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Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by peeparty(m): 5:47pm On Jul 04, 2015
bruva tk your time and get closer the more to God, He will give you direction.
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by 400billionman: 5:50pm On Jul 04, 2015
Jayne2014:

Hello

I was thinking what would be happening this new half of the year.
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by thorpido(m): 5:51pm On Jul 04, 2015
The people above have said it all.Heartbreaks are hard to take but time makes the pain ease off.
You're just 30yrs.Don't get desperate.Guys like to take advantage of much older girls because they know they want to settle down.
Just occupy yourself.Pick up a hobby apart from your work.If you worship in a church,you could join a dept so you are busier and at the same time can enjoy fellowship with some people.
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by MizMyColi(f): 5:52pm On Jul 04, 2015
dearpreye:

I'm so so sorry for your heartbreaking break - up. Emotional traumas aren't always easy to bear.
Actually, you lose nothing being responsible. It's so sad that bad things actually happen to good people. That's the crazy world we're in. Shot happens.
I'll suggest you take it easy on yourself. Follow the good comments posted here. Take it all easy. Time will heal all your hurt. That I'm sure.
When we lose good things, better ones just come by.
Life isn't fair. Things aren't cast in stones.
For now, engage in things that can distract you. Please. Be engaged. An idle mind is a formidable tool in the hands of the destroyer. Be occupied.
There's nothing wrong with you. When people walk away from your life, let it go. It doesn't mean they're bad people. It may not mean you're bad either. It may just mean their part in the story is over. Let it go.
Thank God for the better one coming ahead. Be grateful. Nothing lifts a soul than sincere gratitude.
I hope these few words will help?
You may mention MizMyColi!!!!

Chubhie:

I will tell you where to start. Eat some healthy balanced meals, make a habit of hitting early morning jog-6am to 6:30 and shower once you get back. Learn to appreciate good music, dress smart and smell sweet. You may need to demolish all you've become till now and recreate yourself to be the person you wish to met.
Above all, you need to be anchored spiritually. Find what works for you- islam,jewish,Christianity,Buddha,new age etc. Learn a new language and travel to some place interesting if you have the means.
Your man may yet met you while you are busy doing your thing and enjoying existence and trust me he won't let you slip by him.
If I'm your ideal man, what difference and value are you bringing to the table? Please don't tell a guy like me SEX cos with zero naira I can Bleep my brains out If I want to. You have to first value and appreciate who and what you stand for before another can say THIS IS THE REAL DEAL.
Lol at you crying now! If you work smart on yourself you would be happy he walked. Humans and how they underrate themselves!!!! Pele my dear.

Hello Zebareba
The Posts above sum it up.
Saying anything else would be mere repetition. Trust me.

Let me just state categorically here that you need to give yourself time to heal.
It's not easy but give yourself time.
Dating now might be akin to a rebound.
Just don't rush into another one so you don't rush out.
No sane lady enjoys body counts
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by MizMyColi(f): 5:54pm On Jul 04, 2015
thorpido:
The people above have said it all.Heartbreaks are hard to take but time makes the pain ease off.
[size=14pt]You're just 30yrs.[/size] Don't get desperate.Guys like to take advantage of much older girls because they know they want to settle down.
Just occupy yourself.Pick up a hobby apart from your work.If you worship in a church,you could join a dept so you are busier and at the same time can enjoy fellowship with some people.

Excuse me?
Do you live in Nigeria?undecided

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by Nobody: 5:56pm On Jul 04, 2015
Time heals anything and everything...
It's good to cry...
Say this 10times after your crying Episode...

This too shall pass away and I love me!!!

Go out and spoil yourself girlliiieeee!!!

Infact, I want to take you out if you're in abuja.
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by thorpido(m): 5:57pm On Jul 04, 2015
MizMyColi:


Excuse me?
Do you live in Nigeria?undecided
So 30yrs is too old?Of course I live in Nigeria.
If 30yr olds feel they are too old,then it's part of the problem because it creates a mindset in itself.

4 Likes

Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by MizMyColi(f): 6:11pm On Jul 04, 2015
thorpido:
So 30yrs is too old?Of course I live in Nigeria.
If 30yr olds feel they are too old,then it's part of the problem because it creates a mindset in itself.

