Burdens - Literature - Nairaland
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| Burdens by Nobody: 7:37pm On Apr 30, 2015 |
All right reserved No part of this production should be reproduced in any form without the author's consent Plagiarist beware |
| Re: Burdens by Queening(f): 8:33pm On Apr 30, 2015 |
,a 1 Like |
| Re: Burdens by Nobody: 6:59pm On May 04, 2015 |
Prologue The car felt comfortably warm. Jane sat peacefully as she drove off,Celine Dion's latest music was blasting loudly from the speaker,while she mimed to it. Jane was weak,she needed her rest,she has been helping her co-staff since morning to organise her baby naming ceremony. The ceremony was still ongoing the time she left. Somewhere along the road,not long after Jane yawned,she fell asleep. The vibration of the tires as they hit the metal illuminators separating the lanes woke Jane from her sleep. But all she saw was the blackness of a trailer ahead,coming towards her and her car was heading straight into it. Jane took her foot off the accelerator and jerked the wheel as hard as he could to turn the car back onto the roadway. The car was spinning,turning round and round. When her car finally stopped spinning,everything went normal,the car pointing in the right direction. She parked her car and came out hurriedly when she saw her mother-in-law sitting angrily outside her gate. Jane was wearing the popular 'oleku' dress,she complimented her dressing with heels,she was adorned greatly with jewelries from her neck to her hand.Her 'gele' was done in a fashionable manner. "E kabo ma.......Welcome ma" She said as she knelt down properly to greet her mother-in-law as tradition demanded. Her mother-in-law eyed her angrily and hissed. "Uhmm,I'm sorry I kept you waiting,I wasn't aware you're visiting today" Jane continued "Where are you coming from  " Her mother-in-law asked with a serious,harsh voice"I went for a friend's naming ceremony,it's Ibironke,you might know her" "Of course,I remember her,you two were married the same month right" "Yes,ma," "This is her second child right??" "Beeni ma......yes ma" "Can you imagine?? You were married the same month fah,o ti bi omo elekeji......she's carrying her second child,and you dressed extravagantly to celebrate with her,when will you give birth to yours,so that people will come around and celebrate with you too?? Dami lohun......Answer me" Jane bowed her head a little "This is your twelve years of marriage,and yet no issues,I'm getting old,I want to 'back' my grandchild before death comes,Matthew,your husband is my only child,let me smile again. Let me tell you that,your beauty is nothing without a child,you're a failed woman,if you can give birth,everything will fade in this world,but a child is everlasting" "Mama,I'm sorry" "Your husband is in Lokoja and you're in Lagos state,tell me how you two will................ "Mama,we're on holidays,I'm going to meet him tomorrow" "Better!! In the next three month,I want to see your large stomach,else........" Mama thundered and strode away "Uhmm,Mama,are you going now?? Pls Sleep over" Jane pleaded. Mama simply gave her a stern look and continued walking. Hot tears streamed Jane's face,she felt like screaming,she was shivering with cold. She brought out her handkerchief and wiped her tears. 1 Like |
| Re: Burdens by kizzykeziah: 7:41pm On May 04, 2015 |
I didn't know Kitnah was a real Yoruba girl  Let's see how this rolls. I'm definitely following and don't dream of dropping an update this short  Write on bae... I'll comment on it when you update some more. 1 Like |
| Re: Burdens by Nobody: 8:26pm On May 04, 2015 |
It looks like a nice story, more inspiration to you, darling Kitnah. Following you, please come and update ooo, and bring something delicious to my table. 1 Like |
| Re: Burdens by toykathy(f): 8:46pm On May 04, 2015 |
kitnah:i dey come, wait for moi o 1 Like |
| Re: Burdens by Nobody: 5:59am On May 05, 2015 |
Ciela:Thank you bae I'll definitely update today kizzykeziah:Lmao I'm yoruba,by location Thanks for following toykathy:We're waiting ma |
| Re: Burdens by Nobody: 7:29am On May 05, 2015 |
Don't make it too boring, add spices(fun) a lil. . We're waitin 1 Like |
| Re: Burdens by Nobody: 8:06am On May 05, 2015 |
