I was born to a developmentally disabled mother and absentee father, both of whom were addicted to drugs and alcohol. Neither biological parent had the ability to care for one child, let alone twins. My sister and I were abandoned by our “mother” and dropped off on the doorstep of our biological maternal grandmother. Growing up with my biological grandmother was chaotic. My life was full of inconsistencies and dysfunction. I always felt like I did not belong there. Not only did I not have a place to call home but I was constantly bullied at school because I wore hand-me down clothes. Child Protective Services entered my life at a very young age. My grandmother always coached us on what to say whenever the social worker interviewed us. She would always say, “Don’t you forget, blood is always thicker than water you don’t want to end up in foster care. You belong with blood family, and not with a stranger.”

At the age of twelve, my sister and I entered foster care along with our seven year old brother. At first I was devastated and petrified. I believed all the rumors my grandmother had told me about foster care. The saddest part about going into foster care was being separated from our younger brother. I was fortunate and did not get separated from my twin. I soon discovered that all the rumors my grandmother told me were not true at all. Foster care was actually quite pleasant. After a few years in foster care my brother was adopted. At first my biological grandmother was against it and could not come to terms with the adoption. At that moment the phrase she would always tell us echoed in my head. I thought to myself, “Why would she not want my brother to be happy? Doesn’t she know how happy this makes him?” Then I told myself this is a woman who came from dysfunction and dysfunction is all she knows. So with that, I ignored her comments and continued on with my life.

My brother’s adoption was one of the happiest days of my life. I no longer had to worry about him. I knew he would be okay. My brother told his adopted father he did not want to be adopted if that meant he would not be able to see his sisters. Since his adoption, we stayed in contact and had visits with him and his dad. When I turned eighteen, I moved to Bellingham to be closer to my brother. Before I knew it, his dad was now my dad. He considered me his daughter and I considered him my father. He has been the best male figure in my life.

On my 21st birthday my brother and his dad announced that they both wanted to legally adopt my sister and me. On February 27, 2014, I was officially adopted. For the last few years I already felt like I was a part of my brother’s adoptive family. Nothing has changed really, except now I am legally my father’s daughter on paper. I even received a new birth certificate. The moral of this story, my story, is that you can choose your family. It does not have to be the family you are born with. Family is what you make it. I chose to be part of a family that loves me unconditionally, with no strings attached. Blood is not always thicker than water.

Source>> http://www.mockingbirdsociety.org/index.php/mockingbird-times-april-2014/516-blood-is-not-always-thicker-than-water