This thread is necsessitated by the flurry of "relativistic" comments that riddled this thread (https://www.nairaland.com/2358083/alibaba-blasts-women-expose-boobs#34436042) in which AliBaba the famous Comedian took a swipe at how indecently dressed a lady was which is now commonplace in our society.

You can choose to view the picture of the lady Alibaba took a swipe at which he put up on his facebook page from that thread.

This thread is not meant to be a legilation against what anyone chooses to wear but it is motivated from the need to put in proper perspective the easy flight to relativism on this issue. Simply put, shouting yourself hoarse on the issue of indecent dressing being "relative" doesnt hold water-incongruous!

Below is an excerpt of an article I read sometime back that puts this whole relativism thing in context.

Decent dressing. Such a ‘relative’ term. Is there a rule book? Why does it matter to anyone how I dress? It’s an expression of who I am inside! Times have changed and what worked then is not what it is now. Women and Men should be allowed to wear what they want whether decent or not. Those are just some of the sentiments that I picked up in various online conversations.

Well, ever heard of the phrase Dress How you want to be addressed? Whoever coined the term couldn’t have said it better. It doesn’t just apply to interview/official settings, but social settings as well. Just the way you are what you eat, you are also are what you wear. Just the way you cannot eat a staple meal of burgers and fries and look like Beyonce you cannot expose it all and garner respect like Michelle Obama.

The truth is, there is no meter rule as to what piece of clothing is decent and what isn’t. BUT there are guiding principles to what decency is, of which I think the world seems to be having amnesia on:

So Guiding Principle 1. if you cannot let your child or any child wear it, you shouldn’t either. Just imagine a child in a thigh length dress or low cut top. Can you see the image of the child? Do you like it? Children will only emulate what they see, so if you do not want a young girl or boy picking up after you, then just let it pass.

Decency is relative: True; but may I point out, culturally relative to be precise. What is considered decent in one culture can be considered indecent in another. Let’s have a brief English lesson here shall we:

We shall look at definitions to help us determine this preached aspect of relativity.

Definition of Culture – the beliefs, customs (way of life; norms), arts, etc., of a particular society, group, place, or time: a particular society that has its own beliefs, ways of life, art, etc. : a way of thinking, behaving, or working that exists in a place or organization (such as a business)

Definition of Decent – behaviour that conforms to accepted standards of morality or respectability. synonyms: propriety, decorum, good taste, respectability, dignity, correctness, good form, etiquette; More modesty and propriety; the requirements of accepted or respectable behaviour.

Definition of respect – a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements: synonyms: esteem, regard, high opinion, admiration, reverence, and deference, honour : the state of being admired or respected: due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others. synonyms: due regard, politeness, courtesy, civility, deference

Looking at all three definitions of culture decency and respect (because they all go together), I honestly do not see the term ‘relative’ being used to describe decency. The only relativity in this regard is culture. Scan your environment and ask yourself, what is the general principle and view on decency in my environment?

So Guiding Principle no. 2 is; is my form of dressing an acceptable cultural norm? Is it considered decent in my environment/society? In the western world, anything goes. Even if you want to walk the streets naked, hey, you do you boo (as they would say). People do not seem to be affected by nudity there anyway. But come to Africa, a totally different story. Even if our ancestors walked the face of the earth butt naked, we are not living in their times (note that culture is also defined in the context of time refer to above definition). Their cultural context of decency then, worked well then, so wake up and smell the coffee people; we are in the 21st century, and the roles have reversed. You can curse at me, cry, sulk, unfriend me, and throw tantrums to justify the way you dress by, our ancestors walked naked, so what I’m wearing is pretty ok, but today it isn’t acceptable to parade your goodies to the world. When in Rome, do as the Romans do; think culture. This will save you lots of respect

The morality card

Quite honestly, our society has deteriorated in regards to morality, that I am 100% sure that this paragraph right here may cause enemies. I am not close minded. But I’ve been asking myself since when did good and bad become relative? Does morality also upgrade with the changing times?

Back to class a little bit:

Definition of Morality- concerned with the principles of right and wrong behaviour and the goodness or badness of human character. synonyms: virtuous, good, righteous, upright, upstanding, high-minded, principled, honourable, honest, just, noble, incorruptible, scrupulous, respectable, decent, (notice the same terms defined in the last paragraph are used to define morality) clean-living, law-abiding; concerned with or derived from the code of interpersonal behaviour that is considered right or acceptable in a particular society (refer to culture again). synonyms: moral code, code of ethics, (moral) values, principles, standards, (sense of) morality, scruples

Guiding principle no.3 – does my dressing infringe on the morality standard of the society I leave in? Morality has decayed, so let us refer back to what was considered right and wrong from our African culture. If you are a bible practising Christian, the bible has very clear guidelines on how to conduct yourself (including what you wear). You are first a Christian, then African. What more guidance on morality do you need? If you want to base it on other religions, what is the guiding principle in that religion concerning decent dressing?

Ladies and gentlemen by all means, do express yourself and your personality. It’s exactly why I said you are what you wear. Sex Workers dress in a specific manner (that we all know and I do not need to further elaborate), because of the nature of work that they do. So if you are not one, why emulate them.

Guideline 4 (specifically for the ladies) – ask yourself, If I was single (or if you still are, and are hoping to settle down in a serious relationship) and a man saw me and the way I dressed, would I be considered wife material? If you are not sure of this answer, ask the men in your lives what they consider to be wife material and refer to my post ‘Average girls finish First’

You want to be respected by the people around you, dress like you deserve the respect. How you dress speaks volumes on you, and depicts a certain Image to the rest of the world. How you dress is like looking into a mirror; just as you get a reflection of what you put in front of the mirror, so will society address you by how you choose to cover your skin.

I’m not imposing my beliefs on any one. Everyone has a right to do what they want. Everyone has a right to personal expression. However, 1+1=2 not 11; A mango tree only produces mangoes not banana’s; ALL actions and choices on expression have consequences, and will be subject to the societal norm that you live in; Your image is a powerful tool that can either make you or break you; your image is a reflection of who you are inside. So stop sending out the wrong message. Therefore believe it or not, you will be addressed by how you dress.


Definitions: Courtesy of Google and Merriam Webster Dictionary.

cc: pinkiedearie, adeaks, sarahatuba, HumbledbyGrace, FrancisTony, kingstylo01, Abugab, 6ty6ix, ogdada, Dominionng, snowflake002

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