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Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy - Family - Nairaland

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Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by antony4rea: 1:12pm On Mar 14, 2009
YES i am not joking at all my wife is vey lazy and it is affecting me very badly.can you imagine a wife waking up from sleep 1 pm everyday and it is not as if she is sick or something o.
she has been been sacked so far now from 3 jobs she had,all because of this lazines of hers,i have complained seriously to her parents all to no avail,infact her p
ts have some part of the blame inthat they spoilt her rotten from childhood.
simple eba my wife cant make,housecleaning is worse,all she knows is to wear expensive clothes and go out visiting friends
at first i could bear it cos i could afford an househelp but now things are a bit tight for me so i need to save all the money ican get and the painfull thing is that my wife is not helping me in anyway.
Right now i am so confused,though i still love her but she is slowly destroying me and i dont how much more i can take before i break.
Please guys advise me on what to do
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by brownbonno(m): 1:55pm On Mar 14, 2009
You need to talk to her about your tight situation or seek a professional help.
You should have spot this during your courtship.
Wish you good luck.
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by sistawoman: 2:14pm On Mar 14, 2009
This is just why I am so hard on the kids about chores, esp, my little girl.
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by iice(f): 2:48pm On Mar 14, 2009
brownbonno:

You need to talk to her about your tight situation or seek a professional help.
You should have spot this during your courtship.
Wish you good luck.

I tire ooo.
Her parents spoilt her and you continued to do so.
Someone though needs to open her eyes and it seems as if the parents are not willing.
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by tpia: 4:16pm On Mar 14, 2009
.
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by DeReloaded: 4:19pm On Mar 14, 2009
tpia:

However, extreme tiredness could also be a sign of diabetes.

It's one of the symptoms
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by SeanT21(f): 4:20pm On Mar 14, 2009
I bet U are lazy also.

**how about U both do the work.**~~You are probably the kinda man that leave all the work to the lady~~
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by Pataki: 4:57pm On Mar 14, 2009
SeanT21:

I bet U are lazy also.

**how about U both do the work.**~~You are probably the kinda man that leave all the work to the lady~~
Did you read and digest the poster's write-up?

@ Poster,

Kindly seek professional help. Both of you need counsel. This matter is beyond anyone giving you the A-B-C of how to make your wife hardworking on the internet. She needs counsel and possibly help. It might be that she has personal issues depressing her, hence the low productivity from her.
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by FBS: 5:03pm On Mar 14, 2009
antony4rea:

simple eba my wife cant make,housecleaning is worse,all she knows is to wear expensive clothes and go out visiting friends
at first i could bear it cos i could afford an househelp but now things are a bit tight for me so i need to save all the money ican get and the painfull thing is that my wife is not helping me in anyway.
Right now i am so confused,though i still love her but she is slowly destroying me and i dont how much more i can take before i break.
Please guys advise me on what to do
did you see all these before you married her?
sit her down and talk to her. maybe she is depressed and if she is not, make her realise that she may end up alone.
have you any kids?
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by antony4rea: 5:31pm On Mar 14, 2009
thanks so much for your responses,this shows nigerians still care,@fbs yes we have a son,as for seeking proffesional help we have done that so many times but she always goes back to the same thing,it is just plain laziness,she was sacked from the last place she was working because she was always lazy
To me i dont understand it,she has strength when she is attending parties,visiting friends and so on,i have sat down with her so many times to know what is wrong all to no avail,do you know we live on fastfoods at times for a whole week till weekend when i get the chance to cook,my house is always dirty.
As for waking up 1pm everyday i too at first thought maybe she was sick or something until the doctor confirmed that there was nothing wrong with her,when i confronted her with this she said that was how she was brought up that there always househelps to help.
i am getting so frustrated everysingle day,i knew she was a pampered as a child but i didnt know it was to this extent,had i known i would NEVER have married her
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by brownbonno(m): 5:49pm On Mar 14, 2009
antony4rea:

do you know we live on fastfoods at times for a whole week till weekend when i get the chance to cook,

My heart ache for your son.

antony4rea:

my house is always dirty.


