How does one deal with a disobedient wife?
Friday, February 20, 2009
How does one deal with a disobedient wife? Is there any dua? Can one divorce his wife if she’s absolutely disobedient?


• The Amir Aoliyahi-llahi Islamic Soceity, Alhaji Leke Shittu-Bulala (left) interacting with the CEO of Loofemsah, Alhaji Lookman Femi Saheed at the Fidau prayer for the late Sheikh Muhamadu Awwal Abdullahi Otolorin (Omupo) at the Tafawa Balewa Square, Onikan, Lagos recently. PHOTO: MOSHOOD RAJI



When you query on disobedient wife, it would be advisable to clarify your statement of ‘disobedient wife’ – whether in terms of Sharia or in terms of extra requests. However, an approach that has earned many men contentment and happiness, which you may in the interim try:

1. Focus your gaze on Allah Ta’ala (the Almighty).

2. Ensure that you are fulfilling your spouses’ rights

3. When you enter your home, you smile and greet and speak pleasant words

Initially, it may take your spouse to adjust wondering at the changes and she may even comment or respond in ways that may upset you. However, focus on all the good she does and has done for you. Hold your irritation, anger and tongue. Be patient and tolerant and also show her love, smiles and kindness. Shower her with gifts, spend quality time with her, help her reduce her tasks, see to her rest, her simple needs and focus on what makes her happy. All solely for the pleasure of Allah Ta’ala even if she does not appreciate it you have not failed.

Your reward with Allah Ta’ala is there, insha Allah. You will see the contentment and other bounties, which many pious men have seen, even if she doesn’t change.

However, on the brighter side, many have changed with this approach with neither a lecture nor shouting. Your example is of paramount importance, your prayers are also important. Also it is beneficial to read after every Fardh Salaat (obligatory prayer), Rabbanaa hab lanaa min Azwaajinaa qurrata a’ayunin.

Assalaam Alaekum. Hope you are well. My sister has been married for a year now, and ever since the beginning she and her husband have always been in arguments, fights etc. They both have an eight-month-old girl now.

He does not want to move out, meaning my sister lives with his parents, which is the main problem. The mother orders my sister about a lot, to clean the house, cook etc, when she is looking after her own baby at the same time also (her husband is a doctor, meaning he’s only at home during late nights). I would say that’s fair enough as the wife has duties, but that mother also has a daughter of similar age, a son of her own too and she doesn’t get ordered to do anything. The husband himself is a nice guy but when the mum gets mad, she tells him to do bad things, such as one time she ordered him to cut my sister’s hair off, and hit her many times etc.

We called the police at that point so he hasn’t done again, but the mother has thrown my sister out the house now and said she’s not welcome back. My sister is living with us now. Obviously, violence is not the answer, but we are desperately looking for a practical solution. Discussing it with them doesn’t seem to be the answer anymore because problems keep happening over and over, and my own mother is becoming very scared for my sister’s own life.

Jazakallah for writing to seek solution to your sister's marital problems. Many sisters are experiencing the problems you mentioned in their marriages.

It is indeed very discouraging when one reads that a man is prepared to use his muscular and physical strength against a woman who has been given to him as wife by Allah's decree. Nowhere in the teachings and examples of our beloved prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wassallam) have we come across an incident where he beat up or raised his voice against any of his wives. His wives were human and they did err and incur his disapproval. He did not resort to any form of violence against them, be it physical, emotional, financial, psychological or verbal. He left behind him the most excellent examples of how a wife should be treated by her husband.

Allah Ta'ala sent him to this world to teach us how to conduct our lives. Muslim men are expected to, and should, follow his examples in the treatment of their wives. Instead, many Muslim men choose to ape the 'Period of Ignorance' or follow the fashion of being the man who can be most abusive/ most mean to his wife. Concerned people all over the world observe a week of protests and lectures etc, which highlight the plight of abused women and children.

[size=14pt]To be honest, many Muslim men most probably take a top ten position in the "abusers" pole.[/size] [size=14pt]They behave in the most distasteful manner when it comes to the treatment of their wives. They adopt the postures of being the powerful guys who are in control and who can get things done their way by beating up their wives. They do not care nor take heed that when they abuse their wives; they also abuse their little children. These innocent beings suffer a great deal as they watch and hear all, they experience their mother's terror too, no matter how old or young they are.[/size]

Let us take a look at what treatment the wives of Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) received and shared with him during their marriage with him. They lived a life of having domestic help from their husband in their home. He was caring, gentle, supportive, helpful, understanding, tolerant, forgiving, loving, amusing and with the ability to share with them unconditionally.

