My friend visits nairaland a lot and she will see all ur advices.
My friend has been married for a year now. Although during the courtship I warned her about her husband. That everybody knows him as a chronic flirt. They were both in different states. But she still went ahead. And now they are married and she has been miserable since the first day of the wedding. My eyes saw the unspeakable on their wedding day. In fact the husband is so immature and proud. No respect for her family. And he displayed it on the wedding day. Well I kept mute cos he didn't disappoint me in the character aspect as I heard they were already married and what God has joined together let no one put asunder. That was when my friend began to regret the marriage but it was late.

Fast forward to two months after the wedding, the husband started keeping women outside d home. My friend couldn't tell anyone but she confided in me. I tried to encourage her. Now it's has turned to the worst.
My friend travelled for a while for treatment and the husband wouldn't call and for days. When she calls, his phone was usually busy sometimes and he won't call back. The next morning she calls and he will bluntly say he was asleep or tired.

then during Easter they travelled down to their hometown, then she noticed some changes. Out of curiosity, she checked his phone. My friend got the shocker of her life. He has been travelling to meet his girlfrnd in another state and other girls. He sends them money, he doesn't call his wife pet names but called the girlfriend all kinds of pet names. And he really downgraded my friend in the chat, that her sex was so disappointing and even went ahead to laugh at his wife that she wasnt virgin when he met her and a virgin was even better. He was referred his wife as "that girl" to his mistress. The girl never forced him to marry her.He was the one that told her he will marry her. This is some one that do ask the guy how her intimacy life is and he would say it us fine by him. When it comes to hygiene I rate my friend 9/10. We schooled and served together.

She confronted her husbad. He could not apologize instead he blamed her for going through his phone. And says she is a baby. You knew she was a baby and still married her. That she doesn't act her age. I know that is wrong. My friend is so mature even by the way she handles his infidelity. When the reverse is the case. How can you claim to love a woman and then you downgrade her. Everyday you make cry and yet he passes by like the she means nothing.

Imagine they had a huge fight now night and in d process. He hit her. She was upset and called her mum and told he mum about his infidelity, the husband replied and said d prostitutes are better than her. My friend called me the next morning and was crying. I live far from her so I couldn't visit her

recently, she told me about the frequent night calls he makes while he is in d parlour and she was in d bed. She decided to trace the call through the help of a friend. Got the number, lo and behold it's the same mistress which she found out sometime ago.

She told me sometimes she may just need cuddling and not intimacy at night and he will just ignore her. No hugs, no kisses, no play time as couples. My ears have heard a lot.whenever I call her she sounds depressed and most times break down in tears over the phone. Sometimes she pings me and tell me she is depressed.I knew her ex and they were perfect just that parents were not in support of the relationship.

She told me this morning she was tired of the marriage. I tried to encourage her that he may stay. But on a second thought. Why will u be unhappy in a marriage and decide to stay while the unrepentant cheat is happy with the other women. The worst is that he doesn't even care and is quick to tell her she can leave. I know the guy in question well and he comes from a single parent-home so he doesn't know what it means to be a family. This hurt me. Other people warned her about this. What pains are more is that she had to fight to ensure he was accepted by her family and now the person she fought for has turned her to a filth.

I still keep asking her what drew you closer to this guy in the first place. Her reply was that wheneva she came to visit and probably makes a mistake in the cooking, that he corrects her nicely and made her laugh with jokes. And she wasn't aware of his cheating skills.that she thought people were just talking. Now d scales are off and things are upside down.

I forgot to add this. The husband thinks as long as he provides for her and the family, she should not complain when he keeps his mistress. I know marriage isn't a bed full of roses. Am married as well but my husband doesn't disrespect me d way he does to her. This should also serve as a warning to the single. Please know ur spouses well before you say "I do". Your future happiness depends on that decison. Please advice my bestie because she is depressed. Ways to handle a cheating partner
I am dropping off now cause I need head for home from work..

stay off your friend's marriage, you might even be the cause of these issues... who knows?

