How To Date, Marry & Fit Into The Life of An Educated professional Man

Sometime we ladies think it’s easy dating/marying an intelligent, educated professional. We easily get attracted to the power suits but forgetting we are dealing with people who will read and think 5 steps ahead of any step we take. They are more difficult to be manipulated, lied to, fooled or cheated on because they apply their skills, training, technology and savvy to the relationship. My hubby who’s an internet security expert shocked me one day when he logged in and showed me all my chats on Whatsapp and Facebook for the past one year. I was very embarrassed, and thanked God we have such a good rapport and I didn’t upload anything unbecoming. That day I learned that ‘delete’ does not mean ‘wipe’ in IT.

Here are some help to manage your educated professional man better:

1. Report Yourself: Just assume he knows or one day will find out everything you did or doing, especially if he is the technology savvy type. Therefore learn to either report yourself with humor or respect yourself before you are shocked like me. Never assume your chats are not being read. In IT it's called 'footprints'. There are software out there that can monitor ur IT footprints. Just let him know there's this faceless seriousness person u chat with sometime. It's better than being busted.

2.The talking ones are far better than the quiet ones. You have to understand that both are intelligent otherwise they won’t be where they are today. But we ladies are attracted to quiet, calm men during dates but we forget that back in the house that also means that you can never tell what he has in mind or what he’s thinking. I prefer those who talk. They are livelier and easier to predict. You know when there’s trouble or not.

3. Research your words carefully before you use them: What you think they mean may not mean what you think. They may also mean different things in different areas. It’s popular for girls in Nigeria to use the phrase ‘I need a break’ erroneously thinking it means they need to slow down the tempo of the relationship. In USA and elsewhere it’s a coded word to communicate you want to either end the relationship, or you want to start seeing other men. Once you use that phrase it’s difficult to come back again because it looks like you’ve gone to oil your grove and now want to come back. It’s always better to have a discussion on what you want in a relationship than using this borrowed phrases on smart people.

5. Don’t demand honesty rather demand respect. Honesty ends a relationship, it’s respect that keeps it going. There is no honest man in a relationship. Honest people are blunt people. 80% of ladies cannot handle blunt people except you want someone who will tell you bluntly one hot afternoon that you are smelling…LoL! Respect is being mindful what he does or doesn’t do in your presence and to your knowledge; being mindful how he addresses you when he’s upset. It’s respect that keeps a relationship going and not honesty. Stop harping on you want him to be honest. If he respects you other things will fall in.

6. Seek for happiness and not his wealth. People accumulate money hoping they can use it to buy happiness. If you have a very funny man who keeps you happy and makes you laugh for hours, you are getting the same feeling (if not better) that a wealthy man tries to get by drinking expensive wines with you, or taking you on a vacation to a beach island just to be happy for a moment. There are many things money can’t buy otherwise millionaires won’t be committing suicide. If a man can make you happy without spending, why cry for those who will spend to achieve same goal.

7. You can be tough and still be soft. Simply stop yelling and stop arguing with him. Let him yell, that’s what they do in soccer and football fields. Ladies don’t yell. Have your unique way to get his attention or communicate you are upset. Don’t just yell because your friend, Jane, yells. Be unique in certain ways by developing your own brand. I have the habit of sitting quietly at the corner of the couch or lying on the bed reading my bible or a novel when I want to let him know I’m upset. He gets the message and will almost, always come to sit or lie next to me. I achieve the same thing people who yell achieve.

8 Don’t drag your silent treatment. Don’t let it ever go beyond 4-6 hrs. The idea of silent treatment is to communicate your displeasure, once he gets the message end it. Some women have destroyed their relationships and marriages by prolonging ‘silent treatment’. When you create avoid you give room for another woman. Be careful.

9. Be Content: I laugh when ladies say they are independent women yet turn around to say they ended a relationship because a man was not giving them money. An independent woman works for her own money. Do you know that men who give ladies money don’t respect women? They don’t see ladies as partners rather they see themselves as the boss who needs to take care small or needy women. Gifts are ok ( I don’t care how expensive) but as long as you keep asking for transport fare, money to buy food and clothes you are needy and a servant to the boss; you will never get that respect you deserve.