What do I read in your mail? Your brother-in-law has been given the gift of higher education, knowledge and intelligence but he does not have the ability to use his training to deal with a simple issue in his marriage. He chooses a primitive method to deal with friction between his wife and mother. I am most certain that he did learn some psychology during his training as a doctor. He has either not learnt anything from that training or he lacks intelligence to be able to put his knowledge into practice. Human beings are bound to differ and have quarrels now and then. A great deal of effort is needed on all sides to deal with problems in an equitable way.

No single person can always be right and the other person always wrong. A man has to obey his mother only as far as her instructions are in keeping with Sharia. If her requests are contrary to Sharia, he should disobey her. I do not think that this man is ignorant of this fact. He is totally out of line in beating up his wife on his mother's orders. This is a sign of weakness and ignorance in his character and his mother will be held accountable for her actions too. A daughter-in-law is not meant to be punished by her mother-in-law. It is expected that a daughter-in-law will respect her husband's mother, that she will assist him in fulfilling his mother's rights over him and that they will live in harmony for the pleasure of Allah Ta'ala. Likewise, the mother-in-law should remember that a daughter-in-law is gift from Allah Ta'ala to her son and as such she should treasure this daughter-in-law because she is Allah Ta'ala's creation too. Hurting a fellow Muslim makes one liable and accountable to Allah Ta'ala.

Brother, you mention that your mother is concerned about your sister's safety. Do not hesitate to call on the police and other related agencies in order to protect her. Any threat against her life or safety is illegal and should be dealt with to the full extent of the law. If Muslim men are not prepared to obey and abide by Allah Ta'ala's laws, then they should face the wrath of the law of the land. If your sister is still prepared to meet with her husband and you fear for her safety then I suggest that you make sure she is always accompanied by one of her brothers.

Allow me to suggest that you consult a learned person, a respected family person or an aalim or imam in your area to help resolve this matter as soon as possible, insha Allah. Your sister and her child are being traumatised and it is not emotionally healthy for them to go on being in this situation. Insha Allah these problems will be dealt with in an amicable way. May Allah Ta'ala guide and protect all married couples. Ameen.

And Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

http://odili.net/news/source/2009/feb/20/515.html

How do you deal with a disobedient husband in Islam?

@St. Funmi: Why don't you marry a muslim man and tame him. Afterall, you like to beat/hit your man alot! Sorry, you like the dominatrix mannerism. There may be a muslim man out there who will calm down for "Funmi!" lol.

You have come again?

Don't you get tired?

@St. Funmi: Why don't you marry a muslim man and tame him. Afterall, you like to beat/hit your man alot! Sorry, you like the dominatrix mannerism. There may be a muslim man out there who will calm down for "Funmi!" lol.

Shebi you dey chase me around but i no gree you. Why not intensify your chase let me see if i can manage you and use you to teach other muslim women how to tame a disobedient muslim man. I promise not to beat you to stupor but i'll definitely show you pepper. Oniranu. 

Subhanallah: Oniranu ke? Wow. I am shocked. I thought you are not a child and probably will have some "morality!" I have never chased you around. For if I did, you would have known the differences between the "fantasy that you are in" and the "Reality I will put you through." I would have came to "Germantown" and snatch you off the rack, like that! It will not take me more than a split second to do it. I am a man in the truest sense of the word.

If you can't say anything without being caustic, like that little girl, then this is my last conversation with you. You must have heard the yoruba statement; O ba takiti ko firi shonle, a de bi ti a fe de!

Subhanallah: Oniranu ke? Wow. I am shocked. I thought you are not a child and probably will have some "morality!" I have never chased you around. For if I did, you would have known the differences between the "fantasy that you are in" and the "Reality I will put you through." I would have came to "Germantown" and snatch you off the rack, like that! It will not take me more than a split second to do it. I am a man in the truest sense of the word.

