a lady who takes the initiative to approach them for friendship, the full respect & positive reception she deserves. Unlike we men, a woman is left with the only option of choosing from among the limited number of men who show interest in her. If she cannot find one who appears to be compatible, & time starts running out, she's accused of being too selective. Eventually she's forced to settle down with one of them........................ (you know the rest of the story!). |
| Re: Sex Related Issues. by ratatis(m): 5:56am On Mar 17, 2015 |
mutter: @OP, I'm especially drawing your attention to the above comment, by way of emphasis. |
| Re: Sex Related Issues. by 1miccza: 6:32am On Mar 17, 2015 |
KanwuliaJara: Kai!!!!stop that the Op needs help here!!! |
| Re: Sex Related Issues. by adebayour26: 5:05pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
Are you still into self servicing? if YES, then the first thing is for you to get a means of STOPPING it. Self-servicing affects the psychological state of a person, it affects your view on sex.... Also, you have to work on your mind. If you can get a Psychologist or Sex & marraige Counsellor, then, it's a goid idea. Open up to him/her (preferably HER) 1 Like |
| Re: Sex Related Issues. by baralatie(m): 8:58pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
1miccza:if kanwulia should answer ehn! op! condition go run leave am! |
| Re: Sex Related Issues. by 1miccza: 11:04pm On Mar 17, 2015 |
baralatie: Hahahahahahaha you sef understand |
| Re: Sex Related Issues. by Krppkyy: 11:35am On Jun 18, 2021 |
Sex is overrated. Refocus your energies elsewhere |
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