Let them fix their martal issues themselves! #AWordIsEnough

Simple question . . Just kill him!

Op face your front besides if she knew this and still entered she should live with the consequences of her choices. She's an adult not a child. It's obvious that it is better to live with rams and sheeps than some kinds of men



Tufiaaaaaaaaa





next

saaedlee:
stay off your friend's marriage, you might even be the cause of these issues... who knows?

Let them fix their martal issues themselves! #AWordIsEnough

I don't say anything to her. I try to encourage her as I don't want to be the reason for their break up but she calls or pings. Am trying to help her find out what she can do to be happy again and tame his cheating habit. All I want is her sanity. Imagine someone crying profusely over the phone and I just can't help her. She used to be a happy fellow all thru. Even now some people ping to say my friend doesn't reply their pings and all. I don't want dis to drive her to do the unthinkable.

SAMBARRY:
Op face your front besides if she knew this and still entered she should live with the consequences of her choices. She's an adult not a child. It's obvious that it is better to live with rams and sheeps than some kinds of men



Tufiaaaaaaaaa





next

If you guys say I should mind my business. Well fine but we should know at some point in time, we 've made wrong choices. I already told her to come here for advice and see what she can do to remedy the situation

So, your friend rejected the good guy in her life and even fought her parents to marry this "chronic-immatured-womanizer" as her husband, and now she is not happy right...??

What do you really want us to advise ur friend?

Why do women leave the best man for the job for monsters....??

I am short of advice for this ur friend, she too annoy me sef....

mumtobe:


If you guys say I should mind my business. Well fine but we should know at some point in time, we 've made wrong choices. I already told her to come here for advice and see what she can do to remedy the situation

buy that padlock wen them dey use padlock phenese. It's affordable. Buy it and give it to your friend to give her husband. She should wrap it inside present wrapper and give him. Every one will get the message


option 6 attack the root cause of the problem. The problem is not the man cheating, the problem is the instrument he's using to cheat. When you get that out of the way no problem. Shebi it's because he still has one that is why he's jumping from chidinma to abigail.




pour am acid for the power house let the thing rot away so we will hear word. Even the Bible says only the violent taketh it by force. Pour the acid when he's asleep so before he wakes up to try and redeem what's left e go don go. Maybe he'll still be jumping around again

Ab025:
So, your friend rejected the good guy in her life and even fought her parents to marry this "chronic-immatured-womanizer" as her husband, and now she is not happy right...??

What do you really want us to advise ur friend?

Why do women leave the best man for the job for monsters....??

I am short of advice for this ur friend, she too annoy me sef....

Women are programmed to like bad boys. Ever heard the saying that " Nice boys get no pushie"

A man with an element of danger is a woman's desire.

1stCitizen:


Women are programmed to like bad boys. Ever heard the saying that " Nice boys get no pushie"

Well, then let her Live her life with her "bad boy"

SAMBARRY:
buy that padlock wen them dey use padlock phenese. It's affordable. Buy it and give it to your friend to give her husband. She should wrap it inside present wrapper and give him. Every one will get the message


option 6 attack the root cause of the problem. The problem is not the man cheating, the problem is the instrument he's using to cheat. When you get that out of the way no problem. Shebi it's because he still has one that is why he's jumping from chidinma to abigail.




pour am acid for the power house let the thing rot away so we will hear word. Even the Bible says only the violent taketh it by force. Pour the acid when he's asleep so before he wakes up to try and redeem what's left e go don go. Maybe he'll still be jumping around again

Madame this your advice ehn oya op"a friend should do the needful

"women are programmed to like bad boys?" really,op? hmm. I beg to disagree with you but I won't expansiate.

As for your friend, she has two options: stay and die or leave and live. She chose that bed,now she has to lie on it. if she chooses to remain in the marriage, she should bear in mind that she's married to everybody's husband, and not hers which means she's heavily at risk of STDs and the like. No respect, no happiness, no peace and no love. Her life on earth go half o. Why some people intentionally choose to remain in an unhappy situation beats me,even when they have options to leave.

