CONFLICT MANAGEMENT TOOLKIT FOR COUPLES
1. Foundation is crucial, start right
2. Share the same spiritual convictions in Christ
3. Build on a relationship driven by the man
4. Obey divine order as regards headship of the man
5. Cultivate positive and intimate communication.
6. Take each other’s feelings into account before doing anything
7. Express your feelings, concerns, interests calmly
8. Correct her in love
9. Unite to solve your problems with respect. Don’t assume the worst. There are many possible reasons for his or her behaviour. Be honest, open come up with solutions together. Promote a common ground
10. Encourage dialogue. Allow him complete his sentence before replying. Stay on the subject. Take responsibility for your own responses
11. Accept responsibility for your own role in the disagreement. Initiate contact
12. Be willing to forgive
13. Trust each other. Be trustworthy. Avoid being suspicious
14. Read on marriage. Attend seminars
15. Be a good listener. Listen well
16. Understand each other
17. Give unconditional respect to your husband.
18. Appreciate, accept, notice, admire, commend him
19. Endure together
20. Tolerate each other
21. Offer your advice and help if he asks for it
22. Don’t correct him in public
23. Turn your fights into good ones
24. Figure out the real problem, concerns, needs
25. Remove barriers to effective listening ego, assumption, defensiveness, impatience,
26. In making decisions make use of her opinions, insights and suggestions
27. Meet his emotional needs.
28. Understand the other person’s point of view
29. Be hard working with direction
30. Encourage your partner’s dreams and goals
31. Be happy with each other’s successes and achievements
32. Give unconditional love to your wife. Tell her you love her
33. Love his mother
34. Spend time together. Share his interests
35. Encourage your husband
36. Let there be enthusiastic agreement between you
37. Let go of wanting to be right. A third position may exist
38. Honour your parents
39. Don’t think it is greener on the other side
40. Be aware and respectful of each other’s differences. Manage these differences
41. Appearance matters pay attention to this. Pay compliments to each other
42. Support him to create financial security
43. Keep each other informed of happenings at end of each day
44. Make financial decisions together. Ensure financial intimacy. Be financially responsible
45. Be considerate.
46. Be positive. View your spouse in a positive light.
47. Admit when wrong and apologize
48. Do not take it personally
49. Figure out what the other person is feeling.
50. Protect your partner. Portray your spouse in good light to your family.
51. Watch how your attitude and actions impact on your spouse
52. Subdue and control your emotions
53. Don’t let negative thoughts linger renew your mind  replace negative thoughts with positive ones
54. Treat your spouse better than you treat anyone else
55. Paint the big picture
56. Ensure physical intimacy
57. Many people have worse problems but prefer to  work it out
58. Not who is right but what is right
59. Control and change yourself to change your spouse.
60. Be faithful, do not have an affair, be committed to your own unique and special gift