Chapter One Godwin strolled into his apartment. The apartment was situated in one of the expensive area in kogi state. The building was painted in Blue,while beautiful flowers decorated the house,the compound wall was topped with electric wire to prevent thieves. As he entered the living room,he could perceive sweet aroma that circulated the room. The living room would have passed for an art gallery due to the artistic drawing fixed everywhere and the riot of bright colours. There was a staircase by the corner of the house that leads to the master's bedroom. Framed photographs were hanged on the wall,while beautiful flower-vase and tall white orchids were scattered across the room. The living room has some scarlet leather sofa arranged in a circle shape. "Welcome dear" Anita said,coming from the kitchen,she smelled of curry and nutmeg. She quickly collected her husband suitcase and gave him a warm embrace. "Thank you,where are the kids??" Godwin asked "Uhmm,they went to school for their report card and you're done for the day?? It's just 12'o'clock" "Yeah,you know,there isn't much to do, work isn't as effective as before,we're just going there to append our signature" Godwin explained. "I'm very sure if NIOMP was a private organization,it would have folded up" "Not exactly,we're still working,but it's just once in a blue moon,not as effective as before" "I can still remember when it was hectic,but I'm happy,I have you to myself now" Godwin sat down on the couch. "FG is making process to privatise it,so we're waiting" "Why would they privatise it?? That's a bad decision" Anita said "I'll go set the table" Anita left the living room,while Godwin switched on their 14inches plasma tv. 'Dong Dong Dong'Godwin's Iphone 6+ vibrated,he quickly picked it and saw the caller name Matthew,his co-worker "Hello Matt" Godwin said "Hey, whatsup" "I'm cool,what's popping??" "Are you at home??" "Sure!" "Cool,I have a great suprise for you" "Really?? I can't wait" Godwin disconnected the call and returned the phone to it's former position. The relationship between Matthew and Godwin had escalated from co-workers to friends,they did things in unison,they hid no secrets from each other. Anita came to the living room,with the food she was preparing,she was setting the dinning room,when she overheard her husband. "Who were you talking to??" She asked. "It's Godwin,I invited him to join us,hope you won't mind??" "Mind keh?? I don't mind o" She said as she returned to the kitchen. ' Tin Tin Tin The door bell rang,Godwin rose to get the door,when he opened the door,Matthew came in with his wife Jane. "Ohh,bless my soul!! look who we have here?? What an august visitor!!!" Godwin said as he embraced Jane "you never told me you're bringing your beautiful wife" he chastised Matthew "I wanted it to be a surprise" "Ohh,yes,it was!!" "Good afternoon" Jane greeted and curtseyed " Iyawo wa .......our wife" Godwin greeted in the most appropriate way to greet a friend's wife "A very good afternoon to you,so you abandoned us in this 'village' and you were busy flexing in the city,huh??" "E ma binu.....Don't be offfended,it's work,the recent strike affected our calender and we have to patch things up for the student,but we're on our semester break,so I'll be staying for a while" "It's okay,maybe before your departure,My friend would have added weight" They all bursted out laughing,its' no news that Matthew is as skinny as an electric pole. "Mama do good's customer" Godwin eyed him,while Matthew gave him a playful punch. "Matt,are you serious?? I thought you said you always prepare your meal??" Matthew scratched his hair,He was rocking the 'old school' style. 'Uhmm,you know sometimes,when I'm tired or weak or........." Godwin faked a cough to depict that Matthew was lying. "let's go to the dinning table pls" Godwin and Matthew went to the dinning table,while Jane rushed outside to answer her incoming call. Anita came in with two bottled water,just then Jane also entered the living room. Anita was dumbstruck, her world turned over,her head was spinning, she could feel blood surged through her veins,her vision was blurred. A cold shiver ran down her spine and she almost dropped the bottled water onto the ground. She had not expected to see Jane again,not in this world,just when she was having the time of her life,just when everything was going smoothly. She doesn't want to read that page of her life anymore. Too many memories. Too many ghosts. Too many evils. Too many shadows Who would have thought Jane would got married?? Anita knew Jane meant trouble in her life. She decided to brace herself for the worst. Jane also went down the memory lane,her worst nightmare stood in front of her and she couldn't do anything. She had longed for this day to come,She had fantasized about how she would questioned Anita for ruining her life, but she was speechless. "Hi,I'm Jane,Matthew's wife,I guess you're Godwin's wife??" Jane said with a smile. "Yeah,I'm Godwin's wife,I'm Anita" "Nice to meet you" Jane said as she stretched her hands. Anita closed her eyes,and heaved heavily and took Jane's hand in a shake,pangs of guilt filled her heart,Jane's hand were softer than before,and