If you can't say anything without being caustic, like that little girl, then this is my last conversation with you. You must have heard the yoruba statement; O ba takiti ko firi shonle, a de bi ti a fe de!

Come to Germantown now let me chastise you with pepper.

He does not want to move out, meaning my sister lives with his parents, which is the main problem. The mother orders my sister about a lot, to clean the house, cook etc, when she is looking after her own baby at the same time also (her husband is a doctor, meaning he’s only at home during late nights). I would say that’s fair enough as the wife has duties, but that mother also has a daughter of similar age, a son of her own too and she doesn’t get ordered to do anything. The husband himself is a nice guy but when the mum gets mad, she tells him to do bad things, such as one time she ordered him to cut my sister’s hair off, and hit her many times etc.

She should have shined her eyes before getting married to an agbaya. What kind of man gets married and keeps his wife in his parents' home? That is a not a man. She married a boy. Doctor or not.

She should have shined her eyes before getting married to an agbaya. What kind of man gets married and keeps his wife in his parents' home? That is a not a man. She married a boy. Doctor or not.

May be other wives have occupied the available rooms in his home.

God created the Earth
God created Mama
Seek and ye shall find the truth

abi o, getting married in your parents home? that's just some disgusting stuff

I heard some stuff like Husbands are permitted to beat their wives in Islam I dunno if this is true.

Olabowale or someone kindly confirm

@Dayokanu: It is not permissable to beat your wife. Many verses in the Qur'aan speak about the protection and respect for women. However, those who get roused up enough and lose it with their spouses are told to beat them "lightly." This was at the beginning of detoxication. Like when it was allowed that Muslims could drink but must not approach Salah in that state of intoxication. Later the whole alcohol consumption was forbidden.

When you examine this verse, you will understand that it actually prohibits beating women, since in almost all cultures, men are the dominating gender. Hence, men do have the upperhand. The Arabs who were elevated by Islam used to beat, rape and kill their women without recourse.

People like these were gradually elevated by detoxication from harsh outright beat down to the stage of "be considerate" if you beat to the final stage where you and her "are set to be equal in all thing", and warned that as to be in restraint because you are stronger gender.

My wife Zainab is a 6ft tall woman, much younger than me. I was surprised when she said that she hoped I never beat her. I had to tell her that it is not permissable for me to beat anyone, especially the woman I love. Islam restrain hitting the face, even.

However you will find ignorant men beating their women to the point of damaging them. In the same way you find people consuming alcohol. In the same way people indulging in fornication or adultery, etc. All these Islam is against.

When you look for exemplary entities in Islam, you look at Muhammad (AS), then his companions. Then less the next generation. Then less the following generation. In today's islam, you should look at the best of men in belief, good deeds, kindness, etc. Not just those who say they are muslims and their actions are outside Qur'aan and or Sunnah.

However, those who get roused up enough and lose it with their spouses are told to beat them "lightly."

Lmao. O ga for this their "love" sha.

beat lightly? Hehehe ehe ehe .

However, those who get roused up enough and lose it with their spouses are told to beat them "lightly."

What is light beating?

Do you want to know or you just want to mock?

@Spoilt: « #14 on: Today at 03:40:56 AM »

beat lightly? Hehehe ehe ehe .

Hey sis, are you married? If you are not, then the emotion between spouses can't be understand by you. The Boyfriend girlfriend issue, I will use here so that you may understand, just a smigget of what "Love" is and why beat her "lightly" may be a foreign thing to you.

It is a known fact that the caring intensity of "fornication or adultery", boyfriend girlfriend can not be equated to that of which is between husband and wife. If it can, then I wonder why there is a reason for "churching it" or "city halling it", etc in the West, where you live? Everyone knows at the end of the day, girlfriend or boyfriend has no recourse for anything belonging to the "fake partner", since the society does not recognise the relationship.

With the above in mind, regardless of how the 'fake lovebirds' say they love each other, when they get angry with each other, "watch out!" The gloves come out and its all bare knuckles. Often atimes, one of the duelling party is damaged. It is not always the women, since some of the women can be mean and very head strong bent on revenge in anger. When you see a boyfriend furiously 'put the light out' on his "cheating" or "ungrateful, mean, deceitful" girlfriend you will know what am talking about. You live in LA and all the homs/hombre are right around you. You can see them in the hoods or on the Boulevard.