10. Be versatile. Be current in your field and world events so you can converse intelligently. Pick up books and read so you can fit into professional and academic discussions. Some of our sisters are just lazy. Some have never opened a book to read for the past 2 years. I laughed when a lady who introduced herself as an English major kept mute all evening when we hung out with our men and their buddies. She looked like a village girl coming out for the first time because she didn’t know what to contribute to the discussions.

11. Don't give room to suspicion. Don't do things that can kill trust and the respect he has for you. Once the trust is dead, the relationship is either in trouble or over. Negotiate what you want. If you want to date non-exclusively till he marries you, discuss it that you don't wanna put all your eggs in one basket. He should make up his mind fast or allow you to have 'bench-warmers' (chikers). It's better than cheating, sneaking around and being creepy. When you get exposed, normally you lose respect and lose both men.

What happens when the wife is equally as Intelligent

Marriage/dating ought not to be a game IMO. The tenets of successful relationships are none other than honesty, integrity, caring and genuine love

^^^
Truth

jaybee3:
What happens when the wife is equally as Intelligent

Marriage/dating ought not to be a game IMO. The tenets of successful relationships are none other than honesty, integrity, caring and genuine love

Search for the emboldened in her post and you will see the kinda mindset some women go into marriage with.

She didn't lie cause I have experienced something similar.

They are more difficult to be manipulated, lied to, fooled or cheated on because they apply their skills, training, technology and savvy to the relationship.

Now you know why marriages these days suck.

These daughters are out to lie, fool, manipulate and cheat on their partners.

A lady once said to me.


Leo, I don't see this our relationship going anywhere because I can't date a guy that knows my every move. Someone that i can't deceive or lie to.

It is pathetic how some of them reason.

Any serious lady should read this and take note. CC. Lalasticlala This is front page worthy.

Woged2005:
How To Date, Marry & Fit Into The Life of An Educated professional Man

Sometime we ladies think it’s easy dating/marying an intelligent, educated professional. We easily get attracted to the power suits but forgetting we are dealing with people who will read and think 5 steps ahead of any step we take. They are more difficult to be manipulated, lied to, fooled or cheated on because they apply their skills, training, technology and savvy to the relationship. My hubby who’s an internet security expert shocked me one day when he logged in and showed me all my chats on Whatsapp and Facebook for the past one year. I was very embarrassed, and thanked God we have such a good rapport and I didn’t upload anything unbecoming. That day I learned that ‘delete’ does not mean ‘wipe’ in IT.

Here are some help to manage your educated professional man better:

1. Report Yourself: Just assume he knows or one day will find out everything you did or doing, especially if he is the technology savvy type. Therefore learn to either report yourself with humor or respect yourself before you are shocked like me. Never assume your chats are not being read. In IT it's called 'footprints'. There are software out there that can monitor ur IT footprints. Just let him know there's this faceless seriousness person u chat with sometime. It's better than being busted.

2.The talking ones are far better than the quiet ones. You have to understand that both are intelligent otherwise they won’t be where they are today. But we ladies are attracted to quiet, calm men during dates but we forget that back in the house that also means that you can never tell what he has in mind or what he’s thinking. I prefer those who talk. They are livelier and easier to predict. You know when there’s trouble or not.

3. Research your words carefully before you use them: What you think they mean may not mean what you think. They may also mean different things in different areas. It’s popular for girls in Nigeria to use the phrase ‘I need a break’ erroneously thinking it means they need to slow down the tempo of the relationship. In USA and elsewhere it’s a coded word to communicate you want to either end the relationship, or you want to start seeing other men. Once you use that phrase it’s difficult to come back again because it looks like you’ve gone to oil your grove and now want to come back. It’s always better to have a discussion on what you want in a relationship than using this borrowed phrases on smart people.

5. Don’t demand honesty rather demand respect. Honesty ends a relationship, it’s respect that keeps it going. There is no honest man in a relationship. Honest people are blunt people. 80% of ladies cannot handle blunt people except you want someone who will tell you bluntly one hot afternoon that you are smelling…LoL! Respect is being mindful what he does or doesn’t do in your presence and to your knowledge; being mindful how he addresses you when he’s upset. It’s respect that keeps a relationship going and not honesty. Stop harping on you want him to be honest. If he respects you other things will fall in.

6. Seek for happiness and not his wealth. People accumulate money hoping they can use it to buy happiness. If you have a very funny man who keeps you happy and makes you laugh for hours, you are getting the same feeling (if not better) that a wealthy man tries to get by drinking expensive wines with you, or taking you on a vacation to a beach island just to be happy for a moment. There are many things money can’t buy otherwise millionaires won’t be committing suicide. If a man can make you happy without spending, why cry for those who will spend to achieve same goal.

