It was narrated that Hudhaifa (radi Allahu anhu) said: “I was harsh in the way I spoke to my family, but not to others. I mentioned that to the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) and he said, ‘Why don’t you ask for forgiveness? Ask Allah to forgive you, seventy times each day.’” [Sunan Ibn Majah]

In this hadith Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) tells us what to do if we find it difficult to be gentle and loving to those closest to us. He (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) told us to seek forgiveness from Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) many times a day.

This can be a sincere, heart-felt, “Astaghfirullah,” or one of the longer versions mentioned in Ahadith, such as “Astaghfirullaha wa atubu ilaihi.”

Repenting and asking for Allah’s forgiveness are good deeds in themselves because they are a way of feeling and demonstrating servitude to Allah (subhana wa ta’ala). When we consider how small and insignificant we and our Allah-gifted talents are, in comparison to Him, it removes false pride from us that hardens our hearts and makes us arrogant and harsh.