Here's a survival guide in case you find yourself being carted to the Lagoon for whatever reason.

Brief overview of a common Lagoon around you

Physical Characteristics

The lagoon is more than 50 km long and 3 to 13 km wide, separated from the Atlantic Ocean by a long sand spit 2 to 5 km wide, which has swampy margins on the lagoon side. Its surface area is approximately 6,354.7 km².[1] The lagoon is fairly shallow and is not plied by ocean-going ships, but by smaller barges and boats.

The lagoon receives the discharge of the Ogun River and the Osun River.

Geography

Lagos Lagoon empties into the Atlantic via Lagos Harbour, a main channel through the heart of the city, 0.5 km to 1 km wide and 10 km long. The principal ocean port of Lagos is located at Apapa in a broad western branch off the main channel of the harbour.

Another branch off the main channel, narrower and longer, separates Lagos Island from Victoria Island, the broad sand spit which forms the coastline.

The city spreads along more than 30 km of the lagoon's south-western and western shoreline. Pollution by urban and industrial waste is a major problem as a large amount of wastewater is released into the lagoon daily. The 11-km-long Third Mainland Bridge was built off the western shore to by-pass congested mainland suburbs.

To its north-east the lagoon is connected by a channel passing south of the town of Epe to the Lekki Lagoon. Narrow winding channels connect the system through a broad band of coastal swamps and rivers, as far away as Sapele, 250 km to the east.

You should have your fishin’ pole with a lot of worm bait. Sounds great, but you'll have lots of yorubas on the shores trying to get at you. Just that now, they won’t be after your votes, they’ll be after the keys to your shops at Alaba and Ladipo and will want to hunt your rough ass for sport.

Floating by on your raft sounds like you’ll be safe, but you’ll be a sitting duck. They’ll take aim at you trapped on your raft and once you're dead they’ll take your fishing pole and your fair maids .

Now, this lagoon does appear to be very large so if you think you can stay away from crazies you can try it out. It sounds like that Lagos lagoon can support you for a while. Shrimp, fish, turtles and crab sounds pretty good to the rest of us who will be licking soup can labels.

The weather will be habitable too, though a damp, hot environment will invite disease, so stay clean and tend to wounds quickly.

You have one big problem though. You have nothing to drink. No matter how much food you have, your body needs freshwater to digest food properly. If you’re dehydrated don’t eat. Furthermore, do not drink seawater. Do not drink urine. Do not drink alcohol. Do not smoke. DO, however, learn how to desalinate your drinking water. And don't argue.

Water purification pumps will not work with saline water, so you’ll need to remove the salt from the water through distillation. I hope you guys understand this technology.

First, your raft will need to have a hearth of some kind to light a fire.
Once you have a small fire going, get a metal pot and put a glass cup inside it in the center.
Slowly pour some salt water into the pot until the water reaches halfway up the outside of the cup.
Place the cover to the pot upside down over the pot so the highest point is pointing down over your glass.
Once the water reaches a slow boil. The water vapor will rise up to the cover and collect as water droplets.
Because of the cone shape of the pot cover, the water will travel down into your cup. If the cover is cool, the condensation will be more effective.

Finally, look out for people who may be selling life jackets and swimming lessons, these are invaluable too
It’s a pain in the ass, but you’re the one who wanted to live in a lagoon.

...This isn't funny at all. Ethnic bigots everywhere!

OP thank you for this infomation as we prepare for a swimming party in the lagoon.

nothing will happen on satursday...God is in control...

is this supposed to be funny too dry abeg

It is appalling that drivel such as this is allowed to dwell on Nairaland. What are the moderators and Seun doing? Are you guys asleep?
This is a racist and culturally insensitive post. If you have ever bothered to find out what caused the 2nd world war, you will discover such statements that led to a post like this as the root cause. There were even cartoons of Jews with "big noses" and depicted as monsters, just to incite the German populace. In due time you will reap the harvest from your hate.

