Hello All,

Here is a short but true story.

I came from a home where I was thought to have a high self esteem as a girl. I was blessed with the looks and body so my mother was always ringing it in my ears, men are bad news! being her only daughter i never wanted to dissapoint her. All through my teenage years I was very careful of men, even in the Uni I kept alot to myself and tried as much to stay clear of men.

A year to my grad, I met a guy (I had met loads and loads of guys before this young man and I stood my ground), but this guy started asking me out, I thought as usual he will get tired like the rest and leave me alone. But he was different and kept pestering me. I told him I will not be sleeping with him at no point or time in our relationship and he said he was fine with it.
Now this guy was quite handsome, infact very handsome , very intelligent, nice and wealthy for a guy less than 30yrs old then. He treated me like a baby princess and we were both fond of each other. Little did I know that my guy had Phd in acting, I never caught him with a lady, we are from different ethnic group so we communicate only in English, but I suspected most times his on the phone with ladies he changes from English Lang to his dialect.

Anyway after my uni, he asked what I wanted to do next I said probably masters in a top UK University but I will need to work abit and get the rest funds from my parents.
By now I was so so comfortable with my guy, and was sleeping over at his once a while, he still didn't pester me for sex but he always said I will give in soon. On my 24th birthday he wasn't around he had traveled to the UK and came back only a week after and he said my birthday gift was him paying for ALL my Tuition, my Rental in the UK and pocket money all through my stay and even few trips back to Nigeria. I was so HAPPY, I wasn't really shocked because he has spoilt me alot of times before.
He helped me back then secure a visa, we travelled together did all the school runs in the UK and came back to Nig to apply for the "Student Visa", he even suggested I apply as his wife and we do a fake marraige certificate since that would increase my visa chances for reasons like I can use his Bank Statements etc, silly me I agreed but later changed my mind because I had to do a passport with his name as my last name, thank God I changed my mind.
I eventually got the Visa and my guy did all he promised even gave me pocket money, I felt surely this is my husband and eventually slept with him severally (HUGE MISTAKE), he kept to his promise all through even came to visit couple of times, but this guy was a CASSANOVA in Sheepskin, infact I found out he has so many sleeping partners to the extent he was sleeping with his neighbors niece who was 17-18yrs old (no wonder she always frowns whenever she sees me). He uses his money to get any woman he wants.
We eventually drifted apart, I finished school got a job and decided to stay put, I even found my husband in all this and he did pay dearly for my Exs crime, but he understood me, stuck with me and we have been married for over 2.5years now.

Late last year Mr. Ex sent an email, I responded even telling him am married and all, he had the guts to tell me that he is my first love and so many other things, like how he groomed me into a woman, etc and I can't abandone him. I told him am married he said that's ok but when he is ready I shall be his. The plonker has relocated to the US in all this.
I made a huge mistake by accepting to see him, just for closure and so he sees I moved on well without him. Guess what when I eventually saw this guy we hugged so tightly and I was shocked at myself! We spoke and I told him I love my husband and don't intend leaving him. The goat said when am ready to leave my husband he is there in Maryland, US waiting.. And i suspect the fowl might be married.
Thank God I decided to cut communication (God used some i confided in to slap some sense into me) with this guy again or else I could have given in to his sweet words as usual.
Atimes I feel he used jazz on me, i have been able to cut off all links, he doesn't have my number and I don't have his. I find myself thinking about him sometimes but most of it is how I would have ended up if I married him.
Am sure he is a serial lover in Nigeria, UK, USA infact everywhere.

I keep wondering.... Probably like the lady in the Tyler Perry's Movie (Temptation of a marraige counsellor)


But am learning to let go totally, it's a slow process but am making good progress.

Any married woman in the house gone through such from their EX?

NOTICE: summarised as RUBBISH.

.The guy try for you sha,he actually sponsored you to the UK when you weren't his wife.Since you are now happily married, I urge you to continue to cut all forms of communication with him,because from the tone you wrote this thread, i doubt if you will be able to resist him,if decides to get close to you again.You can inform your husband about him.

The goat said when am ready to leave my husband he is there in Maryland, US waiting.. And i suspect the fowl might be married.

so now he's a goat and a fowl.

tpiander:


so now he's a goat and a fowl.

Yes, because I told him I was married and I didn't want to have anything to do with him, but he using emotional blackmail by telling me he groomed me and all sort, to the extent he was sure that I would leave my husband and come back to him.

That makes him a goat & fowl.

Jorussia:
.The guy try for you sha,he actually sponsored you to the UK when you weren't his wife.Since you are now happily married, I urge you to continue to cut all forms of communication with him,because from the tone you wrote this thread, i doubt if you will be able to resist him,if decides to get close to you again.You can inform your husband about him.

Thank you.

I havnt communicated with him for over a year now, sincerely besides his email I have no other means of communication.

Gumberry:


Thank you.

I havnt communicated with him for over a year now, sincerely besides his email I have no other means of communication.

since you haven't communicated with him for over a year now,i believe you have successfully cut off every chances of him ever connecting with you again. I urge you to watch your emotions, because the emotions of ladies some time fall their hands o.

Gumberry:


Yes, because I told him I was married and I didn't want to have anything to do with him, but he using emotional blackmail by telling me he groomed me and all sort, to the extent he was sure that I would leave my husband and come back to him.

That makes him a goat & fowl.

Can you hear yourself talk.

Another person used emotional blackmail on you and you can say it out loud and feel proud about it.

Take responsibility. he didn't use emotional blackmail. Your greed and need for something that is not missing is what led you to meet him. You even HUGGED HIM TIGHTLY. If they call most women fish brains now. All the feminazi on Naira land won't allow us rest.


You wanted it as much as he did want it. So quit the shifting of blame and accept your missteps.

Gumberry:


Yes, because I told him I was married and I didn't want to have anything to do with him, but he using emotional blackmail by telling me he groomed me and all sort, to the extent he was sure that I would leave my husband and come back to him.

That makes him a goat & fowl.

U need to put him out of ur mind, it's difficult but it possible. Think of all his negative behaviour, how he treated u badly and u will soon start to realise he is not worth the trouble.

He is manipulating u, Dats the Fact.
And he is classless if not the minute u told him you were married he wud ve wished u gud luck and deleted ur number.

u don't need to see someone to get closure, especially in sutiations with an ex. u can give yourself closure. after reading the email, u should've deleted it. all that nonsense he was telling u on the email was enough for u to delete and not reply. once you've moved on and found a new man, are married or even if you're still single but want nothing else to do with your ex, never agree to meet. don't even respond to rubbish emails. some men are bitchasses... they will contact you again because they want to have the last word or because they want u back but will not apologize for hurting u and act like they did nothing wrong, somtimes even blaming u. all that can cause more heartache and set u back if you've been trying to move on. an ex is an ex for a reason and u knew this guy was no good, so u shouldn't hv entertained him by replying to his mail or going to see him.