cococandy:
And bla bla bla continues

Ewuro4:
I really don't like discussing this topic but your post is catchy!
Contd.

FrancisTony:
To me, what I understood this to be isn't "men versus women" bash fest but many insecured men on this forum, made it to seem so.

Well, the name "feminism" might not sound cool though "women right activism would have been better".

Now, let me educate you where women are marginalised though it depends on the individuals, anyway.

1) Why would a woman be pestered and called all different sorts of names just because she decided to remain single? but different when it comes to a man. Isn't it marginalisation?
A husband and wife had mutual understanding/agreement on certain things, and some men whom it didn't concern starts telling you how she's a 21st century Jezebel bossing her husband around.

2) You committed the same gender discrimination crime in your original post. Why blaming those divorced American women you listed^^^, instead of finding out what caused the hiatus(probably, their husband), but you lumped the blame on them as sexists would always do.
Again, Kim Kardashian and her mother Kris Jenner has never associated theirselves as a feminist(infact they are anti-feminist).
Kim has divorced twice...
Kris has divorced once....
Lady gaga is also a known anti-feminist and is she having a fufilled life?

3) Why do whenever a female err, her gender would be emphasized on, instead of who did it?.
For instance, when a woman commit a crime, you will hear "women sha" meanwhile, men are expert in that crime.

I guess all these, are not gender discrimination.
Anyhoo, you can't deny gender discrimination.
Like Bisi Fayemi-Adeleye , Ekiti state first lady et al who associate herself as feminist and married. She's carrying out female child rights empowerment.
By the way, No government has taken care of anything about protecting female child rights in Nigeria like you opined; infact they are in support of Child marriage known as yerimarisation. Non-governmental organisation is the sole helper.

Lastly, you claim Nigerian feminists are pseudo, but many, still go ahead to blame feminism for destrowing marriages in Nigeria. Confused much!

Men and women are darn equal.
Men and women represents human and even the holy bible said that God made all things equally in His image.

Are they the same? NO? Infact, no two humans are the same whether male or female.

coogaluta:


My people. I'm in love with this guy

tearoses:
I usually stay away from this topic because its a very difficult topic to discuss without it becoming a male vs female bashing fest
Op of you really want mature discussions on your thread, you may want to change your title to something less confrontational.

I live in the west and here when a feminist talks I totally understand what she is saying and fighting for. They follow up with actions and are very passionate about the things that they fight and campaign for . . which is womens rights. Not one right, not two rights or rights in just some areas . . .they fight for rights in all areas that concern women.

They fight for things such as pay, against the glass ceiling, discrimination, for childcare support, against domestic violence, laws that marginalise women and a whole heap of other things. They go out in the rain and run marathons for their cause, they go to TV stations and eloquently pass accross their views, they sign petitions and obtain thousands of signatures and march down to Downing street. They have a strategy, they know what they want and they go for it.

I dont see much of that in Nigeria. I may be wrong but the flavour of the Nigerian feminist seems to only be within relationships. Howvever relationships are really built on the foundation of cultural and for those who have a religion, religious beleifs as well.
The most rugged of Nigerian feminists will not refuse to cook if her MIL comes visiting just becasue she cooked yesterday and its hubbys turn to cook today.

Some MIL's are more dangerous to the marriage than the man himself.
Its the culture that needs to be tweaked and old things that dont work are the things that need to be done away with
Some pastors have sent women to their grave with the sit and endure advise to a woman who is being abused.
This is cultural and religious advise gone wrong.

Until the Nigerian feminist embraces the "whole thing" and not just bits, they wont wont get much support and they wont be taken seriously.
Go to the grassroots, empower women, send them to school, open shelters for those suffering domestic violence, be out there fighting for the rights of women, lobby govt to pass laws to protect women and so on.

I am all for the rights of women and equal oppourtunities in all areas not just some areas. I should earn the same my male collegues are earning and if I want to retire at the same age as my male collegues then I should be able to.

babygirlfl:
OP I like the fact that you said for now because it was a joke too in England for a long time but isn't today. Fact is that Nigeria is decades and maybe up to a century behind but a drop of water they say makes a mighty ocean. Women have to do their little even if it means being called any name. Our hope is that we do the little we can now and leave the next generation of women a better world than we had.

