I read this Article on www.askmen.com…on Marriage Advice (thought I should share)

The After-Effects Of Marriage

Dear Curt,

My wife and I lived together for ten years before deciding to get married. We've been married for five years now but I'm starting to wonder if getting married was the right decision. You see, my wife used to weigh 110 lbs, but since we've been married she has put on an extra 15 lbs each year and now weighs over 175lbs. In case you're wondering; no, we still haven't had children.

Of course this is the least of my problems. It seems that since we've been married, MouthAction is a thing of the past — extinct. The sex between us is just as bad. At most, we have it twice a month and I'm embarrassed to say that it is always in the missionary position because I cannot tolerate her weight on top of me. Tell me why in the world do women change after marriage vows? Had I known this was going to happen, I would have remained content with just living together for the rest of our lives.

- Stephen, Vermont

it's time to meet your wife

I receive many letters from readers, but Stephen's letter deals with a problem common among spouses. Unfortunately, there was no one there to tell Stephen, or others in his situation, that the wedding is when men meet their real wives for the first time.

Let me put it another way: the "chick" you met at the local bookstore becomes a completely different person when she is your girlfriend, the girlfriend becomes a completely different person when she is your fianc, and the fianc becomes the complete opposite once she is your wife. Still don't understand? Ludwig Borne put it best when he said, "A sweetheart is milk, a bride is butter and a wife is cheese."

Now before everyone sends hate mail and death threats, let me add that my theory applies to both genders. To a woman a boyfriend is like wine, a groom is like cocktails and a husband is like flat beer.

A wedding transforms both men and women. For whatever reason, spouses begin to take each other for granted. It is probably because they know that they'll be together until death do us part. Maybe someone should change the vows to until death do us part or until you gain fifty pounds — whichever comes first. This may sound a little harsh, but it would probably keep the vow exchangers on their toes.

show by example

Within a relationship, both men and women should have a say in what the other person looks like physically. After all, attraction is the key to a healthy relationship. Now I'm not saying that attraction is the only essential element in a relationship, but it does help; and anyone that argues this point is deluding themselves. After all, the definition of love, philosophically speaking, is attraction preceeded by admiration.

Why shouldn't one have a say if their wife or husband puts on too much weight from sitting on the couch and eating nachos all day? When you buy a car, a BMW for instance, you expect it to remain a BMW. The car won't become a GoodYear blimp with time, it will inevitably get old but will always remain a BMW. So if a woman or man no longer looks like they used to, don't be afraid to communicate that they should get back into shape. As with all things though, subtlety is your best ally.

Of course if you've packed on a few pounds, you have absolutely no right to ask your partner to lose weight. The only way you can make such a request is if you are keeping yourself in shape.

Upon making the request, don't be blunt. Instead of saying I want you to lose weight flat out, try something like, It's important that we stay in shape in order to remain healthy, so why don't we start exercising together? After the request is made, follow through. Practice what you preach, join the local gym, go cycling, jogging, or if you are really out of shape, start slowly with morning walks and don't forget to cut down on those nachos. The important thing is that you do the exercises together. Essentially the relationship will become stronger, if not for the physical part then definitely for the time spent together.

fellati-no

Most married men agree that MouthAction becomes less frequent after marriage. But there is no great mystery regarding what happens to MouthAction after marriage. It stops.
MouthAction (MouthAction specifically) is part of the cost-of-acquisition that all women voluntarily subject themselves to. Once their objective is accomplished (marriage), women seem to forget how much men appreciate MouthAction.
If women doubt that the above-mentioned theory is true, that MouthAction decreases over time the longer couples are married, then in the words of J.D. Smith, tell her to "prove it".

sex.ual doom

By the time couples marry, chances are that they've already had the best sex of their lives. This is not to say that couples can't have great sex again, but they'll be setting themselves up for disappointment if they think that the sex gets better without a committed effort.
The theory of diminishing returns states that as consumption of the same product increases, the gratification — or in this case, sexual fulfillment — will not be as rewarding as in previous experiences. The same theory applies to sexual partners; as couples continue to have sex, the enjoyment level slowly starts to decrease.

Married sex can still be excellent, but it will never be as good the premarital sex. J.D. Smith, the author of Life Sentence (a fantastic book that I highly recommend to all single, married and divorced men), puts it best; "Married sex is like having a lifetime subscription to Play.boy — except that you get the same centerfold every month and pretty soon she's not 22 any more. By the time your subscription runs out, she looks like the Hot grandmother in the Play.boy cartoons, with her [breasts] half way down her hips like two socks full of nickels.

By then, you'll want to have sex exclusively with no one [anyone] else but her."
believe As most men can see, sex will never be as good as it was in the beginning of the relationship, but there is hope. If men don't want sexual doom, they have to take precautionary steps such as:

• Don't fall into a sexual routine. Have sex everywhere, not just at home.
• In the morning, spend a long time on pre-intimacy without having sex, get really close to each other without kissing. This way, couples will think of each other all day, and fireworks will go off at night. The key is to tease each other and remain spontaneous.
• Don't take each other for granted and always have sex with each other as though it might be the last time. Most people ruin sex by not taking time to appreciate their partner's senses.

okwu di ya...thinking of the club, garage, garden, farm etc

hmmmn