Now, wives are supposed to be spoilt (I found a way to incorporate your ID into the argument). I spoit mine. And as I see it, I have been annoyed more than once in my marital life. If I have no emotional ties of marriage, I am sure I would have let off my anger, if only in speech. So because of marriage, I bite my tongue even as I am annoyed. And definitely I do know that it is not "shariah since Sunnah explains what it is" to hit a spouse. I will come back to this. But I must use some Bambara tribe in Mali's saying about women;

They say; women are mysterious (Muso kawako). They also say that a woman say things that she should be killed for everyday. Yet you have to smile. Now back to the explanation of beating lightly. It is Muhammad (AS) who understands and have the explanations of the verses of the Qur'aan. So our attention must turn to him, to see how he dealt with his spouses. It is his examples that his companions (RA) followed and we who say we believe must follow.

I will therefore use Umar bin Khattab (ra), the first Amir of the believers and the second Kulafah of Muhammad, as my example of "good behavior or how to deal with disobedient wife." During his leadership, a man was having problems with his own wife, so he came to the leader, Umar to report her. He heard Umar's wife voice as he knocked. While he was waiting for the door to open, he heard her saying that the husband is no good. So this believer was quickly walking away from the door, because he did not want to be "the one" that heard the leader being abused by his wfe. But it was too late, because Umar opened the door and asked if there was anything he could do for the man?

The man explained his delimma with his own wife. But stated that when he heard what Umar wife was saying about him, he knew that he had no complaint at all. The Amir Umar Khattab had to tell him that the good quality that the wife has is more than the temporary bad quality she is exhibiting at the time of anger. This is the best way to deal with a wife.

MUhammad (AS) said to the men; Oh believer your wife is made from the "bent part", be gentle with her as you may break what is bent. (Lady, you do agree with the story of creation? Right?). Muhammad (AS) should be the example that should be used in dealing with wives. Afterall, even the Qur'aan says beat her lightly, which you have a big laugh about by your hehe and show me your 32 oh, in the statement of Lagbaja's Feyin ee's song. I do need to remind you that his sunnah is also a revelation. If you look at the way punishment is meterred for adultery: Zina in the Qur'aan, it says flog, and it is in the Ahadeth/Sunnah that you find out that the married people are stoned to death, while the unmarried are flogged 100 lashes! It is also in the Sunnah/ahadith that you have the instructions of washing hands, rinsing of mouth, cleaning of nostrils, and of course washing of bare feet, instead of "wiping it" when making Wudu which you will call ablution.

You will also find in the Qur'aan that when Job got well, he fulfilled his promise by touching his wife with a bunched up 100 stalks or blades of grass, since he had said that he will whip her 100 lashes, because of her annoying continuous request while he was sick. The Allah who made Job fulfill his promise by the touch is the same Allah who used the word lightly later to qualify "beat her!"

Spoilt; how do you define lightly? When it comes to beating a person, lightly gives the meaning of no pain, at least bodily pain. For a man who enjoys his wife to decide to beat her, he must not be doing it out of act of endearment. Remember we are not talking about those people who like it rough, in the choking, strangulation, the black and blue beat me until I pass out bits.

If a man is annoyed and then decides to beat his wife, what has been demostrated in all the Islamic speeches that I have attended where "beat her lightly" is explained amounts to restraint where in the worst case scenarios; a small edge of the cloth is used symbolically to "touch" or even the miswak (chewing stick) in the same manner. I do know for a fact that a woman who has "shame" will feel remorse that a loving husband shows his anger of displeasure on her this way. It will remind her that if it was acceptable for him to beat her, it probably would have been "goodnight Irene!"

For me, and all who fear Allah and following the Prophet (AS), we know that wife beating is not "Islamic." Allah says when a man divorces a woman, he should even restrict himself from doing any evil to her. The Prophet (AS) states that the divorced woman is supposed to be a future wife of another brother (Muslim is brother of one another), hence no one should speak ill of his ex. I don't of my first wife. I respect her, yet she is not even a believer, except she is the mother of my children!


I hope you, Spoilt, will marry a muslim man so that you really can be spoilt. For sure. There is no better man than a Muslim man. Proof is that Islam elevates the humanity of man. He will not put your "light out" in anger, if he is a true believer!

