Most Nigerian women wants to experience motherhood, but they give so much care on experiencing it through conception. There are several couples without a child, going through all kinds of medication, emotional torture, psychological meltdown because of their inability to conceive. I have seen couples wait for more than 10 years in a completely empty house and well furnished rooms, waiting for that day to arrive. Now my question is this, What if it never happen? For those couples with medical report stating that painful phrase " chances are slim", does that mean they will spend their entire life in life- long regret? I don't understand why people suffer theirselves so much!

Abeg I want ask, this life wey person come naked, shee person go carry pikin eenter grave?

I have seen couples who lose all their kids , eventually dying childless. I know of a man whose wife and kids died in one of the plane crash, just like that. Childlessness is bad,especially when alternative such as adoption isn't given a chance.

If I happen to have a husband with low sperm count, I won't wait for ages for that "miracle"to happen. What the hell? !I will walk into a motherless home and pick a twins! Who get that time to dey "worry"? What will be will be! If after one or two IVF S, what is the essence of crying and mourning when an understanding can be reached, for adoption to take place?!

Whether conceived or bought, there must be cries of a child (ren)in my home.I intend to make the best out of any situation I find in myself in life, for I know life itself is vanity. One day, I will leave everything behind and go to my maker. Again, why the headache?

Na our culture and belief wet cause am.


Omo mi yato si Omo olomo


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Urm adoption.... Urm... Well no comments abt dat... Until wen I get married

holatin:
Na our culture and belief wet cause am.


Omo mi yato si Omo olomo


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In this day and time? Why will people allow that to stand as stumbling block to their happiness?

I see couples of over 45 years still no child, praying , binding and waiting! Hell go get a child, while you continue to pray. Why go through that much self inflicted torture?

There are so much societal and cultural reservations about child adoption in this part of the world. Even people who end up adopting children like to keep it concealed. I have seen a woman who kept tying a lump of cloth around her abdomen for nine months to make it look like she was pregnant before she "gave birth to" (adopted) the child and this is no fiction. It's that bad

We are in Nigeria, where superstitious belief is attached to everything. Some parents will be like, you don't know the type of blood running through the veins of the baby, the father might be a criminal, some ll tell u, what if this child is possessed .
That is why most educated couples that want to adopt a baby do fake pregnancy and lie they are going abroad for delivery while the actually go for adoption.

While some said they are scared of bringing in a bad blood into their family. Adoption isn't bad tho. The norms and traditions of our people also is another problem. Some won't value that adopted child or see him or her as part of the family as long as their blood do not run in d child. Take example, a man whose wife gave birth to only girls adopted a male child. Maybe along d line d man died, his kinsmen will always remind d adopted boy that he is not their biological son n as such will not inherit his fathers wealth. So I think our culture plays a major role here

EggovinMma:


In this day and time? Why will people allow that to stand as stumbling block to their happiness?

you may not understand how it feel to be an adoptee or adopter yet.

this environment we are may be a challenge to an adoptee, imagine how a kid will feel been abused as a child with no known parent.

you will need to speak with people like tinubu to understand better.

but I pray I ve no reason to adopt

holatin:
you may not understand how it feel to be an adoptee or adopter yet.

this environment we are may be a challenge to an adoptee, imagine how a kid will feel been abused as a child with no known parent.

you will need to speak with people like tinubu to understand better.

but I pray I ve no reason to adopt

Anybody can be abused.Creating a good environment is not specially made for adopted kids alone but all kids.All I am trying to say here is this, pikin na pikin.If the conception thingy and fails, adopt and be happy.

Nigerians( actually it is not limited to my country) and their selfishness. Having a child is not limited to just the biology of the birth alone. There is the nurturing, providing and creating a safe environment as well which is largely what would determine how the child in question would be as an adult.
There is a lack of empathy and lip service when we examine the lives of these children who have been abandoned. People focus on their need rather than placing themselves in the shoes of the child who just wants a family to call their own. It is truly heartbreaking.
I have my biological child but if fortune favours me to be financially capable of raising more children, I intend to adopt as well.
No shame, it's about giving a child a loving home and every child deserves this.