You sound like a person who isn't fully integrated into the Nigerian society.

Of course, I get your point.

But you actually gave the impression of a person who lives in la la land, where everything is happy - go - luckygrin

Here in Nigeria, 30 years is enough for people to start looking at you like some demon possessed, high-handed good for nothing girl, whom no man wants to have anything to do with! The subtle question on everyone's lips, even though they will not tell you is How come she is not married at this age?undecided

Ever heard of societal conditioning?
It can make you believe a lie about yourself!

Now that saidsmiley
I'm actually on the same page with you...

A young lady must gird herself, she must cook develop herself in such a way that societal rants, emotional blackmails and worth nots, do not form the bedrock for which she makes a decision on whom she wants to partner with for life (God-Willing).

Whether you are a young girl of 19 or a young lady of 35, you must begin now to reverse certain views society has/will make you hold about yourself and others, especially those of same gender.
Your thinking and choice of words must change! Your perception forms your reality, the onus is on you to choose the perceptions-cum-reality that'll ever matter to you!!

Ka Chineke Me'Eziokwusmiley

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by thorpido(m): 6:22pm On Jul 04, 2015
MizMyColi:


You sound like a person who isn't fully integrated into the Nigerian society.

Of course, I get your point.

But you actually gave the impression of a person who lives in la la land, where everything is happy - go - luckygrin

Here in Nigeria, 30 years is enough for people to start looking at you like some demon possessed, high-handed good for nothing girl, whom no man wants to have anything to do with! The subtle question on everyone's lips, even though they will not tell you is How come she is not married at this age?undecided

Ever heard of societal conditioning?
It can make you believe a lie about yourself!

Now that saidsmiley
I'm actually on the same page with you...

A young lady must gird herself, she must cook develop herself in such a way that societal rants, emotional blackmails and worth nots, do not form the bedrock for which she makes a decision on whom she wants to partner with for life (God-Willing).

Whether you are a young girl of 19 or a young lady of 35, you must begin now to reverse certain views society has/will make you hold about yourself and others, especially those of same gender.
Your thinking and choice of words must change! Your perception forms your reality, the onus is on you to choose the perceptions-cum-reality that'll ever matter to you!!

Ka Chineke Me'Eziokwusmiley
I actually wrote with the mindset of the bolded.It's the way I have conditioned myself over the years.
I understand how it is but I wanted her to think of how it should be.

3 Likes

Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by MizMyColi(f): 6:38pm On Jul 04, 2015
thorpido:
I actually wrote with the mindset of the bolded.It's the way I have conditioned myself over the years.
I understand how it is but I wanted her to think of how it should be.

Okaysmiley
But you can do well by first recognizing the mental stronghold, deconstructing it and then guiding her into a new way of thinking.

That way, you won't be accused of being oblivious to the pains and challenges of the average human who is yet to truly rise above.
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by Chubhie: 6:47pm On Jul 04, 2015
Jorussia:
check your mail inbox,i sent a PM.
Okare o ogbeni! Brother kepstone should be the one doing the PM and not you.
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by dinachi(m): 6:49pm On Jul 04, 2015
ZebaReba:
Hello. I posted a question last week about my relationship issues. We mutually agreed to end it as we remained untitled and i don't want to be the one claiming all the time.

pls share tips on how to move on in your 30s. Am confused. Most men can se me as old even though im petite. I need some advises on how to move forward. Am having a hard time surviving this breakup and i know i need to be strong.
Where are all those people pushing you to leave the relationahip? Where are they now? Yes you are right, they are hiding behind their keyboards now. Such is life.We are basically alone and decisions should only be taken when you are absolutely convinced.

Well something tells me your guy may come back. I don't know, maybe a hunch or something. Do not go out of your way now to start seeking relationships. You are deeply hurting and you need sometime to heal or else you make a huge mistake because of your weak emotional state now.
Take your time, focus on your career, please do not start dating until you are free from this emotional pain. People marry even at 35. And when you eventually start dating, do not make marriage your focal point, just concentrate on being Mrs right and I bet you the guy will pop the question before he knew what hit him! cheesy cheesy
Goodluck.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by thorpido(m): 6:53pm On Jul 04, 2015
MizMyColi:


Okaysmiley
But you can do well by first recognizing the mental stronghold, deconstructing it and then guiding her into a new way of thinking.

