Depression is bad, wicked and a killer if only you give it a chance.
2013 ended in grace just like my name, Grace. It wasn’t so good but it was better because there is life. With everything that happened, I was so strong to forge ahead.
2014 came, January precisely. I made a move to enroll at the National Open University (Noun) in which I got the admission. I paid a huge sum for registration and tuition fees. By March, the tool “depression” crept in. It started one after in mid March when I was in my office. I began remembering the past. What had transpired the previous years. And I began shedding tears in the office. Couple of colleagues came in asked why I was crying, I couldn’t give any explanation. I just took my bag and went home.
Yes the previous years were bad. I lost 3 of my brothers in a ghastly fire accident the same day. The following year, my slumped and died. That same year, my mum suffered stroke and died. 3 years later, my husband to be in which we have been together for 10 years. We were coming back from where we went to meet his parents and we had an accident. He was the only one who died in the car. Since that time, no man had asked me out. During this same period I couldn’t further my education. One of my junior sisters left the house, to only God knows where and we are yet to find her. I was left with only our last born who is a girl and her elder brother to cater for.
All that and so many hit my memory as I was in the office which led to my crying. At 37, no husband, still in Noun, no family as we had been abandoned by close relatives and so many things hitting my memory.
The next day, I didn’t go to work. This was indeed stage 2 or entering stage of depression. And the job I am doing is not just any job oo. This is a good Government Job in a good ministry. One week gone, two weeks, one month. By then, I had stopped school kpatakpata. The Noun I spent money to register for, I no dey go school again. No church, nothing nothing. I don’t even go out again. I will just stay inside day in, day out thinking and crying. My siblings would go to school and come back and still meet me at home. My colleagues at the office often come around. They kept on asking me what was wrong but I couldn’t give them any candid reply.
6 months gone and still, I no dey go work or school. My boss even visited me. Still I refused going to work. I will stay at home from morning till night.
Stage 3 of depression came in. The baddest of the baddest stage. I considered suicide. I wanted to take my life. Each time I was alone, the thought would just come into my mind. I bought it because I felt there was nothing I was living for. I wished to even question God why He still kept me alive.
This particular morning during one of the school holidays. My two siblings with me had gone out. I brought a rope and tied it to my fan and hanged it on my neck. As I jumped from the chair, the rope cut. The thing didn’t work. I kept on trying but it wasn’t working. The last one I wanted to do the last one but was interrupted by the knocks on the door by my siblings. Day after day, I kept on trying new methods, even using rat poison but it wasn’t working and I can’t just go to the pharmacy to ask them to give me a conc poison. I would be questioned about the purpose of it.
This particular morning in September, my siblings had gone to school and I was alone. I had perfected plans, hung the rope to the fan which I believe it was perfect. As I hung it around my neck and jumped from the chair. Indeed it worked as the rope held my neck so tight. The pains were immense as I struggled for life but still pushing for death. Not until my door was just opened by my landlord. I didn’t remember that I didn’t lock it with keys. When he force the door open and saw my state, she shouted, “Grace.” He started screaming for help. He held my legs and raised me up and people began rushing into the house and I was let loosed and rushed to the hospital. I had already started bleeding from my mouth. I spent 2 weeks at the hospital. Many people came to visit me and gave me couple of advises which I took. My life changed totally. When I was discharged, I sat down and thought about what had transpired in my life and realized it wasn’t worth taking my life. Even when I complained that I had nobody, the world has turned against me. But my landlord paid my hospital bills. My salary was not stopped at all. I was not fired from my job even when I never stepped my foot into the office for about 7 months. My colleagues and boss showed me love. They brought food items for me. To the extent, the commissioner of the state in the ministry I work in visited me. Small me. Who am i. My landlord sef didn’t demand rent from me. He canceled my debts. When there is life, there is hope.
Today, am a confident woman at 38, even when I am still single, I still want to get married but believe my life success is not shaped on marriage vows.
Today, 2015, I have resumed back at Noun to still further my education. I have been able to overcome depression. My soul is happy that I am alive today. I am not ashamed of my status. I am confident in myself. God has helped me and is helping me. My situation is not worse than Job in the bible.
Depression is bad. It is toxic to the mind. Do not allow it eat you up. Stay closer to God because he’s the answer and make sure you share your problems with people.

http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/1021-memoir-of-a-depressed-woman-and-how-she-overcame-suicidal-attack

Reading this really touched me emotionally. In every situation you are in, give glory to your God. And some people will say their condition is worse.

Thank God for her

Hmmmn.... this ur story get small K-leg. Ama point them out soon.

Thank God 4 ur life though

U for die and go to hell and see whether life there is better

Indeed a strong woman.Cuz tough tym never last but tough people do....

Wow this is really touching.
I put myself in your shoes for a minute and it was horrifying to even imagine going through that.

But thanks for sharing your story. It can help a lot of people going through similar things.
I've always believed that no matter how bad, as long as there's life, there's hope.
You're a testimony.

Cc kay29000

Sorry to bother you but I just had to cc you this one maybe you will be inspired by her story.

Bros dis tory be as e get without ur as usual pigin seasoning na. But for me, this story is clearly telling u that when u think u hav a bad situation around u, some people hav worst situations. When u heard theirs, u'll always be thankful no matter what.

Dannyset:
Bros dis tory be as e get without ur as usual pigin seasoning na. But for me, this story is clearly telling u that when u think u hav a bad situation around u, some people hav worst situations. When u heard theirs, u'll always be thankful no matter what.

indeed fellow. I have to give it as it comes. This story is actually a true life act.

FlySly05:
Cc kay29000

Sorry to bother you but I just had to cc you this one maybe you will be inspired by her story.

Okay. Thanks. Let me check it out.

Depression is indeed bad. I had suffered it times and times again, and i always ask the same question; what exactly is my purpose on earth, but i don't ever think about suicide, anytime the thought comes, I immediately try to wave it aside. Over the years, I've come to learn to move on no matter what comes my way. And when you sometimes hear what some people are going through, you will want to still hold on. . Life is fair to some, and not that fair to some. Life goes on anyhow.

gosh! i thank God for you .imagine an ingrate like me questioning God when things don't go exctly the way i want it.oh Lord i am deeply sorry for my ingratitude.you brought this daughter of your (Grace) out of miry clay.be though exalted
dont worry sis you very soon all your wish will come to pass.just hold on to God,do good to sll men.receive and give love to all.God bless your soul