1 . Because of itoro kind of children who cause pain and chaos in the family (people have seen the movie itoro will understand)

2.when the child grows up and becomes successful he will put you secondary or abandon and start looking for his lost parents and start taking care of them. And the moment you remind them remember I was there for you when no one was there for you he won't hesitate to remind you that you are not his mother so you have no right to tell me what to do

3 . society will still abuse you that you are still barren with the line ofomoolomo shey omo while you don't have yours

4 . When you die and you will your properties to the adopted child, that is the end of your generation. The money would be transferred to another family. The koko is that you just laboured for another person's child to sit down and eatu

5.as a woman an adopted child won't satisfy your maternal cravings. You will still feel unhappy and depressed once in a while knowing he's biologically not yours even though he's legally yours. Just like when you are thirsty and you are given everything except water, no matter how beautiful the child is you will still want yours

6.what is not yours is not yours and society will continually remind you of that . your husband your adopted child won't be spared either



7. Do you understand

shaybebaby:
Nigerians( actually it is not limited to my country) and their selfishness. Having a child is not limited to just the biology of the birth alone. There is the nurturing, providing and creating a safe environment as well which is largely what would determine how the child in question would be as an adult.
There is a lack of empathy and lip service when we examine the lives of these children who have been abandoned. People focus on their need rather than placing themselves in the shoes of the child who just wants a family to call their own. It is truly heartbreaking.
I have my biological child but if fortune favours me to be financially capable of raising more children, I intend to adopt as well.
No shame, it's about giving a child a loving home and every child deserves this.

If you know its not limited to Nigerians...why go on perpetuating a stereotype

You should educate

Adoption issues are not peculiar to niegeria maybe pronounced due to traditional beliefs

With time adoption will become more entrenched

From my observations, a lot of negative amount to that

Greed, not cultured with the spirit of giving and care. belief in the fact that if it's not your child it's not your child, fear of bringing a witch or problem child into the family. Thinking of people's opinion

efemenaslectura:
1 . Because of itoro kind of children who cause pain and chaos in the family (people have seen the movie itoro will understand)

2.when the child grows up and becomes successful he will put you secondary or abandon and start looking for his lost parents and start taking care of them. And the moment you remind them remember I was there for you when no one was there for you he won't hesitate to remind you that you are not his mother so you have no right to tell me what to do

3 . society will still abuse you that you are still barren with the line ofomoolomo shey omo while you don't have yours

4 . When you die and you will your properties to the adopted child, that is the end of your generation. The money would be transferred to another family. The koko is that you just laboured for another person's child to sit down and eatu

5.as a woman an adopted child won't satisfy your maternal cravings. You will still feel unhappy and depressed once in a while knowing he's biologically not yours even though he's legally yours. Just like when you are thirsty and you are given everything except water, no matter how beautiful the child is you will still want yours

6.what is not yours is not yours and society will continually remind you of that . your husband your adopted child won't be spared either



7. Do you understand

Seriously, this your explanation is smeared with ignorance please. Truly, the society of today do not really give a heck, it's the couple that prefers to suffer , making problems out of nothing. Truth is, we live our life for ourselves and nobody .


1, That itoro child thingy is not limited to adopted kids alone.I hope saw the thread where a couple burnt their child claiming the child is the cause of their misfortune. The nigerian society is highly ignorant. Any child can be possessed whether adopted or biological.

2, Why adopt a child to tell the child eventually that he/she is adopted? What is the essence if i may ask? What is there to prove. This is a secret that should go to the grave with the parent. Even if they eventually have other kids, the adopted child must remain the first child and must gain the full privilege as the first child.

3, The society abuse anybody. Even the one without husband is abused. The nigerian society will abuse you for having a child and will also abuse you if the child is a female.Ifemale.Isnt it the same society that creates institutions where orphans can legally be adopted? The ignorant in the society should never dictate your happiness.

