Hello everyone, no need to bore you with long stories so I will go straight to the point. I'm a mother of four (two girls and two boys) and am happily married. Am an Accountant by profession, chartered and my husband is into business which takes him out of the town most times, although he spends quality time with the kids and I anytime he is around. We are comfortable and my husband and I ensure our children are well provided for which gives no room for unnecessary enticement from their friends, that is not to say they are spoilt-brats as we only provide their needs and not just wants. Though we spoilt them with gifts at times. My first child, Joyce (not realname) is 15yrs old and she is just done with her WAEC Exams. Of recent her siblings confided in me that Joyce goes out everyday and won't come back until evening, like one or two hrs before my return from office. As you all know the issue with Lagos traffic, I do get home around 7PM or 8PM daily but am always at home during the weekends except I go for shopping. To confirm what her siblings told me, I left my office one day and came home around 10AM, lo and behold my daughter was not at home and she didn't even call to tell me she would be going anywhere. After waiting for about 45 minutes, I decided to call her cell phone, which she didn't pick until the fifth attempt, I asked her where she was and why she didn't pick up, she said she was in the living room and her phone was in her bedroom, this saddened my mind the more. I told her to give the phone to her siblings so I could say HI to them also, she went flat and later dropped the call. I called her back, she didn't pick, I tried again and when she picked I repeated the same thing, she then told me they were playing somewhere in the compound not knowing that they were with me in the living room. So I decided to stay until she returns and she came back around 2PM, on sighting me she almost dropped dead but gave me the excuse that she just went to buy something in the neighborhood. I made her realized that I've been at home since 10AM and even called her from home. I sat her down, talked to her, counselled her and told her to be a good example to her siblings. She felt sober and asked me to forgive which I did. I really thought she has changed not knowing all my advice fell on her deaf ears as her siblings called me few days ago in office that she has resumed her going out everyday, just a week after counselling her. I talked to her every night but she is giving sleepless nights and is already affecting my work because my children are my life, they are the one am laboring for. Their dad is currently out of the country and I have discussed the whole issue with him over the phone.


Posted anonymously on www.confessionsnigeria.com
http://confessionsnigeria.com/post/137/my-daughter-is-becoming-wayward-please-advice-me

Super boom

what happens when she enters university?
teach her how to keep herself busy because u can't be with her all the time.
U can start a skill acquisition, lesson and also increase her home chores as a temporary solution. thanks.

God please never give me daughters you know I will throw them inside dustbin.

Its obvious that she has a boyfriend. ...I used to do exactly the same thing when I was a teenager. .my mum used to beat me up a lot and I didn't care cos I thought I was "in love"!

1)There is nothing you can do for now except counsel her on STDs, HIV/AIDS, and unwanted pregnancies

2)ask her to invite her boyfriend over (not too African but it works sometimes)...if she's going to be stubborn you might as well know who she hangs out with-for security reasons

3) what did it for me was when my mum took me to see HIV/AIDS patients at UPTH...that scared the shiiit outa me!!! Had to zipp up ASAP!!

As a parent with two daughters i took a very deep breath after reading your submission and can`t say i understand what you are going through as my children are still young but i can imagine your situation. I think you should have to Google up and read a lot of stuffs about the behavior of children her age as that will give you a deeper understanding of the current character she is exhibiting.

I also understand that most women are quite soft but as a man that day she came back will not go without a severe punishment especially for lying to me as her father at 15yrs.. It is unfortunate you allowed the matter to go without digging deep and ensuring she tells you the truth, there is no remorse without speaking the truth.

I think you and your Hubby should look inward to see how one person can be closer to home to watch and direct these children, what shall it profit you to work tirelessly while your child is going wayward?

Lastly, as a believer in Christ i strongly believe in prayers and have absolute confidence in the power of God, i will advice you to also embark on fasting, not just a mere denial of yourself some food for a period of time but a spiritual journey to seek the face of God because children are an inheritance from God.. The Bible in John 10:10 says the devil does not come except to steal and to kill, and to destroy but Christ has come that we may have life and have it more abundantly.

God bless you.

You spared the rod, now the child is spoilt.

lomprico:
You spared the rod, now the child is spoilt.

i think so...
Just pray the sibblings won't do as she's doing....
15years o!!!!!!!

your daughter needs to be flogged (she's not too big for that) and you need to lecture her on STDs or get her books that talk about teenage pregnancy and puberty.

Wif d way dis ya daughter is flying so, only God can stop her.
Don't send her to d university too soon, cos she will f up dere. Delay her a little, and while she's at home, send her to go learn some handiwork like catering cum tailoring.
Wif d way she doing, her going to skool will be a disaster now, she is d type dat do whatever friends ask her to do, she got no mind on her own. Teach and admonish her on d nid to always ve her say.
NB: experience

OREMUSSANCTUS:
Wif d way dis ya daughter is flying so, only God can stop her.
Don't send her to d university too soon, cos she will f up dere. Delay her a little, and while she's at home, send her to go learn some handiwork like catering cum tailoring.
Wif d way she doing, her going to skool will be a disaster now, she is d type dat do whatever friends ask her to do, she got no mind on her own. Teach and admonish her on d nid to always ve her say.
NB: experience

I never knew you can be this serious

@op, so you didn't lift a rod on that day you confirmed her waywardness

3kay945:


I never knew you can be this serious

@op, so you didn't lift a rod on that day you confirmed her waywardness

Must u insult me? @ ya first sentence


Dat lil babe no nid beatings, all she nids is to be talked to, many small boiz re toasting cum asking her out. All d madam nids to do is to talk to her cum scold her a lil, threaten her dat shez(madam) not gonna send her to university or so, give examples of people who lived a wrong life and re regretting it now, deprive her of some "love" at home.
Dis age is when she determines her future, when she feels loved. All madam nids to do, is to make her understand dat no man cum woman cum anybody can love her more than her family. She nids to get dat into her fagile skull