However, those who get roused up enough and lose it with their spouses are told to beat them "lightly."

Then what I heard was right. "Light beating" for a fellow human? So when the men are wrong who carries out the light beating?

Light beating might include a black eye or even decapitation. Light beating on someone of a weaker sex who is weaker physically?

Olabowale If Arnold Schwazeneger or "TRIPLE H" rouses you up too I am sure you can use the "Light beating" too.

Anyone who attacks anyone weaker than himself is a coward and weakling. And deserves to be jailed.

If you must adminster light beating let it be on someone of your size and strenght not on women who are weak and frail and are much younger in most cases.

Spoilt is married with a kid, Ogbeni Alhaji oni epistles

dayokanu:

Then what I heard was right. "Light beating" for a fellow human? So when the men are wrong who carries out the light beating?

Light beating might include a black eye or even decapitation. Light beating on someone of a weaker sex who is weaker physically?

Olabowale If Arnold Schwazeneger or "TRIPLE H" rouses you up too I am sure you can use the "Light beating" too.

Anyone who attacks anyone weaker than himself is a coward and weakling. And deserves to be jailed.

If you must adminster light beating let it be on someone of your size and strenght not on women who are weak and frail and are much younger in most cases.

Hopefully he can answer the bolded question.

Then what I heard was right. "Light beating" for a fellow human? So when the men are wrong who carries out the light beating?

You may wait forever for the answer to your question.

@Dayokanu: « #18 on: Today at 08:28:42 PM »

Then what I heard was right. "Light beating" for a fellow human? So when the men are wrong who carries out the light beating?

Dayokanu, you must be a regular comedian. You live in the US, right? All the wife beatings here in Obodo Amerika is by Muslim husbands? You want to play dumb? I know how to wake you up! I live here, too. I am in the islamic communities. Almost all my friends are muslims.

None of them have ever beat his wife or wives. Nigerians, Africans, non-africans and whites husbands included. Lie to the Nigerians in Mother Afrika. Not Olabowale. I know what time it is, man. You are fronting as if Christian men in Amerika or 9ja don't put out the lights of their wives. I have been around the blocks, man.

Light beating might include a black eye or even decapitation. Light beating on someone of a weaker sex who is weaker physically?

Dayokanu, se you get wife? Nooooo! If you do, you will know that light means light. A culture of anger that is subsided without the hitting or hurting is "light". In the case of my bride(s) the worst I have done is to yell; "stop it!" Then I am guilty, but happy that that is my light beating! What do you do when your wife (which don't have anyway; am just playing with you) upset you and said you aint no good? They say "hell has no fury like the woman scorned!" You heard before man? Luke here, luke here man, ask the muslim black man in your town; they will tell you that they have waxed "well and couth" for it by Islam!

Olabowale If Arnold Schwazeneger or "TRIPLE H" rouses you up too I am sure you can use the "Light beating" too.

Those are men, man. My yoruba culture tamed me enough to know that I should not play russian roullette with a full chamber because the card is stacked against me. Now, Islam even give me a better guideline to be gentle with them, in their ignorance. You remember the yoruba adage; Ti owo omo o ba kaa eku ida, ko gbodo bere iku to pa baba e!" However, since I depend on Allah for my Victory, if I am "aroused or wind up to get upset with them, since they are no spouse of mine," I can say "asbiya lahu wani amal wakil. Wa laula wa lakuwata ilabilla aliu li azheem, Allahu Akbar!" My brother if they are evil doer and have done me wrong; if i strike them, it will be Allah who strikes!

But let leave that alone, because your faith can't "touch this!"

Anyone who attacks anyone weaker than himself is a coward and weakling. And deserves to be jailed.

lol. You are a piece of work. I wonder if you knew that, when islam says "lightly", and we the Muslims tell you that it does not not mean "hurt, pain or black eye or Spiked heel (lol) on her neck, you didn't believe! Aburo, which one you dey!

If you must adminster light beating let it be on someone of your size and strenght not on women who are weak and frail and are much younger in most cases.

Enu okuro ki seje o! Iwo to ma fee gbemi obinrin no. Oh boy let me hear word! It is only Islam that gives directive not to "damage, hurt or unjust" to woman. Where is it in the Christian or jewish Bible? A bachelor can't educate anyone about marriage.