Even when she is 24/7 at home.That is very shameful.

antony4rea:

it is just plain laziness,she was sacked from the last place she was working because she was always lazy


If she was in the western world,she would long be homeless if can;t keep a job and pay the bills.

antony4rea:

when i confronted her with this she said that was how she was brought up that there always househelps to help.
i am getting so frustrated everysingle day,i knew she was a pampered as a child but i didnt know it was to this extent,had i known i would NEVER have married her

We people should teach children how to be independent.
You have a right to be angry and frustrated.(very sad and painful)
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by Treetop20(m): 6:23pm On Mar 14, 2009
this is very incompetent of her
i cannot imagine not cleaning the house and living
on fast food. I reckon her friends do not have jobs
as well right?
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by WarfyBoy(m): 6:40pm On Mar 14, 2009
I am sorry about al u r going thru bro, but you should have known this from beginning

i know some women do pretent to be good when they have not tied the knot, but wen everything is done with, then they will sho their real self

God help me and give me my own wife, sent from you
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by simmy(m): 8:19pm On Mar 14, 2009
lol. just tell her that he/she who cannot work 4 a living does not deserve to eat. stop giving her allowances and force her to fend 4 herself. Deprive her of all the luxuries she s attached to. dont buy food for her. just for yourself an ur kid. make sure she has absolutely no money. she'll change

1 Like

Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by ant01: 11:07pm On Mar 14, 2009
sorry mate but you should have noticed this aspect of her b4 you got hitched,

it is only thru prayers she can change but mean time you'll have to deal with it as trying to change someone can backfire.
you need to assert yourself more,
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by Seun(m): 11:30pm On Mar 14, 2009
Poor woman. sad
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by Radiant(f): 11:42pm On Mar 14, 2009
Lazy to the extent of loosing 3 jobs She could be sick. It's a bit hard to believe otherwise.
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by Outstrip(f): 5:18am On Mar 15, 2009
I thnk she might be depressed. So if she wakes up at 1pm every day and you have no house help who is getting your child ready for school
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by touchmeder: 4:11pm On Mar 15, 2009
Outstrip:

I thnk she might be depressed. So if she wakes up at 1pm every day and you have no house help who is getting your child ready for school

i almost asked myself
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by FBS: 5:30pm On Mar 15, 2009
depressed? the poster repeatedly said that the doctor checked her and nothing is wrong with her.
she is used to being pampered etc. . .pls read the posts again.

@poster: the situation is pathetic. was she like this before you got married?
Certainly you have to pray about this and be certain that she gets all the supports she needs.

Meanwhile, is it possible for you to get a househelp, your brother, sister. . .someone, at least to help with the house cos of your son, you know.
If ALL efforts fails, sit her down once again and let her realize that such behavior cannot continue.
If you are a good husband, she will understand your plight and if she doesn't, the hard way may be the ONLY way.
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by Nobody: 9:31pm On Mar 15, 2009
how come you didnt know before agreeing to marry her?
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by Nobody: 9:50pm On Mar 15, 2009
...
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by Nobody: 11:32pm On Mar 15, 2009
@ poster

Your wife hates house chores and she is an unhappy housewife.
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by antony4rea: 11:00am On Mar 16, 2009
@michelin89,if she is unhappy,then why?i give her everything a wife could possibly want,i bought a car for her,opened,i a salon for her which failed cos she couldnt manage it,i try within,check if all my powers to be a loving husband,what else can i do.what?how can i be still eating at bukas at this stage of my life just because my wife cant cook.
unmarried guys out there take care and watch out before taking anywoman to the alter
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by sparta(f): 11:06am On Mar 16, 2009
Whao whao whao !. do such women still exist? Is she an only child? How did you meet her and man didnt you notice these things before getting hooked? Oh i forgot love is blind ah? For how long did you date her because i cant imagine my self even dating someone who cant keep the house neat or keep a job let alone marry such.