My only hope is that what Nigerian feminist or pseudo-feminist as some call us are facing today is no different from what the western women faced long time ago but did it stop feminism from happening? No. One of the major setback that early feminist in the west experienced was huddles from fellow women. Women who were either scared to go against the norm or women who have the need to get approval from men. It does not surprise me. It was and is still expected. Even Queen Victoria of England in the 1800s did not like feminists and even said Feminists ought to get a good whipping. That still did not stop feminism from happening.

Op, Most feminist I know say it that it's the culture so I don't understand what you mean by men against women. The west too had very strict cultures that oppressed women at the time feminism was at it's infancy. If they could do it then, we can do it.

Yes there is an adage that says that when you are ready for a fight, you should be ready to get injured. For feminism to happen, some of us will get called names, some of us may not get married, some of us may get divorced etc. If people can go to war and get killed to get peace, being called names, not getting married and getting divorced is a little price to pay for feminism. It is also important to know that some of us will also live a very happy life. Remember also that some non-feminist women will still be single for life, be called names and get divorced.

klark3:

Women have been given more dan enough leeway already in dis country, they are now fully emancipated, so I really don't understand what dis feminism issue is all about.

Ewuro4:


I pondered on the whole System and it is just not possible to be your own person in a working relationship, it's not. Every decision must be joint. So what's the independence in that? It's either you have an open marriage or remain single. Besides being related to as his equal, every woman wants to be treated like well, a woman. That's the dynamics of marriage under normal circumstances. I've read many articles about Feminist men and I don't see any form of endearment about them. The woman may as well stay single, hire a sperm donor and wear her well deserved T-shirt.

Do I believe in equal opportunities? Hell yeah. Do I believe we are equal Absolutely NOT. But that's just me.

Contd.

Ewuro4:
Stillfire.. Feminism is never gonna work in Nigerian Family setting.

raumdeuter:
Child support, child marriage, domestic violence, child labour, female mutilation, girl child education are the major things I think African female should be fighting for not the who wash plates, who cook, and the self serving agenda

tearoses:

They fight for things such as pay, against the glass ceiling, discrimination, for childcare support, against domestic violence, laws that marginalise women and a whole heap of other things. They go out in the rain and run marathons for their cause, they go to TV stations and eloquently pass accross their views, they sign petitions and obtain thousands of signatures and march down to Downing street. They have a strategy, they know what they want and they go for it.

I dont see much of that in Nigeria. I may be wrong but the flavour of the Nigerian feminist seems to only be within relationships. However relationships are really built on the foundation of cultural and for those who have a religion, religious beleifs as well.
The most rugged of Nigerian feminists will not refuse to cook if her MIL comes visiting just becasue she cooked yesterday and its hubbys turn to cook today.

Until the Nigerian feminist embraces the "whole thing" and not just bits, they wont wont get much support and they wont be taken seriously.
Go to the grassroots, empower women, send them to school, open shelters for those suffering domestic violence, be out there fighting for the rights of women, lobby govt to pass laws to protect women and so on.

cococandy:
While I was growing up, I used to hear phrases like "ugwu nwanyi bu di ya"
Loosely translates to "a woman is not worthy of respect except she has a man in her life:husband"

As young as I was, I didn't need anyone to tell me how wrong those teaching were. Little little things that subtly encouraged women to believe they were worst nothing except with the approval of a man.

If it takes having to endure one jab or the other there to help promote the idea that as woman your life shouldn't be what it is dictated to you as or that your worth as a human being isn't tied to a man, then so be it.

I'm so unapologetic about my support for feminism. Very very so.
The useless guilt trips won't work as long as the discrimination still exists.

TooNoisy:


One of the most intelligent posts I have read here. One of the biggest lies of Nigerian feminists is that you can be an independent woman in marriage. Wrong!. Whoever gets married gives up independence and embraces [b]INTERDEPENDENCE - both man and woman. Marriage itself involves sharing your life with someone else, hence giving up the complete independence when you were single. Marriage is interdependence and not independence.
[/b]
I just wonder why it is so easy to confuse black people. How can you be married and be independent?

Your second point is the bigger joke. Our feminists want chivalry but would claim absolute equality with men. I haven't seen our Nairaland feminists joining politics, civil rights, caring for women who really deserve attention in the rural areas. All they do is come here to bitch about their horrible marriages and try to deceive the gullible.