I have this dear friend who lies so much both he and his wife believe the lies. Now he's mad at me for "not being there" for him when needed - he called me at work to go help him check on his family cos he had to dash outta town and he's been calling them without any reponse. I was at work and had to go pick up my son so I couldnt drive like 17miles to his house and be back in time. So now he says I dont care about him.

The problem is he's done it b4 - last yr, he called me and said I should go help him pay his speed ticket cos he was out of town and had forgotten the stuff was due on that day. I saw him driving to work on that day!! so I just made up an excuse and he said he'll find someone else to do it for him - the truth his I dont even think he had a speed ticket to pay. just one of his lies.

He lies about stupid stuff even in front of his wife and the pretty thing plays along, and I'm talking about lies not are not even necessary at all. This is a guy doing very well for himself. I guess his lies make him feel bigger than necessary (or he feels he's always in a competition) but to me, they are lies that do not make sense. like he knows all the naija governors intimately . . or his wife is the sultan's niece . . . or he discovered he had cross -eyes in a miami pilot school and that's why he cant fulful his dream - stupid lies like that, forgetting he's told you something completely different two yrs ago! He'll get you a gift and tell you he paid $500 for it (why bother to let you know if it is a gift) but still give you the receipt that shows $85?? endless lies to everyone around him!

Now I wondering if I should let him know I simply dont believe anything that he says even if theyre true so he doesnt keep feeling i aint there for him in times of need . . . but I just dont want to blow his bubble, cos the lies might actually have been what's been keeping him alive till now! I also dont want to jeopardise our friendship, cos he has a good heart. You know what our elders say - a bad child has his good days.

Should I let him know about his endless lies to the entire world, or just keep on turning deaf ears. and in case I should let him know, how do I go about it?

Thanks my brother.

Even if he knows how to tell the truth, I dont know WHEN he's being sincere. I really wish I can tell his truth from the lies

You know why it's hard? he's almost 40!

take him out to a smoothie joint not beer . a good banana and strawberry with vita cube in it relaxes the nerves. then after a few sips, tell him how you are feeling abt his not being truthful to you in a nice way. let him know you care so much abt your friendship and want him to be honest with you.

Why can't you just gradually wean him off you and then cut him off

Honestly, I do not want to.

Like I mentioned earlier, he has a good heart. How do I put this? you know like when you have to pass through a hood . . like lagos island and you scared but then there's a friend that can walk with you and you wont be scared cos he's cool with all the thugs there?? yea, that kinda friend. He'll also get you the hook-ups you need, whether good or bad. He can get what you need by hook or crook.

Thugs / area boys are bad but they also have good purposes.

kokoye:

Honestly, I do not want to.

Like I mentioned earlier, he has a good heart. How do I put this? you know like when you have to pass through a hood . . like lagos island and you scared but then there's a friend that can walk with you and you wont be scared cos he's cool with all the thugs there?? yea, that kinda friend. He'll also get you the hook-ups you need, whether good or bad. He can get what you need by hook or crook.

Thugs / area boys are bad but they also have good purposes.

Well then, since he is a friend-with-benefit, you just have to take the bitter with the sweet, abi

I have friends like that too, but their need to lie every minute, don't bother me one bit

I feel you.

The only reason I brought this up is when he asks me for a favor and I politely turn him down cos I think he's lying (like he's done b4 several times), he starts going on about how i'm a fair-weather friend.

since you want to keep the friendship, talk to him. you will have to lie too to turn him down you know, aha! the circle continua

trudat

I really question your friendship with the guy, hope you are not jealous or that you wanna use system take his wife?
1. If you so much care for him and you know what he is doing is so wrong, you dont sound like a type that need the world wide web's advice to know what is wrong from right and you woul dhave been to tell him str8 up.

2. you comment of "the pretty thing" shows some signs.

However, talk to him and tell him u love him, but hate his lies, but dont play pranks with "the pretty thing"

i agree with the last writer