4, Just wow! Properties transferred to which family? Pikin wey you carry when them born am? How will that happen? Infact the properties the you ate trying to keep away from that child, who do you want to give it too.The bible says train a child the way he should go so when he Is old he shall not depart from it.The bible never mention one's biological child alone.If eventually other "biological " kids come afterward, they will get their own share of the properties, but it is fair for the first to get the better.When you dey find the biological pikin for years, where them dey?

5, As a woman, I see no difference. Maybe because I am not wired to cry over spilt milk.Maybe because I accept to accept that which I do not have power over in this life.The question should be, how long must that barren woman/infertile man with adopted kids continue to yearn for biological kids when the adopted one is calling you "mother" Or "mummy".Until we purge our self of self inflicted ignorance, we can never find happiness in life.

6, You keep talking about the society as if it really matters.Will the society knock on my door to drag me to court for adopting? Look, this pikin wey people dey die put, no be some dey throwaway am inside gutter?

Nobody prays to be childless when they need kids, but it's not the end of the world. Alternatives should be sort for.

My dear to each their own. Just as faces are different same way our state of mind and ways of seeing things is different. You can decide to look at the sky and say it's blue and white. I can look at it and say it's purple

EggovinMma:


Seriously, this your explanation is smeared with ignorance please. Truly, the society of today do not really give a heck, it's the couple that prefers to suffer , making problems out of nothing. Truth is, we live our life for ourselves and nobody .


1, That itoro child thingy is not limited to adopted kids alone.I hope saw the thread where a couple burnt their child claiming the child is the cause of their misfortune. The nigerian society is highly ignorant. Any child can be possessed whether adopted or biological.

2, Why adopt a child to tell the child eventually that he/she is adopted? What is the essence if i may ask? What is there to prove. This is a secret that should go to the grave with the parent. Even if they eventually have other kids, the adopted child must remain the first child and must gain the full privilege as the first child.

3, The society abuse anybody. Even the one without husband is abused. The nigerian society will abuse you for having a child and will also abuse you if the child is a female.Ifemale.Isnt it the same society that creates institutions where orphans can legally be adopted? The ignorant in the society should never dictate your happiness.

4, Just wow! Properties transferred to which family? Pikin wey you carry when them born am? How will that happen? Infact the properties the you ate trying to keep away from that child, who do you want to give it too.The bible says train a child the way he should go so when he Is old he shall not depart from it.The bible never mention one's biological child alone.If eventually other "biological " kids come afterward, they will get their own share of the properties, but it is fair for the first to get the better.When you dey find the biological pikin for years, where them dey?

5, As a woman, I see no difference. Maybe because I am not wired to cry over spilt milk.Maybe because I accept to accept that which I do not have power over in this life.The question should be, how long must that barren woman/infertile man with adopted kids continue to yearn for biological kids when the adopted one is calling you "mother" Or "mummy".Until we purge our self of self inflicted ignorance, we can never find happiness in life.

6, You keep talking about the society as if it really matters.Will the society knock on my door to drag me to court for adopting? Look, this pikin wey people dey die put, no be some dey throwaway am inside gutter?

Nobody prays to be childless when they need kids, but it's not the end of the world. Alternatives should be sort for.

We wey dem born sef dey doubt say na dem born us.

pickabeau1:


If you know its not limited to Nigerians...why go on perpetuating a stereotype

You should educate

Adoption issues are not peculiar to niegeria maybe pronounced due to traditional beliefs

With time adoption will become more entrenched

I am trying to educate. But this is not about educating people about why adoption should not be a taboo.
It is about challenging traditions that are were borne during a time where the issues we face in modern times were nonexistent.
Funny enough, I do not recall tradition expressly forbidding this.
In actuality, people already do this without the name adoption tagged to it. They sometimes take in the children of family members or friends who for whatever reason are incapable of raising their own offsprings. And they raise these kids like their own... Often alongside their biological children.
The education is to show that it is being done already, though less formally and extending it to children who might not be relatives. No difference really because at the end of the day, you are raising a child who is not biologically yours.