Jah save me and mine from destructive relationships and people.

Dear friend,
I must sympathize with you on this rather unfortunate scenario. Its so terrible to hear news especially when it has to do with young people. Friend, may I say that Nairaland might not be the best place to get candid advise on pertinent life issues as this.( though, there might be some quite useful tips) I think you should approach a more matured person that has age long experience. I have never believed in divorce for any reason ( after all, it is a personal decision to get married and only death can terminate it!) I really feel for your friend and I must commend you for being so concerned about her, that's the attitude of a good friend. Meanwhile, I think the best I can do for your friend is to pray for her. This should be part of life simple lessons to our fellow young folks out there, not all that glitters is gold. be watchful and of course, prayerful!
cheers.

Your friend needs to seriously evaluate whether she thinks the marriage is worth saving or not. What her husband is doing is morally reprehensible, and, were I in her shoes, I would get the ball rolling on my divorce immediately. But I'm sure he has redeeming qualities that we don't know about, or why would she have married him? She should sit down, take stock of her marriage, and come to a determination whether the struggle to fix everything wrong in her marriage will be worthwhile.

SAMBARRY:
buy that padlock wen them dey use padlock phenese. It's affordable. Buy it and give it to your friend to give her husband. She should wrap it inside present wrapper and give him. Every one will get the message
option 6 attack the root cause of the problem. The problem is not the man cheating, the problem is the instrument he's using to cheat. When you get that out of the way no problem. Shebi it's because he still has one that is why he's jumping from chidinma to abigail.
pour am acid for the power house let the thing rot away so we will hear word. Even the Bible says only the violent taketh it by force. Pour the acid when he's asleep so before he wakes up to try and redeem what's left e go don go. Maybe he'll still be jumping around again

Your advice stinks and so do you!
@Op ask your friend to get a Job first if she doesn't have any. Then let her go out and make decent male friends that will chat her up too! When the husband is doing his own calls in the sitting room, she should do hers in the bedroom. The whole Idea is to make him jealous and worried too.
She should stop asking him about his escapades and looking sad. She should dress very nice some evenings and tell the husband she wants to hang out with friends.
If she acts her part well the man will panic and seek for redress.

another fellow alagbere

dinachi:

Your advice stinks and so do you!
@Op ask your friend to get a Job first if she doesn't have any. Then let her go out and make decent male friends that will chat her up too! When the husband is doing his own calls in the sitting room, she should do hers in the bedroom. The whole Idea is to make him jealous and worried too.
She should stop asking him about his escapades and looking sad. She should dress very nice some evenings and tell the husband she wants to hang out with friends.
If she acts her part well the man will panic and seek for redress.

I was in same boat some months back. It wasn't easy but u just av to do things that will make u happy. Make friends both single and married. Go out and have fun. Men r selfish people. Cheaters are difficult to change.just try n be happy for you sake

So your friend didn't know her hubby is a serial cheat before she married him?

Tell your friend to get out of that marriage, there's no point giving a treasure to an animal that doesn't know the value. Let her get out and leave him with his mistresses, he end up with regret later.

Start saving like crazzy.. He wont change unless for God.. Experiencing such

kill him and get yourself a sweet boyfriend.

Milla247:
Start saving like crazzy.. He wont change unless for God.. Experiencing such

hmmn

I'm beginning to believe all men are cheats (except me). Have you considered getting a boyfriend?

Onoda wan don come o!
A "friend" crying for another "friend" thread!
When are all these "friends" gonna catch their own spouse, so we can read their own matrimonial woes online?

Den not dry taya to play counselor ni?