Since you have talked and talked, start praying or take drastic measures of reducing her allowance. She will sit up.
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by antony4rea: 11:18am On Mar 16, 2009
yes o they do exisit,we didnt court for long ,she was living with her folks then and they had this rule that we must always meet in her place and that she could only come to my place after we were properly married and me now i no bother find out her housekeeping skills,something tells me her parents knew all along.
please i am sorry for the spelling errors in my last posting ,i didnt edit it b4 posting
thanks guys for all your responses
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by Omolola1(f): 11:38am On Mar 16, 2009
Your wife is very LAZY!

You dey try o
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by JJYOU: 11:59am On Mar 16, 2009
o boy sorry. i take it you guys are in naija. how much is house help in naija?  the wahala you cause yourself with this is not  worth the money you are trying to save.   she is your wife first and foremost so endure and cooperate with her.  it is your duty to get her motivated and bring out her best.  some us need to seriously put in the effort to understand our partners like you would read a manual to know how they work.

truth is some women are not cut out to cook.  that is the truth.  she must have strenght somewhere that you can work on rather than concentrate on her weakness.  there must be something that she likes doing try get involved  in the process she starts getting relaxed instead of being on the edge waiting for you to point out her weakness.  you will get her changed if she sees you as a friend rather than someone looking for any opportunity to criticize her.

we have a thread here on women who cant cook.

it may be difficult for you to believe depresion is not something most doctors can decern easily especially with the [i]talk right and positive peopl[/i]e that most nigerians are.
Omolola1:

Your wife is very LAZY!

You dey try o
that is not true.  you dont need much strenght to cook. she may not know how to cook that is not a crime is it now?  my bros need to do his work to improve on where her mum and dad stopped.  it is so easy to blame the mum and dad now  but she is bearing this guys name as mrs ,  .  if she goes back tomorrow what would she have learnt?

dont forget loosing a job can knock your confidence which would not improve with having the closest person to you breathing on you or resenting you for not greasing his tommy.  it is not good to allow anger into the tommy you are trying to prevent hunger from.
sparta:

Whao whao whao !. do such women still exist? Is she an only child? How did you meet her and man didnt you notice these things before getting hooked? Oh i forgot love is blind ah? For how long did you date her because i cant imagine my self even dating someone who cant keep the house neat or keep a job let alone marry such.


Since you have talked and talked, start praying or take drastic measures of reducing her allowance. She will sit up.
this will just aggreviate the situation. it is not worth it.  everyone must be made to feel secured in their house not feel threatened.  how much will he make? just pay someone to do it and keep a home happy and sweet.
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by Godalone(m): 12:11pm On Mar 16, 2009
Lazy woman
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by sparta(f): 12:24pm On Mar 16, 2009
Yeah, right get someone to do it but please protect your children from her, you dont want another set of lazy folks in your custody. It is enough that you have to deal with their mother. You need to see a movie called "aiye olomo kan". Mo le po tea, mol se custard, mo le gbe omi eba kanna but mo ti mo te."

Please protect your children o, Abeg, Laziness is a stigma on its own.
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by JustGood(m): 12:31pm On Mar 16, 2009
I bet U are lazy also.

**how about U both do the work.**~~You are probably the kinda man that leave all the work to the lady~~

Does this not qualify you for the left side of Yaba?
Re: Please Help|my Wife Is Very Lazy by JustGood(m): 12:39pm On Mar 16, 2009
It is a difficult situation and I feel for you but you saw the signs before you got married so you need to find a way around this. You either do all the work yourself and then she;ll eventually start feeling guilty and she get off her a*se as well or you get a maid to do it for her.

I think you should start doing everything by yourself and dont bother telling her to do anything. However, whenever she wants something from you, you can also make it difficult if its a non-essential. Dont keep telling her to do the housework.

I dont understand why parents cant teach their children to do housework and let them know that it is a good thing to do things at home. many people spoil their children's lives from childhood by not teaching them the right things. . . all because they think that loving your child means spoiling your child.

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