That way, you won't be accused of being oblivious to the pains and challenges of the average human who is yet to truly rise above.
You're right.We live in an African society and in Nigeria,it's a big deal.The moment your older relatives see you,the next thing they ask is,'when is the date'?I can't wait to wear asoebi.
The pressure is real but you have to rise above it.

2 Likes

Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by Jorussia(m): 6:54pm On Jul 04, 2015
Chubhie:
Okare o ogbeni! Brother kepstone should be the one doing the PM and not you.
wetin all this one come mean now?you think say i spoil like you?a beg gv me chance jare.
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by austine4real(m): 7:56pm On Jul 04, 2015
ZebaReba:
Crying. I really don't know where to start.
Ive not done anything wrong to deserve this whole thing. I've just been so unlucky with being responsible throughout my life.
take heart & b strong
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by Chubhie: 8:03pm On Jul 04, 2015
Jorussia:
wetin all this one come mean now?you think say i spoil like you?a beg gv me chance jare.
*I believe in miracles, where you from? You sexy thing.* Good luck.
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by EfemenaXY: 7:29am On Jul 05, 2015
ZebaReba:
You people have really helped to regain my lost confidence and increase my self esteem to where it ought to be. Thank you all for the kind comments especially from those with similar experiences. All I can say is God bless you all. I know I've been crying too much but I can't stop. Each time I remember how much time I wasted, my heart cracks again to pieces. I wanted to pray this morning but I couldn't because I know I still have unforgievenss in my heart towards him

Crying is good. You need to let the emotions out, rather than bottling them deep inside you. It's the only way you can start to heal.

Give yourself plenty of time to recover, and while you're at it, use this time to refocus on yourself. Go out there and improve your person. Face your career. Pay attention to your health. Eat clean. Exercise. Meet up with your girlfriends and have fun. But most importantly, take one day at a time. Small baby steps.

And for what it's worth, life doesn't end at 30. You're still young.
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by Nobody: 9:46am On Jul 05, 2015
keppyy:
Time heals anything and everything...
It's good to cry...
Say this 10times after your crying Episode...

This too shall pass away and I love me!!!

Go out and spoil yourself girlliiieeee!!!

Infact, I want to take you out if you're in abuja.

What about me ?

This monicker just went through and heartbreak and is in Abuja. I want someone to take me out. cheesy
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by Nobody: 10:18am On Jul 05, 2015
johnny1980:


What about me ?

This monicker just went through and heartbreak and is in Abuja. I want someone to take me out. cheesy


Lols...okay

Let me take you out.
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by Nobody: 11:13am On Jul 05, 2015
keppyy:


Lols...okay
Let me take you out.
Ok.
When?
****Runs to go wear my shoes***
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by Nobody: 11:21am On Jul 05, 2015
johnny1980:


Ok.

When?

****Runs to go wear my shoes***


Whenever we are both free...
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by Nobody: 11:50am On Jul 05, 2015
keppyy:


Whenever we are both free...
Ok.
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by chigoizie7(m): 12:46pm On Jul 05, 2015
ZebaReba:
Crying. I really don't know where to start.
Ive not done anything wrong to deserve this whole thing. I've just been so unlucky with being responsible throughout my life.


I don't know you, I don't know the details of your failed relationship.

But what I do know for sure is that you should sit yourself down and CRY all you want. CRY until you are tired of crying, make sure no one consoles you to stop, you have to console yourself to stop, make sure the crying does not exceed 1DAY.

After giving yourself the reason to stop crying, then give yourself the reason to move on.

Yes,

Many people will tell you not to cry anymore, but you really don't know the burden you are lifting off your shoulders in the process.

Many people will tell you that so many other people in your very situation survived it, but the truth is that, you are not those people, and whatever worked for them might not work for you.

The only other thing I will advice you is that you should do your best and leave the rest to God. Do not pressure any man in your life, do no show your might to him. Be a good GF.

