By Francis Ewherido

On March 27, 2014, a house help, simply identified as David, killed and beheaded his former boss, a 65-year-old retired Chief Magistrate, Olufunmilayo Timeyin, at her residence in Ogun State.

Timeyin had two weeks earlier sacked David for allegedly stealing her valuables, including phones and jewelry. He was arrested for the theft and ironically it was his victim who requested that David be released.

On February 24, 2014, I came back to the office and was informed about a show of shame and cruelty that took place in the neighbourhood in my absence. A clergyman’s wife beat her house help silly, biting her on the buttocks. On October 28, 2013, a 27-year-old woman, Chiamaka Nnajiofor, was sentenced to 10 years imprisonment for her culpability in the death of her housekeeper, Oliver Arakwe. What drove Nnajiofor to the extreme that landed her in this mess? These cases bring us to our topic today.

First, are house helps people you do not like but must learn to live with because you cannot really do without them (Necessary evil)? Second, can anything good come out of house helps (Necessarily evil)? The stories of house helps we hear are horrifying, intriguing and mind-boggling.

They range from stealing of employer’s properties sometimes running into millions to stories of sex abuse of, and unbelievable cruelty to, the children put in their care. They also organise armed gangs to rob their employers and orchestrate the kidnapping of their employers or their employers’ children. Like a needle in a haystack, you hear a good story occasionally.

One of the tales I heard recently was about a friend’s former neighbour. He said that the only way he knew his neighbour was home was when he heard the house help screaming. Any time the house was quiet, madam was not at home. This trend continued for a long time despite neighbours’ plea and advice that she should either stop beating the house help or send her away.

My friend said that on one of those days when the flat was quiet; he was passing by and noticed that the entrance door was slightly ajar. He knocked but there was no response. He called the house help and the children, still no response. Out of curiosity, he opened the door and went in. He started calling and walking around, still no response. As he was passing by the deep freezer, he heard a noise from within.

Luckily, it was not locked. He opened and behold the neighbour’s son and daughter were in there; the house help had tucked them in for-a-forever sleep and disappeared perhaps back to the neighbouring country from whence she came. For her, it was payback time; the enormity was inconsequential.

I do not believe in stereotypes, so I cannot label all house helps as evil. The issue is multifaceted. When teaching and counselling would-be couples; I always remind them of the challenges that come when they start having children. That is actually when the need for a house help arises.

If both are working class people with strict and long working hours, who will look after the children for the periods when they are not at home? The implication is that the house help is going to play a great role in their childrenfs early character formation. Is he/she well equipped for the assignment?

A lot of people have a trial and error approach to hiring domestic helps; I think that is dangerous. You are not just looking for a cleaner; you are looking for somebody who is going to play a major role in your children’s early formation willy-nilly. You should therefore approach it like you are choosing a spouse, because the only differences really are that the relationship is not spousal, not permanent, not covenanted and no vows are exchanged.

Before you hire a house help, first determine your needs and your expectations. Then how do you source the person? Is it through an agency, friends, relatives or some other sources? What about background checks and guarantors? Then you need to pray and fast for God to send the right house help.I guess we all need to do these when we are making important decisions and the choice of a house help is a fundamental decision. - See more at: http://www.exlinklodge.com/2014/12/are-house-helps-necessarily-evil.html?utm_source=&utm_medium=facebook#sthash.rJZ16SEk.dpuf

Hmmm!!! Odikwa very serious matter. But I don't think house helps are people you cannot do without, especially if your kids are five and above. You can always make arrangements with a creche, trustworthy neighbors or relatives. I can't imagine staying under the same roof with someone I know little or nothing about.
Truth is....Its gonna be real tough but you just have to endure it for the good of your family.
BTW @op. This thread is in the wrong section.

I dnt rili advice families 2 employ househelp esp. Males cos majority of dem end up giving u problems u dnt wnt..househelps make ur kids lazy/useless(they do all d chores)..some househelps molest ur kids wen ur nt around nd some will steal 4rm u.. D list goes on nd on..bt having helping hands is nt rili a bad idea though(only if u rili trust d person)