Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,152,993 members, 7,817,924 topics. Date: Saturday, 04 May 2024 at 11:05 PM

Rules For Flight - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Rules For Flight (827 Views)

Six Golden Rules For F***ing! Only For Mature Minds! / 25 Hilarious Rules For Driving In Lagos (Rules of Engagement) / Rules For Men In Relationships (2) (3) (4)

(1) (Reply) (Go Down)

Rules For Flight by Migines(m): 1:45pm On Jan 17, 2009
Rules For Flight

There is a lot pilots have to take into account when hulling your ass across the sky,

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.

12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.

15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger
compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.

20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.

24. The four most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, gas back at the airport, and a tenth of a second ago.

25. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however, no old, bold pilots.
Re: Rules For Flight by sholabanke(m): 2:35pm On Jan 17, 2009
hav u been a pilot in ur life before?
Re: Rules For Flight by Migines(m): 2:38pm On Jan 17, 2009
yeah. . . . .i've been a pilot all my life. i turned 13 yesterday. . . . . . now your point is. . . ?
Re: Rules For Flight by sholabanke(m): 2:41pm On Jan 17, 2009
my point is mayb u write all this from ur experience
Re: Rules For Flight by Migines(m): 2:45pm On Jan 17, 2009
okay then. . . no. . .never been a pilot. I'm an architecture undergradute. u gud?
Re: Rules For Flight by sholabanke(m): 2:46pm On Jan 17, 2009
yea
am also a graduate of an Architect too
so how are you coping wit the course and which school are u ?
Re: Rules For Flight by Migines(m): 2:51pm On Jan 17, 2009
. . . LAG. . . hummmmm. , .this is not a chatroom so . . . . lipsrsealed
Re: Rules For Flight by sholabanke(m): 2:56pm On Jan 17, 2009
ok

(1) (Reply)

"i'm On The Wrong Bus / If It Were U / A Dying Igbo Man

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 17
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.