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Post Your Favourite Jokes For "Nairaland Members to" Read - Jokes Etc (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Post Your Favourite Jokes For "Nairaland Members to" Read by Ben13: 9:30am On Jan 20, 2009
Competition is bubblegum in Nairaland undecided
Re: Post Your Favourite Jokes For "Nairaland Members to" Read by Airforce1(m): 9:52am On Jan 20, 2009
Re: Post Your Favourite Jokes For "Nairaland Members to" Read by studio43(m): 9:55am On Jan 20, 2009
Wudup force 1
Re: Post Your Favourite Jokes For "Nairaland Members to" Read by tytylayor: 10:53am On Jan 20, 2009
yeye studio turn airforce 1 angry
Re: Post Your Favourite Jokes For "Nairaland Members to" Read by Gabry(f): 10:54am On Jan 20, 2009
Yes ooo. Oh well. Nothing do him sad
Re: Post Your Favourite Jokes For "Nairaland Members to" Read by Ben13: 11:00am On Jan 20, 2009
confused
Re: Post Your Favourite Jokes For "Nairaland Members to" Read by neowelsh(m): 1:56pm On Jan 20, 2009
Y are u always confused. tongue
Re: Post Your Favourite Jokes For "Nairaland Members to" Read by Ben13: 2:00pm On Jan 20, 2009
Your future is based on what you are doing today. . .
Re: Post Your Favourite Jokes For "Nairaland Members to" Read by tytylayor: 2:14pm On Jan 20, 2009
so if u r confused today, ur future will be in confusion lipsrsealed
Re: Post Your Favourite Jokes For "Nairaland Members to" Read by Epi: 12:24am On Jan 21, 2009
THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD ,

Well, it's shit , that's right, shit!

Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit.

Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.

There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.

You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.
And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!
You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don't give a shit!
Well, Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit. But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head,

Well, Shit Happens!!!
Re: Post Your Favourite Jokes For "Nairaland Members to" Read by SeanT21(f): 3:49am On Jan 21, 2009
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
Re: Post Your Favourite Jokes For "Nairaland Members to" Read by dani1luv: 12:19pm On Jan 21, 2009
Nice Jokes grin
Re: Post Your Favourite Jokes For "Nairaland Members to" Read by yysl: 3:30pm On Jan 21, 2009
cool shocked
Re: Post Your Favourite Jokes For "Nairaland Members to" Read by romsky: 5:37pm On Jan 21, 2009
1 gud turn deserves another
Re: Post Your Favourite Jokes For "Nairaland Members to" Read by dani1luv: 6:46pm On Jan 21, 2009
;d
Re: Post Your Favourite Jokes For "Nairaland Members to" Read by sylve11: 7:12pm On Jan 21, 2009
so u no fit laugh again, abi?
Re: Post Your Favourite Jokes For "Nairaland Members to" Read by Gigihealth: 9:15pm On Aug 12, 2016
Tennis elbow treatment involves the use of over-the-counter pain drugs. Self-care measures can also be applied. Tennis elbow usually gets better on its own. Click on the link below to read more.
http://www.gigihealth.com/tennis-elbow-treatment-tennis-elbow/

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