If it will happen, it will.


I don't want to start telling you that there are things you are not doing right,no one is a saint, you pointed out that you love your man so much. But what u refused to understand is that UNDERSTANDING surpasses even Love in marriages or even relationships.

One thing we don't know is that many people dat do bad things does not even know that what they are doing is bad, check yourself to see were u re going wrong, and retrace ur steps.

I might be wrong on my assumptions after all.

I guess, we are all giving advices, the above Is mine.






I guess bad things happens to good people.
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by Qualer: 5:18pm On Jul 05, 2015
Jorussia:
How old are you?I know of a very close female relative who got married at about 32.It depends on your statue and may be looks.my close relative has a small statue and beautiful. She is over 36 now,but she looks 25.


Abeg, Which of the 'statues this your female relative get - small statue of liberty abi the small version of the three eko wisemen at Lagos toll gate.. cool just curious though.
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by Qualer: 5:21pm On Jul 05, 2015
ZebaReba:
Thanks Chubhie and 400billionman.

I'm very well gainfully employed. Money is not a problem and I've never shoved it down anyone's throat. I've been disappointed one too many times so I don't even now how to pick up the pieces to move forward. I've turned down so many responsible men for my ex all because I loved him and didn't want to cheat. That's why I'm crying. It's confusion and shame all together


Sorry dear!! Shit happens but time will always heal! Can we talk!
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by queen47: 6:14pm On Jul 05, 2015
thorpido:
The people above have said it all.Heartbreaks are hard to take but time makes the pain ease off.
You're just 30yrs.Don't get desperate.Guys like to take advantage of much older girls because they know they want to settle down.
Just occupy yourself.Pick up a hobby apart from your work.If you worship in a church,you could join a dept so you are busier and at the same time can enjoy fellowship with some people.

Oga, I sight you ooo.
How have you been?
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by thorpido(m): 10:41pm On Jul 05, 2015
queen47:


Oga, I sight you ooo.
How have you been?
I've been cool.Hope u're cool too.
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by fromusa: 12:10pm On Jul 06, 2015
My dear sorry for ur breakup but let me advise u from experience, my ex boyfriend left me in my 30s also last year and got married to another woman this year January, reason was that I am not tall enough for him, but I can tell u today that I am always singing songs of praises cos Love found me, a much more better person than I ever imagined, love will find u when u least expect it, just be focused, concentrate on ur work or business,take care if urself, love urself, live ur normal life, make friends, catch fun but don't forget God, get closer to God more and u will see everything falling in place.
You will get over him, you will not die from heart break, the earlier u try to forget about him the better for u.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by pickabeau1: 12:18pm On Jul 06, 2015
In addition to all that has been said,

I will repeat what I said on your other thread


What is your selling point aside your petite figure and the fact that you work

Will you be a good wife and mother?
Are u a woman that inspires trust and will not alienate family members
Do you respect traditions and values
Can you cook?
Are u good with kids

If so... then u have no issues... take time off , get involved in other activities, travel once a while (you are already in the west).. its only a matter of time

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by Nobody: 8:36am On Jul 16, 2015
Jayne2014:

Hello

You said "No Pms. Cases should be stated here". Now, where is the form to fill cos i have a case.
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by Amhappy(f): 11:13am On Jul 16, 2015
Sweetheart It is well with you. Console yourself and move on. If there is no vacuum then there will be no opportunity to occupy. A better man will come. Use this time to continue developing yourself into a good wife. Do not be set in your ways(this is a problem i have noticed in we older women),be a bit flexible and sweet. Associate with people,old,new etc. Get involved in God's work but don't become too religious ooo. If you are from the East,Nne travel to the Villa once in a while. Do invite me when you walk down the aisle next year.

modify I just read your first post,so traveling to villa does not fit sef.Just associate with people over there and carefully check out any recommendation.
Re: Any Tips For Starting A New Relationship In Your 30s? by Jayne2014(f): 4:54pm On Jul 16, 2015
RedBenson:


You said "No Pms. Cases should be stated here". Now, where is the form to fill cos i have a case.
stateyourcasehere@yahoo.com

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