Lol. Nigerians are never serious

Make I begin order Scuba gear from China.

E be like say na this business go begin reign now.

Ishilove:
Lol. Nigerians are never serious

Better hurry and get space before its exhausted. I have already booked mine, ready to sell life jackets.

We are ready to swim in the lagoon and we shall survive

shizzleStar:


Better hurry and get space before its exhausted. I have already booked mine, ready to sell life jackets.

We are ready to swim in the lagoon and we shall survive

I hear basketmouth is giving discount for life jackets

MrPresident1:
Make I begin order Scuba gear from China.

E be like say na this business go begin reign now.

Lmao!

BushidoBlue:
It is appalling that drivel such as this is allowed to dwell on Nairaland. What are the moderators and Seun doing? Are you guys asleep?
This is a racist and culturally insensitive post. If you have ever bothered to find out what caused the 2nd world war, you will discover such statements that led to a post like this as the root cause. There were even cartoons of Jews with "big noses" and depicted as monsters, just to incite the German populace. In due time you will reap the harvest from your hate.

CALM DOWN and have fun.. I'm not a racist I'm just.... a little racist

Just kidding sha.. Make una no worry, we south-south boys go dey with una there, teach una survivalist skills, maybe even dredge the Lagoon and with time start handling large vessels, I know you guys love to import stuff.. Una go even get polling units sef

So my friend don't talk about Wars, talk about peaceful things like drowning in your sleep

Ishilove:

Lmao!

Abi naw. Person must sharp for this country.

There is opportunity in every importunity

Ishilove:

I hear basketmouth is giving discount for life jackets

Really? thats interesting

Do you have PVC? Please make it a date with your polling booth and vote Jimi, i want to have a victory bath with you at the lagoon on sunday

You try sha

Ishilove:

I hear basketmouth is giving discount for life jackets

To only Igbos o, that guy no try at all... What of people wey no be Igbo?

shizzleStar:
Really? thats interesting

Do you have PVC? Please make it a date with your polling booth and vote Jimi, i want to have a victory bath with you at the lagoon on sunday

I don't have a PVC because i am apolitical, so y'all should go ahead and vote. If we find ourselves swimming in the lagoon come sunday, not to worry, i have the latest scuba diving gear from Japan.

Ishilove:

I don't have a PVC because i am apolitical, so y'all should go ahead and vote. If we find ourselves swimming in the lagoon come sunday, not to worry, i have the latest scuba diving gear from Japan.

lol @apolitical, ok'o! ahaf hearing you

Hopefully by His grace, we will party together at the lagoon on Sunday

Life jackets should be moving markets now

shizzleStar:
lol @apolitical, ok'o! ahaf hearing you

Hopefully by His grace, we will party together at the lagoon on Sunday

I'm bringing along underwater camera. Instagram tinz

And Our igbo brothers might even be selling water to the fish and mermaid

Ishilove:

I'm bringing along underwater camera. Instagram tinz

women and pinshure

Nothing do you babe, we will send copies to the oba-werey to let him know that, in obj's voice: we 'dey kamkpe'

shizzleStar:
women and pinshure

Nothing do you babe, we will send copies to the oba-werey to let him know that, in obj's voice: we 'dey kamkpe'

SELENAqueensy:
And Our igbo brothers might even be selling water to the fish and mermaid

Trust.

jimi I know...lagoon, Igbo people are ready for u.

SELENAqueensy:
And Our igbo brothers might even be selling water to the fish and mermaid

i like your picture.. maybe we can work on a project soon

rexbuton:

i like your picture.. maybe we can work on a project soon

What kinda project if I may ask?

SELENAqueensy:


What kinda project if I may ask?

project involving two consenting adults.. just kidding

but I like you sha.. you pretty

rexbuton:

project involving two consenting adults.. just kidding

but I like you sha.. you pretty

Thanks

SELENAqueensy:


Thanks

ýou're always welcome