that sensation brought back memory,the last time they held hand was............... She shied away from such thoughts,it's in the past. "Yeah.......Me too,let's join the men" Anita said and she was surprised she was able to compose herself. They went to the dinning room,Anita dished out the meal. "Shall we eat??" Godwin asked "Yes!!" They all chorused,while Matt said a short prayer and they 'chopped' away Silence enveloped the room except for the click click click sound of cutleries. "So,how is unilag?? I know you're enjoying the perks of being a lecturer in a federal university" Godwin said breaking the silence. "Well,Unilag is fine,and the students are doing good,though sometimes rebellious" Jane replied. [i]Oh,she's a lecturer[\i] Anita said to herself,she felt jealousy and hatred for her. But her alter ego countered her emotions, 'you've caused her a lot of pains' How could she gained employment before her? She asked no one in particular. Anita graduated eight years ago from the prestigious University of Lagos,She had a first class in Business administration,and ever since then,she has been seeking for meaningful employment. Among her peers,who graduated at the same time,she was the only one still jobless. Anita felt rage at that moment,she licked her lower lips furiously. "That's good" Godwin said "And where is your wife working??" "Ohh,she's still seeking for employment,you know the thing with Nigeria nao" "Of course,I understand perfectly,though my employment was threw at me,on a platter of Gold,no stress whatsoever" Jane said,she knew it would make Anita mad with anger. Just as she predicted,it worked,Anita could hear Jane mocking her deep down,while hiding it under a facade "You're lucky!!" Godwin replied Princess and Bolu ran inside with excitement written on their faces. "Mummy,I came first,Princess took the second position in her class,My headmaster gave me this gift" Bolu,the eldest spilled out in a rush. "Liar,I came first too" Princess countered "And you were not given this gift,why??" "Because,it has finished" "Ooo bii.....Ntoor" Bolu said as she lowered her eyelids in mockery. Jane felt she was winning the in making Anita feel bad,but she was wrong,Anita has two daughters,two beautiful and brilliant daughter, she might not be employed,but she's fulfilled,while she's barren,Jane felt like screaming out her lungs. "Ohh,let me see your card" Jane said in her soft voice,while Bolu gave her the card eagerly Jane quickly studied the school address written boldly on the report sheet. She snapped a picture of it in her head. "Ohh,you're a brainy one,congrats" Jane said "Thank you,Aunty" Bolu replied Anita felt her world tumbling down,She felt like snatching the report sheet from Jane,but there was no way she would do that without arousing suspicions. She squirmed,winked and twisted her body part,hoping her children would get the message and get inside. But no,her children are not warring in nature. Now,that Jane is aware she's having children,trouble is waging. "Uhmm,Bolu........Princess,go and take your bath and join us" Anita managed to say. "But mummy,we normally eat before taking our bath" Bolu questioned. "Do as you're told,don't question your mother" Godwin thundered. Jane handed the report card to Bolu,while Bolu and her sister entered their room. They ate their food in silence. "Thanks for the meal,we have to be on our way" Matthew said as he got up. "Ohh,it's a pleasure,Thanks!!" Godwin patted Matthew's back lightly. Jane stood up and gave Anita,a stern look of this-is-not-over-yet,and she hugged her coldly. 1 Like |
| Re: Burdens by Nobody: 8:26am On May 05, 2015 |
Keep it coming. . Nice write-up . . 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Burdens by Nobody: 8:40am On May 05, 2015 |
I can see You have a story to tell. I felt the pressure building up, already when I read the first episode. You're doing pretty well. Your intonation's been okay and all. You could improve, though. I told you about the way you devised of not using the space key after a comma, you should do something on it. Also, you might want to have an extra eye for description. Pardon me for saying that, but you know description is my thing and I often tend to think others should, too. According to a great sage, writing might be of two categories- Showing; Telling You might want to show us what you have or tell, instead. When showing, you should avoid gerunds but not like a plague, attimes, you'll just have to use them. When telling, you tend to use gerunds mostly. Lest I forget, Showing tends to aid description, Telling aids narration. Overall, you did a good job with the first update but ofcourse, there could be room for improvement. You should come continue. 2 Likes |