Obinrin ti o loko o mo adun okunrin. How can "solo" people know what "combination of items is?" Emi nsoro Oko ati iyawo fun e, O nja mi nyon!

Dayokanu, you must be a regular comedian. You live in the US, right? All the wife beatings here in Obodo Amerika is by Muslim husbands? You want to play dumb? I know how to wake you up! I live here, too. I am in the islamic communities. Almost all my friends are muslims.
None of them have ever beat his wife or wives. Nigerians, Africans, non-africans and whites husbands included. Lie to the Nigerians in Mother Afrika. Not Olabowale. I know what time it is, man. You are fronting as if Christian men in Amerika or 9ja don't put out the lights of their wives. I have been around the blocks, man

People beat wives does not mean they are given the right to.
People steal Yes. Are they allowed to by any law or religion? NO.

Islam gives right to administer "Light beating" YES If the law allows it then what else can we say.

Dayokanu, se you get wife? Nooooo! If you do, you will know that light means light. A culture of anger that is subsided without the hitting or hurting is "light". In the case of my bride(s) the worst I have done is to yell; "stop it!" Then I am guilty, but happy that that is my light beating! What do you do when your wife (which don't have anyway; am just playing with you) upset you and said you aint no good? They say "hell has no fury like the woman scorned!" You heard before man? Luke here, luke here man, ask the muslim black man in your town; they will tell you that they have waxed "well and couth" for it by Islam!

If my wife upsets me sooo bad, I would walk out and drive out and not come back for hours till my anger has subsided.

If your wife upsets you and you administer "Light beating" Do you know of 911 and "Violence against women act". Aside laws, it even shows bad upbringing beating a woman. My younger sister upset me soo bad several times and the worst thing I did to her was to throw a Live chicken at her. That was when I was 12 years and she was 9. I was scolded badly for that act self.

Those are men, man. My yoruba culture tamed me enough to know that I should not play russian roullette with a full chamber because the card is stacked against me. Now, Islam even give me a better guideline to be gentle with them, in their ignorance. You remember the yoruba adage; Ti owo omo o ba kaa eku ida, ko gbodo bere iku to pa baba e!" However, since I depend on Allah for my Victory, if I am "aroused or wind up to get upset with them, since they are no spouse of mine," I can say "asbiya lahu wani amal wakil. Wa laula wa lakuwata ilabilla aliu li azheem, Allahu Akbar!" My brother if they are evil doer and have done me wrong; if i strike them, it will be Allah who strikes!

But let leave that alone, because your faith can't "touch this

You are not mad enough to hit Arnold Schwazeneger but roused enough to hit a defenceless spouse. What do you call that? You can control your anger against men but not against your wife? Because the cards are in your favour with your wife you can beat her up.

You are a piece of work. I wonder if you knew that, when islam says "lightly", and we the Muslims tell you that it does not not mean "hurt, pain or black eye or Spiked heel (lol) on her neck, you didn't believe! Aburo, which one you dey!

Lightly as in How many blows or how many strokes of cane or is it belt or cutlass, electric cables or Gas chamber

Enu okuro ki seje o! Iwo to ma fee gbemi obinrin no. Oh boy let me hear word! It is only Islam that gives directive not to "damage, hurt or unjust" to woman. Where is it in the Christian or jewish Bible? A bachelor can't educate anyone about marriage.
Obinrin ti o loko o mo adun okunrin. How can "solo" people know what "combination of items is?" Emi nsoro Oko ati iyawo fun e, O nja mi nyon!

Alagba Olabowale e ye ma pe aja ni obo fun wa, Ohun ti ko da ko ni oruko meji Koda ni.

Do I have to be in Belgium to know its Illegal to kill in Belgium? Some things are universal laws. So I have to be married to know its criminal to beat a woman.
You finish beating her and later in the the evening hump her? Na wa o.

@Dayokanu: « #22 on: Today at 03:10:18 AM »

People beat wives does not mean they are given the right to.
People steal Yes. Are they allowed to by any law or religion? NO.

so if thats the case, whats you beef when we said "light" you seem to say that somebody is covering up something? Now tell me is Chris (the Musician) who gave Music Diva "Rihanna" the actual black eyes, muslim? have you seen is Bling Bling Cross? You know muslims don't wear bling. Yes?

