TheSonOfMark:

What's you obsession with Efik-Ibibio women? You keep losing men to them?

Dem say na mumu na dey first rush call another person mumu.
The OP ended by saying his wife eyes will clear when he meets a "calabar" girl but later edited it.
Thank God i keep losing men to myself.

Odidire:
Since the discussion is gradually moving towards tribal rivalry, I ve edited the story.

The story is 100% true. No a single fact has been altered. I have recounted it as narrated to me.

Thanks for your contributions

I hope you will also recount this to whom concerned as "narrated" here. Dont forget to ask the man for a name of a man who would give his wife conditions to choose from because she faulted a second time with his cooking instruction and would not eat until the wife chooses by force (i know you got this even if you edition makes another not to understand).

"My money is my money, his money is our money", I keep seeing this my mantra everywhere why is it vexing these ones like this? on top my magic formula , abeg, if it's giving you a headache, hit the darn head against a wall.

OP, good you have edited the tribal thing out of ya post cuz I don't see where the hasty generalization is coming from. Didn't read the original story but I'm going to agree with all the holes picked in ur first story. You already have a pre-conceived direction for this thread, you just weren't smart about it.

Odidire:
People

Everyday on the internet, I hear talks about how Nigerian guys are this and that, about how unfaithful they are and how they cannot be trusted. But I have given it alot of thoughts and have come to one conclusion, the issue is most likely with the ladies these men are married too. How did I arrive at this conclusion, I would share my own story with you.

I have been married for 3 years. I work with an oil and gas company as an engineer, while my wife works in a bank. I work 2 weeks offshore and the other 2 weeks I rest. We have a child, who is about 3 years old.

So 5 days ago, my wife and I were home (she is currently on leave and I am off work for the week). I walked into the kitchen and saw my child's nanny making the rice the family was to eat. I wasn't pleased at all. I discussed the issue with my wife. Being aware I don't like anyone preparing my meal aside from her and myself, I was very unhappy she allowed the nanny prepare my meal. She apologized, said the nanny was just being overzealous. That she started the meal, but the lady took over. I told she should let me know if she's too tired to cook, so I could do it myself. I don't mind the nanny cooking for my daughter, but I like to make my meals myself or at worse my wife makes it.

Next day, my wife was busy getting groceeries for the house. The nanny prepared the meals for my daughter. I wanted to fix myself rice, but discovered there was no stew. When my wife came back, I begged her to help fix INDOMIE. That was supposed to be my first meal of the day. Mind you it was already 2pm. She agreed. After 5 minutes, I decided to check on her, she was having a shower, so I went to the kitchen to check on the food. Guess what i saw, the nanny making the meal. I entered into the kitchen and saw the nanny (a young lady in her 20s) stirring the meal on the fire and smiling seductively at me. I was mad.

I discussed this with my wife, she apologized, said she put the indomie on fire and just stepped into the bathroom to have a shower, having just gotten back from the market. That the nanny must have decided to help out.


Then I started to ask myself some very important questions, why am I married to my wife and not the nanny? The nanny takes care of my daughter, cooks for her, does her home work and apparently cooks my meal too.


My wife's excuse is that she works and her work is very engaging and tiring. Yes, she works hard and is quite successful in her career. But sadly she doesnt contribute a single penny to the upkeep of the family. I am aware her salary is like 50% of mine, which is quite substantial. But she keeps 100% of it to herself. I pay for everything in the house, including her personal needs, which includes drivers, laundryman, house cleaners, vacations and everything else you can think of.


I remember some years ago, she compalined that I don't do chores around the house, I asked her what chores she does herself and the only answer she could come with is arranging the children's clothes and the house. I asked her what chores she wanted me to do, when we have 2 of her relatives staying with us and both of them were on holidays doing nothing. She ranted and complained that I just sit around whenever Im off work and do nothing. So since then I started washing my own plates and sweeping our own room whenever I can.


I noticed the above is common trend among educated Nigerian women. They leave their husbands at the mercies of housemaids and nannies. Back in the days, our mothers would never allow anyone feed her husband. They would personally ensure they handle that themselves. The modern Nigerian woman, all in the name of career, would abandon her husband and children.


Sometimes, I wake up in the morning, the first thing I see is a scantily dressed nanny serving me breakfast, people, pls tell me when would a young man not start having funny thoughts about the nanny. My major concern is even the look the nanny gives me anytime she sees me walk into the kitchen, while she is cooking. What if she decides to put love portion in the meal (who knows if those things are real or not). If I am not a christian and with some degree of self control and I start to misbehave with this nanny, they would come and say yoruba men have started again.



Can anyone tell me why I shouldn't be married to my child's nanny instead of my wife, because in my honest opinion, she adds more value to me than my wife.


Anyway, I have started making my meals myself. I have refused to eat anything prepared by her or the nanny. Its been over a week and I am healthy. Let her continue with her fight for women rights and feminism.

F00lish man with F00lish story.
you pay for drivers, housegirls , washer men and you still wash your own plate.

You get all these people for payroll you couldnt even get a washing machine or your employee can't do these ones.
all these Yeye bloggers sef.
thankgod sef I no finish the Yeye story

Chillis:


F00lish man with F00lish story.
you pay for drivers, housegirls , washer men and you still wash your own plate.

You get all these people for payroll you couldnt even get a washing machine or your employee can't do these ones.
all these Yeye bloggers sef.
thankgod sef I no finish the Yeye story

I read it halfway and realised it was just a poorly written script. He starts by saying his wife prepared a meal for him 5 days ago and then another meal a day later which was 4 days ago.

