SILLY QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

Sees your picture and ask "Na you be this?" Answer: Na my papa wen him small be that
Sees you after a long time and ask "Na your face be this?" Answer: No na my hip
Sees a Police station and asks "Na police station be this?" Answer:No na primary school you no see their uniform.
Give me your number you call 0803356......... "Na MTN you dey use?" Answer:No Na NEPA.
Tour friend sees you on your wedding day and ask "Na your wife be this?" Answer:No na my mama classmate
A guy call you at 2am and ask"You dey sleep?" Answer: No I dey pound yam
Add yours

http://www.naijafunnyvideos.com/post/silly-questions-and-answers/
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WOMEN MEN COMPARISON


WOMEN:

- Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving. They are smart, knowing that knowledge is power. But they still know how to use their softer side to make a point.
- Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and themselves.
- Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
- A woman can make a romantic evening unforgettable.
- Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They live in homes, apartments and cabins. They drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.
- The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! Women do more than just give birth. They bring joy and hope. They give compassion and ideals.
- They give moral support to their family and friends. And all they want back is a hug, a smile and for you to do the same to people you come in contact with.

MEN:

- Men are good at lifting heavy stuff and sometimes killing spiders.
TRue or False?

http://www.naijafunnyvideos.com/post/women-men-comparison/
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I'M JUST KIDDING

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

http://www.naijafunnyvideos.com/post/im-just-kidding/
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THE MISSED FLIGHT


A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Abuja.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5.00 am."
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said... "It is 5.00am; wake up."

http://www.naijafunnyvideos.com/post/the-missed-flight/
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FACT OR FICTION


A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
A snail can sleep for three years
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, dogs only have about ten.
Cat's urine glows under a black light.
China has more English speakers than the United States.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
I am. is the shortest complete sentence in the English language
If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human's neck.
If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white.
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
No word in the English language rhymes with month.
Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the '30s lobbied against hemp farmers, they saw it as competition.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
Shakespeare invented the word "assassination" and "bump."
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
The average human eats eight spiders in their lifetime at night.
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
The sentence, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language.
The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
The word racecar and kayak are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
You are more likely to be killed by a Champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.
You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
You share your birthday with at least nine million other people in the world.

http://www.naijafunnyvideos.com/post/fact-or-fiction/
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HE GOT ANGRY


I was employed as an English teacher in a junior secondary school. I gave the students in Jss 1 class homework saying, "Write a story that ends with, ''And so, he got angry''." I didn't specify the amount of words to be written.

A little girl didn't even go home to write hers, but used only 3 minutes to write it in class after I left.

The next day, all the students submitted their work. I marked till the last one which was the little girl's. I was smiling while marking because, all the students did well. Some were able to write about 400 words and over.

I opened the girl's and it read, ''Our teacher gave us homework, but I didn't want to do it, I wrote only two lines, and so, he got angry''.

http://www.naijafunnyvideos.com/post/he-got-angry/
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GREAT ADVICE TO PASS ON TO YOUR DAUGHTERS


Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.
If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
Sadly, all men are created equal...

http://www.naijafunnyvideos.com/post/great-advice-to-pass-on-to-your-daughters/
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HOLD THE LAMP


A young father-to-be awakened the village Doctor in the middle of the night saying "Doctor! Doctor! Come fast now! my wife! Her water is broken! She is about born a child !"
The Doctor came over and told the father "Hold the lamp higher! Hold the lamp higher now!"

The father-to-be, obliged, and behold, a baby's cry was soon heard.

The father cried out: "Praise the Lord! A boy! I am the proud father of A baby boy !"
The Doctor again told the father, "Hold the lamp higher! Hold the lamp higher now man!"
The father again complied, and to be sure, another cry was heard. The father excitedly proclaimed: "Is twins!! I got twins! I am doubly blessed! Glory be to God!"

The Doctor instructed, "Hold the lamp higher! Hold the lamp higher now!" Sure enough, a third cry was heard!
The father, somewhat subdued, in a nervous tone, muttered, "Oh. Thank you Jesus."
The Doctor repeated, "Hold the lamp higher!. Hold the lamp higher now man!", in a short while yet a 4th cry was heard.

The father said nothing, being lost in deep thought.
The Doctor for the fifth time commanded "Hold the lamp higher man! Hold the lamp higher now!"
The father then asked "Doctor, I think we should off the light now .Don't you think maybe it's the light is that attracting them?."

http://www.naijafunnyvideos.com/post/hold-the-lamp/
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Did you know?

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
Have a laughter filled evening and enjoy the rest of your day and week.

Courtesy Nigeria/Naija Funny Videos

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