Islam gives right to administer "Light beating" YES If the law allows it then what else can we say.

We both live in Yankee. If you my friend, you would have known that I don't raise my hand to a woman. And it is not because that I am a yoruba or black. But for sure because I am a muslim! I asked you to get in touch with a muslim man in your town and learn about the love and respect "Islam" commands a man have for his wife!

Unlike "turn the other cheek," which is impossible in reality, Islam says "beat lightly" and this is demostrated by loving acts of Muhammad (AS) and the gentility of Umar (Sheriff; the gentle giant) Khattab and the knowledgeable believers who have developed the culture of "expressing displeasure" by gesture without ever hitting their spouses, you are still in doubt? I could have let you talked to my women and learn "how genuine" our love intensities are. Love does not have to hurt and thats why "light" is the expression of anger/beat since we are sincerely human.



[Quote]
If my wife upsets me sooo bad, I would walk out and drive out and not come back for hours till my anger has subsided.
[/quote]

Unlike you who is allowed to go "hang out at Watering holes," we in Islam do not abandone our spouses. We have to let her know where we are. When a lover does not see each other for many hours and dont know where the one who is out of the house is, for hours, many thoughts will run though the minds. Shaitan may suggest all kinda evilness. Though untrue, and this is why we don't go out of the house and wonder around while keeping the wife in the dark, not knowing what happen to us for hours. Maybe you run to the arm of another woman, girlfriend, but not for muslim men.

If your wife upsets you and you administer "Light beating" Do you know of 911 and "Violence against women act". Aside laws, it even shows bad upbringing beating a woman. My younger sister upset me soo bad several times and the worst thing I did to her was to throw a Live chicken at her. That was when I was 12 years and she was 9. I was scolded badly for that act self.

And since no 911 have been called on me, ever, this shows you that my "light beating" is yelling or gesturing of displeasure. Man, real man wear beard and don't beat his wife/wives! While you have shown anger at 9, my women; mother, sisters, nieces, cousins and yes my wives do not have my hands on them.



[Quote]
You are not mad enough to hit Arnold Schwazeneger but roused enough to hit a defenceless spouse. What do you call that? You can control your anger against men but not against your wife? Because the cards are in your favour with your wife you can beat her up.
[/quote]

Read my post, above, again. There is no place that I said that I hit a woman. I remember when my second child, Oladunwo was about 2+. I used to take him to my office. So you can see that there was a great bond between he and I. I remember one time that I had to show that I was displeased with him, by just raising my hand. He started crying and felt ashamed. Have you experienced letting somebody feel sad without ever hitting him/her? This is what happens when lover "beat lightly", without striking his spouse. But there are some women now who think that they can beat men and they don't do the beating of their "man; boooo" lightly. They leave scars on him.

We in Islam don't do that. Seriously. A muslim who follows the Sharia and Sunnah will never do any hitting of his wife!



[Quote]
Lightly as in How many blows or how many strokes of cane or is it belt or cutlass, electric cables or Gas chamber
[/quote]

Lol. Dayo, you are funny. Iyawo e keron. Anu omo no shemi. Temi she Olorun. No wife of mine is ever going to be beaten. I leave the kinky stuff to you, Mr. Christian man! If you welch her, you have to deal with broken skin and damaged goods, later.



[Quote]
Alagba Olabowale e ye ma pe aja ni obo fun wa, Ohun ti ko da ko ni oruko meji Koda ni.
[/quote]

I am sure you know that the Yorubas even say ti nba laya tio loyaya akeru e jade. When you can show me a muslim who beat his wife, I will list many christians who give wife black eyes. Heck "black eyes" is Oyinbo invention.

Do I have to be in Belgium to know its Illegal to kill in Belgium? Some things are universal laws. So I have to be married to know its criminal to beat a woman.
You finish beating her and later in the the evening hump her? Na wa o.

Sex is not meant for evenings, alone. Its good anytime.
Listen man, when Islam says we dont beat women, in the same manner that we don't consume alcohol, then believe it. If you don't I can't believe your impossible "turn the other cheek", too. Of course, you know if Arrnoold hit you hard, you will be foolish to turn the other cheek. Thats the height of foolishness and if a person dies for being beat down because of it, then tough.