7. You can be tough and still be soft. Simply stop yelling and stop arguing with him. Let him yell, that’s what they do in soccer and football fields. Ladies don’t yell. Have your unique way to get his attention or communicate you are upset. Don’t just yell because your friend, Jane, yells. Be unique in certain ways by developing your own brand. I have the habit of sitting quietly at the corner of the couch or lying on the bed reading my bible or a novel when I want to let him know I’m upset. He gets the message and will almost, always come to sit or lie next to me. I achieve the same thing people who yell achieve.

8 Don’t drag your silent treatment. Don’t let it ever go beyond 4-6 hrs. The idea of silent treatment is to communicate your displeasure, once he gets the message end it. Some women have destroyed their relationships and marriages by prolonging ‘silent treatment’. When you create avoid you give room for another woman. Be careful.

9. Be Content: I laugh when ladies say they are independent women yet turn around to say they ended a relationship because a man was not giving them money. An independent woman works for her own money. Do you know that men who give ladies money don’t respect women? They don’t see ladies as partners rather they see themselves as the boss who needs to take care small or needy women. Gifts are ok ( I don’t care how expensive) but as long as you keep asking for transport fare, money to buy food and clothes you are needy and a servant to the boss; you will never get that respect you deserve.

10. Be versatile. Be current in your field and world events so you can converse intelligently. Pick up books and read so you can fit into professional and academic discussions. Some of our sisters are just lazy. Some have never opened a book to read for the past 2 years. I laughed when a lady who introduced herself as an English major kept mute all evening when we hung out with our men and their buddies. She looked like a village girl coming out for the first time because she didn’t know what to contribute to the discussions.

11. Don't give room to suspicion. Don't do things that can kill trust and the respect he has for you. Once the trust is dead, the relationship is either in trouble or over. Negotiate what you want. If you want to date non-exclusively till he marries you, discuss it that you don't wanna put all your eggs in one basket. He should make up his mind fast or allow you to have 'bench-warmers' (chikers). It's better than cheating, sneaking around and being creepy. When you get exposed, normally you lose respect and lose both men.

Beautiful

1. The report yourself stuff is more like been open

5. I demand both Honesty and Respect: If I am smelling in the sun, please tell me. Would rather hear it from my husband and quickly have a shower or wipe than to hear it outside or have unsavory reputation for smelling armpits amongst colleagues. A man can still be honest respectfully and lovingly

Yes, i got something from this.....

jaybee3:
What happens when the wife is equally as Intelligent

Marriage/dating ought not to be a game IMO. The tenets of successful relationships are none other than honesty, integrity, caring and genuine love

Same thing, sweetheart - She is more difficult to be manipulated, lied to, fooled or cheated on because she applies her skills, training, technology and savvy to the relationship. Lying and manipulating an educated woman is outright insulting because when you do that you are questioning her intelligence and education. Mutual respect is the key. Respect her! An African adage says "it's respect that makes two dogs to lie down and roll for each other, not that they are afraid of a fight"

Woged2005:


Same thing, sweetheart - She is more difficult to be manipulated, lied to, fooled or cheated on because she applies her skills, training, technology and savvy to the relationship. Lying and manipulating an educated woman is outright insulting because when you do that you are questioning her intelligence and education. Mutual respect is the key. Respect her! An African adage says "it's respect that makes two dogs to lie down and roll for each other, not that they are afraid of a fight"

Nice one

Crazy and funny proverb

Woged2005:


Same thing, sweetheart - She is more difficult to be manipulated, lied to, fooled or cheated on because she applies her skills, training, technology and savvy to the relationship. Lying and manipulating an educated woman is outright insulting because when you do that you are questioning her intelligence and education. Mutual respect is the key. Respect her! An African adage says "it's respect that makes two dogs to lie down and roll for each other, not that they are afraid of a fight"

Let me ask you this, why do you think women allow themselves to be manipulated. Is it because they aren't as intelligent or because they love whole heartedly?

simply put, you cant eat your cake and have it....

it gets worse though when the intellectual gap between partners is wide

and a game changer when both are highly intelligent (respect is often lacking and everything seem to be a challenge until they learn to handle it)

jaybee3:

Let me ask you this, why do you think women allow themselves to be manipulated. Is it because they aren't as intelligent or because they love whole heartedly?