| Re: Burdens by Nobody: 4:12pm On May 05, 2015 |
thronekid:Coming from a fellow writer... Ayam honoured As per the description thingy, I'm more of a narrative writer than a descriptive writer, description is one of the major challenges I've faced in the past and I'm facing presently as a writer. But I'll try my utmost best to describe perfectly,because since I'm using the third person,description plays a vital role. Once again,Thanks!! |
| Re: Burdens by D9ty7(m): 9:31am On May 06, 2015 |
*peeping |
| Re: Burdens by Nobody: 9:44am On May 06, 2015 |
D9ty7:Thou shalt not peep |
| Re: Burdens by D9ty7(m): 9:53am On May 06, 2015 |
kitnah:The book of...? |
| Re: Burdens by Nobody: 9:59am On May 06, 2015 |
Jane walked into the hospital, the odd antiseptic smell, synonymous with hospitals, filled the air. Two nurses rushed a young man who was involved in an accident, blood gushed out of his head. Jane looked away because blood makes her squeamish. A friend had directed her to the hospital. According to her friend, the hospital is the best in the state and the doctors there are up to the task. Jane had come for her test results that was carried out a week ago, she picked a STYLE magazine laying helplessly on the couch and she flipped through it. "It's your turn to see the doctor" The tall nurse informed her. Jane wondered greatly at the Nurse's height, to worsen the matter, the nurse was wearing high-heels. Jane quickly opined that modelling should be her work and not nursing. Suddenly aware that the tall nurse was still waiting for some kind of response from her. Jane held back her honest opinion and managed a polite "Thank you,I'll be on my way" Jane entered the doctor's office quietly, The office was large in size, A stethoscope was laying helplessly on the desk, The diagram of a woman's internal body part was hanged on the wall. Jane could see two handbill, hanged directly opposite the door,one was with the inscription 'HEALTH IS WEALTH', while the other was 'AIDS IS REAL'. "Good morning,sir" She greeted "Ohh,good morning,Jane right??" Jane nodded "Please do sit down" the doctor continued "I guess you're here for your test result,right??" "Yes sir" Jane replied "Well,going through your test result,you're 100% okay,I can't pinpoint any disease or infection that might be stopping you from giving birth" "Then,why am I barren??" "Well,the equipment we used to examine your urine and all other things are imported, Needless to say,if you go to any other laboratory, their result will be the same with ours" "Thank you sir, I'll be on my way" Jane strode out of the hospital, She had heard it like a million times, that she's okay ,then what could be her problem?? Her alter ego replied her 'your pasts'. No!! She screamed. Could it be that her past is haunting her?? "Aunty! Aunty!!" A woman called Jane looked back "hope nothing??" She asked "Nothing ma, Do you remember me??" The woman said breathing heavily due to the way she ran. "I'm sorry,I don't think so" "Really?? Well,you helped my son with his admission,Ayobami" The woman explained "Ohh,you're his mum,sorry ma,I don't recognise you earlier" "It's okay,I understand you see a lot of people daily" "Absolutely" "So Ayobami told me,God has not given you child yet,and I'm thinking you can come to our church on sunday,here's the address" The woman said as she handed the church card to Jane. "Thank you ma,I'll be there" Jane said as she collected the card. 1 Like |
| Re: Burdens by Nobody: 11:30am On May 06, 2015 |
kitnah:Am here jare oya quick quick update 1 Like |
| Re: Burdens by jezuzboi(m): 1:26pm On May 06, 2015 |
Alright Kitnah, I've joined. 1 Like |
| Re: Burdens by Nobody: 5:41pm On May 06, 2015 |
kitnah: Sweet heart as always am a secret admire of your piece. Sincerely 1 Like |
| Re: Burdens by Nobody: 7:50pm On May 06, 2015 |
Kitnah i'm nt happy wit u ooo, u hv a nice story lyk dis going on nd u didn't invite me abi Anyway, i've spread my mat on ur thread whether u lyk it or not.......... As 4 d story.... U are doing a very nice job..... Keep it flowing....... I knw u will definitely improve wit tym nd i believe u will become one of d great writers in NL soon..... Following till d end. 1 Like |
| Re: Burdens by Nobody: 8:09pm On May 06, 2015 |
adeh39:*kneels down* e maa binu ma Sorry for not inviting you,now that you're here,let's go there At bolded,I hope so too,with the help of d.9ty7 (that's if he criticise properly)and other writers too. All in all, Thanks for your encouragement,I really appreciate. Bennyzino:Thank you very much.......I really appreciate At bolded,O.Y.O is your nick o, jezuzboi:Thank you so much,dear I need your criticisms as well,so gbo?? blym:Thank you sir If you have any corrections,pls spill it out! |
