marriage lies

there was this couple who were married for over twenty years and every time they make love, the husband insists on shutting the lights.
well, after 20 years, the wife decided to break his husband from this habit cos she felt it was stupid.
in the middle of a romantic session, she suddenly switche don the lights. she looked down and saw her husband using a battery operated d**k. she got extremely upset, "you impotent bastard!"
"how could yoou be lying to me allthese years? you better explain!"
the husband looks her straight in the eyes and said, "i'll explain the toy if you explain the kids"

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a little boy goes to his dad and asks, "what is politics?"
dad says, "well son, let me try to explain it this way: i am the breadwinner of the family so we call me the capitalism, yourmum is the administrator of the money so we call her the government, we are here to take care of your needs so you are the people. The nanny is the working class and you baby brother, he is the future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.”
The little boy went off to bed thinking about what daddy had said. Latter that night, he hears his baby brother, crying. He gets up to check on him and found that the baby had severely soiled his diaper. He went to his parents’ room and found mummy sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her he went into nanny’s room and found the door locked. He decided to peek through the key hole and saw his father in bed with the nanny.
The next morning, the boy told his father, dad I now understand the concept of politics” “Good, tell me what you know.”
The little boy said, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government was asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit.”
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A man decided to go for a face lift on his birthday. On his way home, he branched a barber’s shop and asked the barber, how old do you think I am. “35” the barber replied. “I am actually 47” the man said happily. He then went to macdonalds and asked the sales girl. Hi sweetie, looking at me, how old do you think I am?”
“29” the girl replied.
” Well, I am actually 47 and today is my birthday”
On his way home he met an old woman at the park and asked the woman the same question.
The woman responded, “well, I am getting quite old and I don’t see much clearly but I think I can try. Now turn your back. Ah ha! You are 47! The woman exclaimed.
Astonished how an old woman could have guessed his age right, the man asked “how did you do that”
“Simple, you were at my front at macdonalds, I just needed to confirm if you really were!”