Definition of a Successful Man: A man who can earn more money than his wife can spend. Definition of a Successful Woman: A woman who can find such a man


lying in bed, I was asking myself,  what are some of the secrets of success in life? I found the answers right there, in my very room. The fan said : be cool. The roof said : aim high. The window said : see the world. The clock said : every minute is precious. The mirror said : reflect before you act. The calendar said : be updated. The door said : push hard for your goals. "If you do, you will, but if you don't, you won't. If you're not able, you don't have to,



What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant


if money dosent grow on trees, then why do banks have branches? why does a round pizza come in a square box? why doesn't glue stick to its bottle? why do u still call it a building when its already built? if its true that we r here to help others, what r others here 4? if u r not suposed to drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? we r a funny bunch of ppl living in a seriously funny world, what do u say


Because of your UNION with God,he will take you to the ZENITH,open an INTERCONTINENTAL GATEWAY for you to discover PLATINUM and DIAMOND,and ur UBA will SPRING beyond the SKYE and the OCEANIC, leaving a FIRST of its kind MONUMENT for the world to see. Because the OMEGA is ur TRUSTED GUARANTY!

MAN WHO GO TO BED WITH ITCHY BUM, WAKE UP WITH SMELLY FINGA,

War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left,

Crowded lift smell different to midget,

Living on Earth is expensive,
but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.

How long a minute is
depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

Birthdays are good for you;
the more you have, the longer you live.

Happiness comes through doors you
didn't even know you left open.

Ever notice that the people who are late
are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?

Most of us go to our grave
with our music still inside of us.

If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day,
how come nothing is free yet?

You may be only one person in the world,
but you may also be the world to one person.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

Don't cry because it's over;
smile because it happened.

We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty,
some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all exist very nicely in the same box.