| Re: Burdens by Nobody: 8:34pm On May 06, 2015 |
ok o kitnah.. You don't need to worry about the bolded. When last were you addressed in a lovely tone as such. Jus encouraging you. 1 Like |
| Re: Burdens by jezuzboi(m): 10:48pm On May 06, 2015 |
The story is interesting so far, & the flow is cool. Just check ur use of (,) & (.) & also spacing, especially after (,) I'm eager two know about those two ladies' past. There are details there that'll really be interesting. 1 Like |
| Re: Burdens by Nobody: 12:10am On May 07, 2015 |
jezuzboi:I'll surely take note of the spacing and punctuations. Thanks a lot.......I do appreciate! 1 Like |
| Re: Burdens by Nobody: 8:37am On May 07, 2015 |
Anita has been depressed since she saw Jane, she has been restless, sleep has become an alien to her, She finds it difficult to prepare meals for the family. Her husband took the responsibility. Her hair was untidy and she was a shadow of her old self, within two weeks, the outstanding beauty she possessed was gradually fading. She was light in complexion, a bit on the plump side, always fashion-conscious, but these days, she's losing weight. The fact that she can't predict Jane's next moves or steps is eating her up, She had stabbed Jane in the back when they were in school and she was expecting the same. She drifted apart from her family, She rarely keep a conversation with her husband. Hatred and Anger flows freely in her heart, She transferred her aggression to her family easily. Anita felt she needed distraction to get herself back. She brought up the conversation one night, when her husband was relaxing. "Hey,I was thinking since I don't have much luck white collar jobs, maybe you can give some money to start up a business" Anita had thought about it and Jane's employment triggered that move in her, even though she wasn't sure of her husbands' decision. "Pardon??" "You heard me right, I want to start a small business, I'm tired of staying at home" "No wayyyyyy" Godwin dragged "Because??" "Because most businesswoman have no time for their family, they are money-conscious, their children are wayward, and I can't allow you to join the league, its' not right" "Oh really?? Feed me more, its' normal for you to work and be paid, but its' not right for me, talk about gender equality" Anita said, her voice rising. "I've told you several times to do away with all this petty feminism talk, it never works and will never" "There we go again!! You're talking from the warped mentality of most men, nothing stops me from working, there's a difference between an highly opinionated lady, an independent lady, and a feminist, you guys just categorized them as feminists" Godwin stood up, pacing around the spacious room. "Inferiority complex at its' peak!! You're not working, I can provide your needs, Ever since I introduced Jane, you're not yourself, you're lost in thought,you're ............." "This isn't about Jane,okay?? This is about me, I want to work, I'm tired of staying idle, I didn't attend university just to end up in kitchen" Anita said,pointing her middle fingers. "Let's stop quibbling over this issue, you are not working,PERIOD !!" Godwin said with a naughty smirk, as he slumped onto the bed and wrapped himself with the large blanket. Godwin's answer failed to quieten Anita who cried all night. She thought she might find solace in her husband's approval of her decision, but it only worsen the matter, so she decided to take the bold step of.............. 1 Like |
| Re: Burdens by Nobody: 11:00am On May 07, 2015 |
CRAP 1 Like |
| Re: Burdens by D9ty7(m): 11:12am On May 07, 2015 |
sweetorgasm:Oga, I still jam you for here? U be MTN? But your comment was uncalled for. The fact that you read it all through doesn't make it 'crap' like you called it. Even if it is crap, you can as well leave without commenting. Even though its your opinion, the way you aired it is wrong. Cheers! 1 Like |
| Re: Burdens by Nobody: 11:13am On May 07, 2015 |
D9ty7:crap 1 Like |
| Re: Burdens by Nobody: 11:17am On May 07, 2015 |
D9ty7:You're minding the fool, the idi'ot is obsessed with me,he's a known troll who won't let me be........ I can swear with my last kobo,he didn't read a single paragraph, he's doing all this to make me feel bad. Thank you jare |
| Re: Burdens by D9ty7(m): 11:18am On May 07, 2015 |
sweetorgasm:Now I understand. You can now run along and return to class. Or you have no papers today? When are you finishing the exam sef? WASSCE May/June I mean. 1 Like |
| Re: Burdens by D9ty7(m): 11:19am On May 07, 2015 |
kitnah:Never say never my sister. He probably might be crushing on you. Lol 1 Like |
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