Have you found someone who might be a good marriage partner?
If so, how can you tell if that person is right for you?
It’s vital that you look beyond superficial traits. After all, the cutest
girl may not be trustworthy or the most popular boy may not be
morally upright. You want someone you’ll be comfortable with—
someone who truly fits your personality and your goals.
Looking Beyond the Surface
Look at your friend objectively. Be careful, though! You might be
inclined to see only what you want to see. So take your time. Try to
perceive your friend’s true nature.
Many who date don’t look beyond the surface. Instead, they
quickly point to the things they have in common: “We like the same
music.” “We enjoy the same activities.” “We agree on everything!”
However, you need to look beyond superficial traits. You need to
discern “the secret person of the heart.” Rather than focus on how much you agree on things, it might
be more revealing to note what happens when you disagree.
For example, consider the following:
How does this person handle conflict—by insisting on his or her
way, perhaps giving in to “fits of anger” or “abusive speech”?
Or does this person show
reasonableness—a willingness to yield for the sake of peace
when no issue of right or wrong is at stake?
Is the person manipulative, possessive, or jealous? Does he or
she demand to know your every move? “I hear of dating
couples who fight because one person can’t stand that the
other hasn’t constantly ‘checked in,’ ” says Nicole. “I think
that’s a bad sign.”.
How is that one viewed by others? You may want to talk to
those who have known this person for some time, such as
mature ones. That way you will know if he
or she is “well reported on.