In my code journeys and programming adventures I’ve encountered many strange foes, and even stranger allies. I’ve identified at least five different kinds of code warriors, some make for wonderful comrades in arms, while others seem to foil my every plan.

However they all have their place in the pantheon of software development. Without a healthy mix of these different programming styles you’ll probably find your projects either take too long to complete, are not stable enough or are too perfect for humans to look upon.

1. The duct tape programmer

Duct Tape - The code may not be pretty, but damnit, it works!

This guy is the foundation of your company. When something goes wrong he will fix it fast and in a way that won’t break again. Of course he doesn’t care about how it looks, ease of use, or any of those other trivial concerns, but he will make it happen, without a bunch of talk or time-wasting nonsense. The best way to use this person is to point at a problem and walk away.

2. The OCD perfectionist programmer

Perfectionist - You want to do what to my code?

This guy cares about your deadlines or budgets, those are insignificant when compared to the art form that is programming. When you do finally receive the finished product you will have no option but submit to the stunning glory and radiant beauty of perfectly formatted, no, perfectly beautiful code, that is so efficient that anything you would want to do to it would do nothing but defame a masterpiece. He is the only one qualified to work on his code.

3. The anti-programming programmer

Anti-Programming - I’m a programmer, damnit. I don’t write code.

His world has one simple truth; writing code is bad. If you have to write something then you’re doing it wrong. Someone else has already done the work so just use their code. He will tell you how much faster this development practice is, even though he takes as long or longer than the other programmers. But when you get the project it will only be 20 lines of actual code and will be very easy to read. It may not be very fast, efficient, or forward-compatible, but it will be done with the least effort required.

4. The half-assed programmer

Half-assed - What do you want? It works doesn’t it?

The guy who couldn’t care less about quality, that’s someone Else's job. He accomplishes the tasks that he’s asked to do, quickly. You may not like his work, the other programmers hate it, but management and the clients love it. As much pain as he will cause you in the future, he is single-handedly keeping your deadlines so you can’t scoff at it (no matter how much you want to).

5. The theoretical programmer

Theoretical - Well, that’s a possibility, but in practice this might be a better alternative.

This guy is more interested the options than what should be done. He will spend 80% of his time staring blankly at his computer thinking up ways to accomplish a task, 15% of his time complaining about unreasonable deadlines, 4% of his time refining the options, and 1% of his time writing code. When you receive the final work it will always be accompanied by the phrase “if I had more time I could have done this the right way”.

Where do you fit?

Personally, I’d have to classify myself as the perfectionist. So, which type of programmer are you? Or perhaps you know another programming archetype that is missing from my list? Post a comment below.

Hmmm.... na wa o. What category does Mark Zuckerberg belong to ?

g

vislabraye:
Hmmm.... na wa o. What category does Mark Zuckerberg belong to ?

Question for the gods.

think am in the duct tape category. but a few books have got me touching up codes more often than I used to these days

@op, source please?

I am the theoretical.
after composing complex algorithm and encapsulating it into a class or function, I end up dumping that code saying to myself: does this realy solve a problem.
but when I have deadlines I try so hard not to revisit my code so as to save time and in order to reduce the scope of the project. I will rather modify the current script if possible to work with the othets.
I was a duct tape.
but reading much of these programming books and blogs can change how u reason if u read it the way the authors want you to read it.

i think am
The anti-programming programmer Anti-Programming - I’m a programmer, damnit. I don’t write code. His world has one simple truth; writing code is bad. If you have to write something then you’re doing it wrong. Someone else has already done the work so just use their code. He will tell you how much faster this development practice is, even though he takes as long or longer than the other programmers. But when you get the project it will only be 20 lines of actual code and will be very easy to read. It may not be very fast, efficient, or forward- compatible, but it will be done with the least effort required.


ishilove do d needful for dis post

Me i belong to an unmentioned category called #TROLL PROGRAMMERS# - we work on every gaddem platform - web, pc, mac, cloud, android, ios, everything so long as we make GODDAMN MONEY! We dont even care whether we sabi the language or not, we just jump in, get the job done and walk out.

dhtml18:
Me i belong to an unmentioned category called #TROLL PROGRAMMERS# - we work on every gaddem platform - web, pc, mac, cloud, android, ios, everything so long as we make GODDAMN MONEY! We dont even care whether we sabi the language or not, we just jump in, get the job done and walk out.

how do you get the job done without sabi-ing the language, i fear o

Knownpal:


how do you get the job done without sabi-ing the language, i fear o

This is one of the reasons people always dey call me warri boy (i know dey carry last at all). I cannot be leaking my trade secrets in the public.

dhtml18:


This is one of the reasons people always dey call me warri boy (i know dey carry last at all). I cannot be leaking my trade secrets in the public.

Okay oo

Always speaking in codes.

dhtml18:
Me i belong to an unmentioned category called #TROLL PROGRAMMERS# - we work on every gaddem platform - web, pc, mac, cloud, android, ios, everything so long as we make GODDAMN MONEY! We dont even care whether we sabi the language or not, we just jump in, get the job done and walk out.

I work on a handful of platforms too...well all the platforms mentioned, save for IOS. Unfortunately, the money part aint happening yet. How does that even happen, bro? I know you are good at this code thing. Are you permanently employed or what? Your advise will be valuable not just to me, but to a lot of people reading this.

^^^I am self-employed. What I did that made me to become fairly popular was to do state-of-the-art-jobs for small price at the beginning of my career. That exposed me to a lot of important clients, and when demand is higher, I increased my price.
Now that I have gone into mobile apps, I have started the same thing again in the mobile app world - by the time I have a small handful of fantastic jobs - I will step up my pricing, but not before (because people know me more as a web guy and not mobile app).

lalasticlala:
*

Na the source be this:
http://stevenbenner.com/2010/07/the-5-types-of-programmers/

dhtml18:
Me i belong to an unmentioned category called #TROLL PROGRAMMERS# - we work on every gaddem platform - web, pc, mac, cloud, android, ios, everything so long as we make GODDAMN MONEY! We dont even care whether we sabi the language or not, we just jump in, get the job done and walk out.

this guy sef

dhtml18:
Me i belong to an unmentioned category called #TROLL PROGRAMMERS# - we work on every gaddem platform - web, pc, mac, cloud, android, ios, everything so long as we make GODDAMN MONEY! We dont even care whether we sabi the language or not, we just jump in, get the job done and walk out.

I hope you're not jack of all trades master of none. Just having an idea of the platform but now knowing the details. Strong projects will come that will shake you and test your depth!!!

I'm definitely a duct tape programmer. Along with anti-programming programmer. definitely.

I've been able to get away with it for a long time anyway.

damilareogunz:


I hope you're not jack of all trades master of none. Just having an idea of the platform but now knowing the details. Strong projects will come that will shake you and test your depth!!!

then just don't do those projects.

seriously though, it's all about the risk vs the reward. if you offer me a million naira, you can be damn well sure I will master the platform.

damilareogunz:


I hope you're not jack of all trades master of none. Just having an idea of the platform but now knowing the details. Strong projects will come that will shake you and test your depth!!!

Hahahaha, if only you but know. . . .that depth has been tested many times and I am not yet shaken.

Teempakguy:
then just don't do those projects.

seriously though, it's all about the risk vs the reward. if you offer me a million naira, you can be damn well sure I will master the platform.

Nice sha.. I believe you !

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