Btw: I'm talking from experience, me and my madam both have MSc in Engineering

I am more interested in this^^^^
I need to understand why we allow this. Co's when you are out of the 'relationship ' it doesn't make sense from the outside.
It just occur to me now that, this is Y women feel used wen things get sour.

pretty050:
I am more interested in this^^^^
I need to understand why we allow this. Co's when you are out of the 'relationship ' it doesn't make sense from the outside.
It just occur to me now that, this is Y women feel used wen things get sour.

What exactly are you interested in, the loving wholeheartedly part or the perceived gap in intelligence?

Women feel used because they aren't usually true to themselves and you simply can't knock a man who has no control over the other person's feeling.

Yes we can influence how you feel but as a woman in a relationship, you need to have absolute clarity on your expectation from the relationship. If they aren't being met then why stay in it by holding on the the ray of hope?

It's really a simple rule you know. If you love yourself then you will surely know what you deserve. You can only lie to yourself for so long before frustration kicks in.

jaybee3:

What exactly are you interested in, the loving wholeheartedly part or the perceived gap in intelligence?

Women feel used because they aren't usually true to themselves and you simply can't knock a man who has no control over the other person's feeling.

Yes we can influence how you feel but as a woman in a relationship, you need to have absolute clarity on your expectation from the relationship. If they aren't being met then why stay in it by holding on the the ray of hope?

It's really a simple rule you know. If you love yourself then you will surely know what you deserve. You can only lie to yourself for so long before frustration kicks in.

The bolded should be on a billboard.

End of.

"Why do u think intelligent women allow themselves to be manipulated"

pretty050:
"Why do u think intelligent women allow themselves to be manipulated"

The few that I know all believe in the union called marriage
They are usually guided by words written in the holy books
They are strong advocate of total submission
Above all, it’s hard to notice manipulation when you are madly in love


BTW: Intelligent folks embrace the power of communication. I know it’s a different ball game to actively listen but at least they don’t play games as the OP is trying to make us believe. That’s the point I’m trying to make

jaybee3:


The few that I know all believe in the union called marriage
They are usually guided by words written in the holy books
They are strong advocate of total submission
Above all, it’s hard to notice manipulation when you are madly in love


BTW: Intelligent folks embraces the power of communication. I know it’s a different ball game to actively listen but at least they don’t play games as the OP is trying to make us believe. That’s the point I’m trying to make

Noted Thanks[b][/b]

pretty050:
"Why do u think intelligent women allow themselves to be manipulated"

If you have ever attended a meeting where two Smart people try to show off their intelligence by arguing all day, nothing ever gets achieved. There several reasons anyone (not only intelligent women) could allow themselves to be manipulated...

1). They have more stake in the relationship and will lose out if things go 'South', especially where the lady has children or has given in her health, beauty,and resources to the relationship.

2). If she is overtly dependent on the man ( a boss-servant relationship). In other words the man provides for her 80%- 100%. She keeps her cool even when she knows the games the man is playing otherwise she will lose his financial and material support

3). Societal influence and family training. Many African girls were trained to be under a man no matter what is going on. It's been hard-wired into them not to question or oppose a spouse. The detest and are afraid of being divorced, which some African societies still see as a taboo. It's a man's word out there. most women simply hang in there at all cost.

4. Finally, when she's under the 'spell' of 'Luv', she's blind. She even sees abuse as 'luv'

etc etc etc etc

k

Hian...see advice!

Is marriage the ultimate in a woman's life?

Don't know what to type sef

report your source before I provoke!

in other news, the yans and points make senses sha

G

Nairalanders just make like look so freaking delicate

Ok

Nice one op. You are on point. Talking ones are always much better. Quiet guys upset n bore me out.

spongeisback:
Is marriage the ultimate in a woman's life?

Beats me.

Woged2005:


Same thing, sweetheart - She is more difficult to be manipulated, lied to, fooled or cheated on because she applies her skills, training, technology and savvy to the relationship. Lying and manipulating an educated woman is outright insulting because when you do that you are questioning her intelligence and education. Mutual respect is the key. Respect her! An African adage says "it's respect that makes two dogs to lie down and roll for each other, not that they are afraid of a fight"

Just pray your hubby(internet security expert) does not have access to this one(the bolded word)