Teacher:kids what does the chicken give you?
Student:meat
teacher:very good!now what does the pig give you?
Student:bacon
teacher:great!and what does the fat cow give you?
Student:home work!



The teacher asked jimmy,"why is your cat at school today jimmy?" jimmy replied crying,"because i heard my daddy tell mummy "i am goint to eat that p*ssy of yours once jimmy leaves for school today


roses ar red,your blood too
you look like a monk*ey,and belong to a zoo
donot worry,i'll be there too
not in the cage but to laugh at you!




A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem.so she asked anyone who tought they were stupi*d to standup 'one kid stood up' and the teacher was surprised and said she did'nt think anyone would standup so she asked him "why did you standup? He answered 'i don't want to leave you standing up by yourself'



when ever your 'ex' says, you will never find someone like me,"the answer to this is "that is the point




light travel faster than sound that is why some people appear bright untill you hear them speak!




A family is at the dinner table "the son asks the father,dad how many kind of b**bs ar there?. The father,surprised answered the son,'a woman goes through three phases ,,in her 20s a woman b**bs are like melon,round and firm. In her 30s and 40s ,they are like pears,still nice,hanging a bit ,,after 50,they are like onions". 'onions?' the son asks "yes you see them and they make you cry. This infuriated his wife and daughter . The daughter asks 'how many kind of d*cks are there?' the mother smiles and says , a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s a man's d*ck is like an oak tree,in his 30s and 40s its like a birch,flexible but reliable,after 50s its like a christmas tree' "a christmas tree?" asked the daughter.. "yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration"




a man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decided that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is,but would give them a clue and let them guess.the dad said,"well its what your mummy calls me sometimes" the little girl screamed to her brother "don't eat it! Its an a*ss hole"



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