Then he ends saying he has been preparing his own means for the past one week. What a joke.

OP, you need more edits, the story still doesn't add up!

Odidire:


Anyway, I have started making my meals myself. I have refused to eat anything prepared by her or the nanny. Its been over a week and I am healthy. Let her continue with her fightor women rights and feminism.

Have you ever considered alternatives as opposed to just going straight to blame everything on feminism?

Have you ever suggested that since she works and she might come back home tired, she could cook different stews over the weekend? Freeze the food, heat it up and season it just before dinner.

Im not trying to create a man vs woman argument, but sometimes i think some people are inconsiderate. She might be earning half your salary but it doesn't mean she is not working hard to the extent that she will get home tired too. Instead of playing the blame game don't you think its wiser to look for a solution instead?

You can always tell the nanny straight up not to prepare any meals for you because you are not comfortable with it. Tell your wife firmly that you expect your wishes to be respected.

Let's be honest if a guy really wants to cheat not even a submissive superwoman can stop him from it. You should be looking for solutions to your problems not loopholes to use to your advantage.

How would you feel if you found out that your wife has been having thoughts of sleeping with other men because you are not always there to sleep next to her every night? Do you think it would be fair for her to justifying cheating because of that?

You nature of work doesn't necessarily make you the ideal husband because you are away half of the time. You should be working on solutions not emphasizing on the problem if you have intentions of keeping a happy marriage.

vfactor:



Please tell me in what way has the woman tried to please the husband and in what way is he hard to please? In my opinion, the op is married to two women, an official and a complement. It's only a matter of time before one completely takes over!

can you also say the wife is half married because she has to live with konji for the 2weeks he is away?

Lets not be inconsiderate. Marriage is all about sacrificing ans compromising. There are so many solutions to this problem.

1. The wife could get a less demanding job so she can always get enough time to get home and cook.

2. She can prepare the stews for the week over the weekend. That way when she gets home she wont have much to do, she will be able to prepare meals for her husband just the way he likes it.

3. They can hire a male chef/cook which his wife will be responsible for paying since he already handles all the other bills and her money doesn't do much. That way he will not have anyone give him imaginary sexy looks.

vague:
can you also say the wife is half married because she has to live with konji for the 2weeks he is away?

Lets not be inconsiderate. Marriage is all about sacrificing ans compromising. There are so many solutions to this problem.

1. The wife could get a less demanding job so she can always get enough time to get home and cook.

2. She can prepare the stews for the week over the weekend. That way when she gets home she wont have much to do, she will be able to prepare meals for her husband just the way he likes it.

3. They can hire a male chef/cook which his wife will be responsible for paying since he already handles all the other bills and her money doesn't do much. That way he will not have anyone give him imaginary sexy looks.

So are u answering my question or u re providing solutions to their problem??


I wanted the lady who blamed the husband for being insatiable to explain what she meant.
And she hasn't answered


And about sex? Your point doesn't really hold water! There is not proof that the women who's husband are with them week in, week out have sex with their husbands every week. I say this bearing in mind they've been married for 4yrs and she's a banker!

Your advice is good advice though!

delishpot:
Na wa o. Now I understand why some men cheat. Some women nor dey try at all.

maybe im lost but please explain to me how cooking for someone may justify a sexual relationship with another person?When his mother cooked for him everyday i highly doubt he had sexual fantasies of her because of that.
If a person simply wants to cheat they will do so, i don't understand why people always think its logical to use non-related issues to justify it.

Cx

vague:
maybe im lost but please explain to me how cooking for someone may justify a sexual relationship with another person?When his mother cooked for him everyday i highly doubt he had sexual fantasies of her because of that.
If a person simply wants to cheat they will do so, i don't understand why people always think its logical to use non-related issues to justify it.

Not about cooking. From what he wrote, it seems the maid has more contact with him and cares for his needs more than his wife. Believe me those things can stimulate some feelings in people be it male or female. When your parents do it still stimulates love but a different kind of love when a non relation does it, it stimulates that tender feeling and that can lead to ........

If you take time to go through my old pists, you will see that even you have not fought for women half as much as I have done here. So believe me, I know shit when I see one and this wife is being shitty.
yes a cheat will always cheat but a faithful spouse denied affection and TLC is groomed to consider cheating if the person doesnt like the stress divorce will bring or downright divorce.

2good:
My question is why should a man marry a wife when most women are useless to him? A wife will mostly not contribute to rent, bills, demand money for her family upkeep, complain about taking care of her own child, complain about cooking etc.
Why on earth should a man marry a parasite? You can choose to live alone and do everything yourself at 20% of your current monthly expenditure and not have to tolerate a parasite you feed and take care of insult you all the time. African women want to play white without being ready to take care of 50% of financial responsibility. I pity them because they fail to see that divorce is now about 50% in Europe and America plus 70% of young men in the age group 20-35 are unmarried in the U.S. because women are just not worth it anymore. Keep on pushing for selfish idea and see your society decay like the west. Men don't need marriage unless there is an incentive for them to but women crave for marriage. Marriage is a scam for men.

its a growing trend in the west.i guess men are waking up.you read up stuffs like this and you wonder why you shouldnt save yourself all the troubles.and look up the comments by some of the silly hot headed women here.

OP has been contemplating screwing his nanny for X amount of time. He's in the 'rationalization' stage of things, and has come here to quiet his conscience and seek further 'validation' for his actions. Nothing you say matters unless it supports what he's already decided to do, so don't bother wasting your breathe.

Yh, don't forget to update us, OP. Sigh.