SAMBARRY:
buy that padlock wen them dey use padlock phenese. It's affordable. Buy it and give it to your friend to give her husband. She should wrap it inside present wrapper and give him. Every one will get the message


option 6 attack the root cause of the problem. The problem is not the man cheating, the problem is the instrument he's using to cheat. When you get that out of the way no problem. Shebi it's because he still has one that is why he's jumping from chidinma to abigail.




pour am acid for the power house let the thing rot away so we will hear word. Even the Bible says only the violent taketh it by force. Pour the acid when he's asleep so before he wakes up to try and redeem what's left e go don go. Maybe he'll still be jumping around again

This girl is so funny

SAMBARRY:
buy that padlock wen them dey use padlock phenese. It's affordable. Buy it and give it to your friend to give her husband. She should wrap it inside present wrapper and give him. Every one will get the message


option 6 attack the root cause of the problem. The problem is not the man cheating, the problem is the instrument he's using to cheat. When you get that out of the way no problem. Shebi it's because he still has one that is why he's jumping from chidinma to abigail.




pour am acid for the power house let the thing rot away so we will hear word. Even the Bible says only the violent taketh it by force. Pour the acid when he's asleep so before he wakes up to try and redeem what's left e go don go. Maybe he'll still be jumping around again

Rora ma fa igbo!

Are you sure she is not married to someone I know? Just a month after his wedding he started chatting all the ladies on his contact list(I'm guessing because i still cant understand the guts he had to send to me even after all my bible and repentance based broadcasts on whatsapp). Begging for sex, even promising to give the best sex they will ever have in their life and backing his promises up with a picture of his erect joystick. This human being went as far as saying he has learnt new styles he wants to teach them. He even says it must be raw. Imagine. Raw!!!

veave:
Are you sure she is not married to someone I know? Just a month after his wedding he started chatting all the ladies on his contact list(I'm guessing because i still cant understand the guts he had to send to me even after all my bible and repentance based broadcasts on whatsapp). Begging for sex, even promising to give the best sex they will ever have in their life and backing his promises up with a picture of his erect joystick. This human being went as far as saying he has learnt new styles he wants to teach them. He even says it must be raw. Imagine. Raw!!!

Chei
He may already have AIDS

Ridiculous story. This is no marriage, but an örgy.

She traded her self respect and married him for money. So why is she complainig now? If the "marriage" is choking her, the silly girl should take a walk - especially as they haven't got any kids.

Actually, what is she waiting for?

Sorry o, OP's friend. You unfortunately have entered one chance. My candid advice: Time for some self development. Aquire new skills , do some professional courses to empower yourself. Join some clubs like rotary club, volunteer groups. Keep yourself busy and meet new people. Staying or getting a divorce is really YOUR choice. Just know the pros and cons of either decision. Staying back- he may change and become an angel or even get worse exposing you to sti and hiv, divorce comes with a stigma but you may actually be happier.

EfemenaXY:
Ridiculous story. This is no marriage, but an örgy.

She traded her self respect and married him for money. So why is she complainig now? If the "marriage" is choking her, the silly girl should take a walk - especially as they haven't got any kids.

Actually, what is she waiting for?

I know she didn't do well by listening to me. She doubted how I knew he was a cheat because I was in a different state . But I was protecting the person that told me. Well, I don't tink it's money, she comes from a rich family. I don't want to blame her anymore. I don't support divorce.

mumtobe:


I know she didn't do well by listening to me. She doubted how I knew he was a cheat because I was in a different state . But I was protecting the person that told me. Well, I don't tink it's money, she comes from a rich family. I don't want to blame her anymore. I don't support divorce.

That's not your decision to make. Unless of course, this super story is about you, and not your "friend".

Yeeepaaa! Awwwwwww, I can imagine what your friend is going through. Pls tell her to take her time to read through all related posts for advice...first stop is herself. She should first get her grove back. People tend to walk over door mats! Chai, spend money on herself, look good, find hobbies, get involve in fruitful ventures, let someone else wooo u abi na chase you, don't give him attention, etc. Majority of women in yabaleft have the men in their lives to thank for it. Wetin nau!