Ogbeni; bawo mi? She south ndun? take care.

And since no 911 have been called on me, ever, this shows you that my "light beating" is yelling or gesturing of displeasure. Man, real man wear beard and don't beat his wife/wives! While you have shown anger at 9, my women; mother, sisters, nieces, cousins and yes my wives do not have my hands on them.

Why is the story different among Arabs living in the Arab world that is supposed to be the spiritual capital of Islam?

@Dayokanu:

Then what I heard was right. "Light beating" for a fellow human? So when the men are wrong who carries out the light beating?

And I forgot about your men being beating "lightly" when they "wrong." As you can see, different strokes for different strokes. Even on Nairaland, you have dominatrix (lol) who likes to chastise her man with pepper. We have also a talker and she knows who she is, since she can talk up a storm. Between these brands of women, i guess if a man is married to either group, and he is a woosey, I will not be surprised if you hear a grown man bawling like a child.

They say some like it hot. However that will not work for almost all muslim man. If my wife gives me the same light beating (yelling) that I give her, am okay with it. As the yorubas will say; Ojo gbogbo ko lodun. Sugbon orirere lo je faya to ba mo ke oko o.

Spinsters in the house (and you know who you are since you should have been married at least a decade or so ago) get married woman and leave a boo who can't commit to his own spit or shadow! Is not always about Benjamin.

olabowale:

@Dayokanu:
And I forgot about your men being beating "lightly" when they "wrong." As you can see, different strokes for different strokes. Even on Nairaland, you have dominatrix (lol) who likes to chastise her man with pepper. We have also a talker and she knows who she is, since she can talk up a storm. Between these brands of women, i guess if a man is married to either group, and he is a woosey, I will not be surprised if you hear a grown man bawling like a child.

They say some like it hot. However that will not work for almost all muslim man. If my wife gives me the same light beating (yelling) that I give her, am okay with it. As the yorubas will say; Ojo gbogbo ko lodun. Sugbon orirere lo je faya to ba mo ke oko o.

Spinsters in the house (and you know who you are since you should have been married at least a decade or so ago) get married woman and leave a boo who can't commit to his own spit or shadow! Is not always about Benjamin.

when was the last time you beat the wife mr olabs?

Maybe if you had read what he posted , instead of jumping to ask a silly question you would have known that he does not hit his wife.

when was the last time you beat the wife mr olabs?

Muslims should blacklist the following  people:

Funmi
JJYOU
David
KaramaMod
Osisi

They always like to put their fingers in your eyes especially olabowole's eyes.

Muslims should blacklist the following people:

Funmi
JJYOU
David
KaramaMod
Osisi

They always like to put their fingers in your eyes especially olabowole's eyes.

Thanks for the post. It would have been better if its putting fingers in eyes but not going personal. I dont post in some threads created by some as they are not here to learn but to create mischief. I respect Olabowale for his patience. Respect is reciprocal. I cant imagine imagine someone going into private life of another in the guise of asking question.

Also I read someone asking what a wife should do to a disobedient husband. I think think the person should ask himself or herself if he could reply if his/her father dealt with hi/her. If the answer is YES, then the person could go on to deal with her disobedient husband. I wouldnt know why those that called themselves christians ask that question when there are verses telling on the superiority of man to woman, being the head,wife subjected to thier control etc.

Also I read someone asking what a wife should do to a disobedient husband. I think think the person should ask himself or herself if he could reply if his/her father dealt with hi/her. If the answer is YES, then the person could go on to deal with her disobedient husband. I wouldnt know why those that called themselves christians ask that question when there are verses telling on the superiority of man to woman, being the head,wife subjected to thier control etc

The person is Funmi and no, my father and my husband are not the same because I sleep with one while the other is a blood relation. My husband and I are also equal and one but the case is different with my father. It's 50/50 with my husband but not the same with my dad besides, my dad has no control over me now.

Sincerely, what did Islam say about disobedient husbands and how to deal with them?.

Muslims should blacklist the following  people:

Funmi
JJYOU
David
KaramaMod
Osisi

They always like to put their fingers in your eyes especially olabowole's eyes.

Muslim lover!; who knows what they used to bribe you over?. Traitor!. Is Olabowale marrying your relation?. Is it evil minded OYB?. I am sincerely sorry and weep for her.