OREMUSSANCTUS:

Must u insult me? @ ya first sentence


Dat lil babe no nid beatings, all she nids is to be talked to, many small boiz re toasting cum asking her out. All d madam nids to do is to talk to her cum scold her a lil, threaten her dat shez(madam) not gonna send her to university or so, give examples of people who lived a wrong life and re regretting it now, deprive her of some "love" at home.
Dis age is when she determines her future, when she feels loved. All madam nids to do, is to make her understand dat no man cum woman cum anybody can love her more than her family. She nids to get dat into her fagile skull

Uhmm, hope those sweet talks have been getting into her fragile head I guess. By the way how old is she again 15, she is now an adult that can't be flogged!
I see.

Hmm, my first daughter is almost 13yrs, but I'm really scared. Op u have to keep her busy. Counsel her on Sex, std and HIV/ AIDS. And let her learn a skill.

U can also add little punishment like seizing her phone. U should also monitor her text messages to know d extent of d damage.

3kay945:


Uhmm, hope those sweet talks have been getting into her fragile head I guess. By the way how old is she again 15, she is now an adult that can't be flogged!
I see.

Flogging her is not a solution, it shld be d last option. She's a grown up babe, soon she will go to d uni, will d mum stay wif her?
All she nids to do to her, is to talk to her and advice her. Scold her and still talk to her, like I said she got loads of friends dat re trying to lure her into shitz. Get to know her friends, try to meet dem too.
D stage to beat her don pass, better learn now, cos u go born woman.
I prefer to train boiz to grls.
God give me 3 boiz, Amin!

OREMUSSANCTUS:

Flogging her is not a solution, it shld be d last option. She's a grown up babe, soon she will go to d uni, will d mum stay wif her?
All she nids to do to her, is to talk to her and advice her. Scold her and still talk to her, like I said she got loads of friends dat re trying to lure her into shitz. Get to know her friends, try to meet dem too.
D stage to beat her don pass, better learn now, cos u go born woman.
I prefer to train boiz to grls.
God give me 3 boiz, Amin!

Amen to your prayer.
But it takes a little sweet words from the dude behind the scene to upturned all your motherly words.
However, it takes a bigger gut on the part of the girl at that age to damn the consequence of flogging plus your sweet words.

Where you messed up was when she came in lied and you only say her down to talk to her ....you should have beat the living day light outta her,training a female is quite different from a male ..even the bible has said it " spare the rod,spoil the child "....she has obviously shown you that she will go haywire in the university.. It will now be foolish of you to send her to one that will assist her in becoming a disgruntled teenager .

A guy is behind it.

This is no time for flogging,but heart-to-heart talk..

She's at the tsunami stage of her life,where if care isn't taken,she can be swept off,and lost forever..

Definitely,she has a guy deceiving her,so Let her see reasons with the effect of her new behaviour,that the guy doesn't love her,but taking advantage of her.

If my daughter would behave like me around this age, I would totally be okay. Boys were the last thing on my mind then.

OP you made a mistake by not finding out where she goes, talking to her isn't just enough, let her know there are consequences.

You can start by letting her introduce that person(s) she always hangs with to you.

freecocoa:
If my daughter would behave like me around this age, I would totally be okay. Boys were the last thing on my mind then.
OP you made a mistake by not finding out where she goes, talking to her isn't just enough, let her know there are consequences.

You can start by letting her introduce that person(s) she always hangs with to you.

dont lie! boyzz r constantly
on yuh mind
boyz r all yuh talk about
yuh angry single feminist!
answa my request
ok

I remember when i was in high school sports and clubs were compulsory, they kept me busy. She needs to get something for her daughter to do during her break to keep her from mischief. Staying home all day can become boring and a bored child can become a problem child

This is the rare times i will advocate praying for divine intervention as a solution for this since she is already at an age where it will be extremely difficult to forcefully make her change course.

Your option is unfortunately restricted to constant 1-2-1 communication so as to ensure you make her fully aware of implications of her actions

reality of d todays world. dis one cant change

Madam your daughter will change but you will have to work and the nature of work is start praying for and stop worrying, keep talking to her and feed her with the word of God.

3kay945:


I never knew you can be this serious

@op, so you didn't lift a rod on that day you confirmed her waywardness

I tire ohh! God knows she will get some resounding slaps for lying even lying to me, then I Must know where she's Coming from....


Then I preach to her later

Teenagers and Raging hormones hmm , this is just nothing compared to what we see here. Hian

They will test and temper your patience to provocation if you're not psychologically equiped enough to assimilate their deliberate shait they're set to drop on your lap just to have their way.
No need raising your bp over nothing, just lay down stern ground rules , curfews and consequences.

Parents of girl children should stop making mountain out of molehill in regards to special treatment, play your role as a parent and guide them with words of wisdom to lead a decent life.
I will NOT temper justice with mercy atall

it's the survival of the fittest out there. Play checkers with your future and you're DONE!

pikin wey dem suppose flog well well to adjust her.
I wonder how people raise kids these days. Children that are supposed to be raised with some degree of iron handedness to give them that fear of repercussions that they've not yet gotten through life experience, are treated like eggs that will break with a whisper.
Rubbish parenting.

That's what happens when you cater too much for your kids without giving them opportunity to fetch for themselves. You want her to stay at home all day while you provide all she needs but she wants to see the real world out there

.. wu carezz mehn
madam talk tru
WHERE YUH A VIRGIN AT 15?
all deez ex-oloshoz who
go dey form 'good mother'
shioooor

Lyk Modda, Lyk Daugta