shaybebaby:

I am trying to educate. But this is not about educating people about why adoption should not be a taboo.
It is about challenging traditions that are were borne during a time where the issues we face in modern times were nonexistent.
Funny enough, I do not recall tradition expressly forbidding this.
In actuality, people already do this without the name adoption tagged to it. They sometimes take in the children of family members or friends who for whatever reason are incapable of raising their own offsprings. And they raise these kids like their own... Often alongside their biological children.
The education is to show that it is being done already, though less formally and extending it to children who might not be relatives. No difference really because at the end of the day, you are raising a child who is not biologically yours.

Exactly adoption is not new here
We have People whose families raised so many kids that its difficult to identify the biological kids

I only posted because you said as if its a Nigerian thing
Even whites take time before they consider adoption

Ruq:
We wey dem born sef dey doubt say na dem born us.

Lmao.

The last time I was in a motherless babies home, I carried a baby and the baby held me so tight that I dropped a few tears. It was war before the baby was tactically deceived to let go. I know I will be happy and fulfilled adopting those kids and watching and mentoring them into becoming responsible adults but, the thoughts of experimenting something of an Aryan race is the only motivation I've got for marriage.

Though, I'm yet to find the “perfect” specimen.

Chubhie:
The last time I was in a motherless babies home, I carried a baby and the baby held me so tight that I dropped a few tears. It was war before the baby was tactically deceived to let go. I know I will be happy and fulfilled adopting those kids and watching and mentoring them into becoming responsible adults but, the thoughts of experimenting something of an Aryan race is the only motivation I've got for marriage.

Though, I'm yet to find the “perfect” specimen.

"Perfect "is boring.

Because there is NO ADOPTION in the BIBLE!
Muchechechechecheche

No barreness for BIBLE o!

Even woman with 'issue of blood' born TWINS from OKIJA testament!

Because of the society.
All these ...if you will your properties to an adopted child...if he wakes up to go look for his parents...
If you will, do it.
Society is there for that, to stigmatize.

EggovinMma:
I see couples of over 45 years still no child, praying , binding and waiting! Hell go get a child, while you continue to pray. Why go through that much self inflicted torture?

This is the one dt irritates me mostly....I see it as selfishness of the highest order especially the woman..."ori omolomo lo n pomo waye"...who knows,by actually taking care of someone else's child GOD might show mercy to you for your innermost need.

lovaleenny:


This is the one dt irritates me mostly....I see it as selfishness of the highest order especially the woman..."ori omolomo lo n pomo waye"...who knows,by actually taking care of someone else's child GOD might show mercy to you for your innermost need.

That's just it! In as much as I advocate for adoption, I also advocate c that the adopting parents be loving, especially the woman.Some women who are yet to conceive can be very very mean and harsh.

EggovinMma:



"Perfect "is boring.

Perfection itself is elusive here in God's earth and only exists in utopia. We all sometimes have to compromise for something near perfection.

Tis normal to atleast have a standard.

When people start understanding that we are "adopted" as christians, Then they will understand better.

holatin:
you may not understand how it feel to be an adoptee or adopter yet.

this environment we are may be a challenge to an adoptee, imagine how a kid will feel been abused as a child with no known parent.

you will need to speak with people like tinubu to understand better.

but I pray I ve no reason to adopt

Tinubu? How do you mean?

Adopting a child is not the same thing as actually giving birth to a child. That's the answer. EggovinMma.

Timbuktou:
Adopting a child is not the same thing as actually giving birth to a child. That's the answer. EggovinMma.

No body is saying is the same thing.There should always be a plan B when it comes to childlessness in marriage.

Chi59:

Tinubu? How do you mean?

tinubu is not mogaji biological son but an adopted child