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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Jobs/Vacancies / My Hillarious Job Hunting Story (3049 Views)
Inspiring Job Hunting Story:she Finally Got A Job After Over 50 Job Interviews / Unemployment - Why A Fool Is Always Successful In Job Hunting Than A Wise Man / My Experience Job Hunting At Linda Ikeji Media (2) (3) (4)
My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by 0luwatope(m): 5:28pm On Aug 18, 2015 |
Few days after I received a call from one lady while I was having my hair washed at a saloon. She told me my friend spoke to her about me and she requested we meet at a named 3 star hotel immediately or lose the ‘big opportunity’ for a job. With my hair still dripping wet, I dashed home and changed into something decent. As soon as I got there, someone directed me to the hotel’s garden. Seated there were 3 guys and a lady. All of them wore a yellow t-shirt and they were fiddling with a laptop. Oh, so I’m going to be registering SIM cards for MTN, I thought. The first question she asked was if I am a computer literate. “Yes” I quickly responded. “Great! I’m actually a HR officer. My client will conduct the interview herself but I had to meet you first to be sure I’m recommending the right person..” “I am the right person ma” I affirmed. “Are you born again??” She asked. That question knocked me off my feet. Judging from that, It was obvious I was going to be an accountant for Deeper Life Church. “Yes..I’m born again ma.” I replied trying not to mince words. “Beautiful!!” She exclaimed. “Your interview is going to be at No bla bla bla by 9am on Saturday…its a new plaza in town. I don’t need to go into the details of the job but I’m positive you’re going to love it. Send your CV to bla bla bla mail. Also make copies of all your credentials and take it along and pleases do something about that hair before Saturday. First impression matters you know.” she added. End of first interview. I heaved a sigh of relief and left the hotel. Friday morning, sickness struck. Headache, fever remixed with cold and catarrh. I contemplated between using the little money I had to make my hair or using the money to buy drugs and LIVE. “Make your hair, get the job and use your salary to buy a pharmacy.” The devil commanded. If I pass the interview, the sickness might disappear out of excitement, I thought. The next morning, I was on my way to the interview with the most painful Ghana braids on my hair. My bad health was not helping matters. To be honest, the malaria had me looking like a fairly used chicken. I also went with a Ghana must go bag of all my certificates (except my death certificate) only to realise it was a small ugly, stuffy bookshop without a standing/ceiling fan to cool down my temper. My temper at that point was capable of boiling yam for a family of 3. If I had my way, I would have tattooed the meaning of plaza on the HR forehead. Smh My potential employer had not arrived yet so I used the opportunity to peruse the books on a dusty shelf. A couple of Joyce Meyer books, books on wildlife, one Daily Manna devotional, Igbo men success stories books, history books, a couple of encyclopedia, and some other random boring looking books. By 9:30, Madam CEO arrived and the interview process commenced. She fired me a number of JAMB questions like she was sent to hire me as an accountant for Aso Rock. As God would have it, I impressed her. Then she began her speech… “This plastic chair you are sitting on is going to be your office. You are to report from Monday to Saturday and your job runs from 8am to 5pm.” Before I could utter, what time will I use to search for a husband then? She cut me and continued her cool story. “You are the customer care representative, office assistant, and marketer of this place.” Upon hearing that, I had to peep at the wall mirror to check whether I have three heads. Does this woman think my head is 3 in one or what? She went on… “You would also assist Lilian, the sales girl in drawing accounts. Every Wednesday is marketing days. You are to take some of the books to churches, banks and offices to sell them. These are nice books so its going to be easy for you. That should enable you network.” Wonderful! With this sort of job, my salary should be such that I would be able to ride a Buggati to my village in 6 months time. She was not done with me… As a customer care rep, you have to try to read all the books in this shop. People will call to request information about one book or the other that’s why.” My head harddrive had crashed upon hearing that. Are you kidding me? Woman, I don’t even read sign board these days! I didn’t want to hear more. “How much is my salary?” I deadpanned She paced around for a few seconds before dropping the bombshell. “Salary is N10,000!” The last time I checked, Nigeria abolished slavery. I broke into laughter. A laughter of misery and frustration. To add insult to the injury, she began to yak on how there are no jobs in Nigeria. In her words “I better accept the offer. People will kill to have this job.” Even if I were silly enough to take the shitty job, my transportation to and fro the bookshop was roughly N6000 a month. Tithe is 1k. Basically, I’ll go home with 3K every month at my age, stage and relationship status? Waste of Ghana braids! I just wanted to loosen my braids there in her office and force her to swallow the attachment. “Thank you madam for your offer!” I muttered. If I had spent an extra minute in there, I would have probably be tumbling down the book shelves. I packed what was left of my dignity and sicknesses and hurried out of her book kiosk. Credits: www.naijaloaded.ng Dedicated to: naijasinglegirl 14 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by Nobody: 5:37pm On Aug 18, 2015 |
I smiled, Would have given you that 10k if you were here for that.
Thank you for the free service anyway |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by ajasa4link: 5:37pm On Aug 18, 2015 |
Lol.... That is why as a job seeker after packaging ur documents when going for an interview u are advised to have ur juju ring always handy. So in case u get to the venue and u discover they are gnld or other time wasters like this one, u just beat the damn woman with ur juju ring except she gives u back ur transportation fare to and fro. Angama ko! 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by Nobody: 5:38pm On Aug 18, 2015 |
I have read this piece before. Op you didn't credit the writer! 2 Likes |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by divinehand2003(m): 5:40pm On Aug 18, 2015 |
Lol Hilariously hilarious my sister. Naija job search status go finish person ooo. |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by crystalzoe: 5:43pm On Aug 18, 2015 |
I hereby sue u for piracy. this write up belongs to naija single girl! 2 Likes |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by fortunateme: 5:55pm On Aug 18, 2015 |
Guy e b like say u don suffer for gnld hand o ajasa4link: |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by JayJustus(m): 6:24pm On Aug 18, 2015 |
hahahahaha... just so random... onismate I've found your partner in poetic crime 1 Like |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by gurunlocker: 6:32pm On Aug 18, 2015 |
ajasa4link:Lol.... I love this |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by benedima1990(m): 7:25pm On Aug 18, 2015 |
Please for Christ sake, are nigerian story writers moving forward or backward. What kind of non sense write up is this? It's not just different from those tade ogidan movie era,(1968) Before reading 5 lines of the page, I know exactly where you're driving to and lots of fake attachment that can never happen in reality. Anytime I c nigeria movies, I feels like selling the TV to aboki for #100. Seriously, we need to b creative in our story writing 2 Likes |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by Ramos16(m): 7:39pm On Aug 18, 2015 |
benedima1990:dude, calm down, whats is wrong with you man? how in any way is this a Nigerian movie, why not just get this kill joy attitude outta here, people want to see stuffs like this and just laugh nothing more, bro, com'on 12 Likes |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by sead(f): 7:49pm On Aug 18, 2015 |
laughed so hard dat my neighbors had to knock on my door if all was well...
op, u just made my day...lol 3 Likes |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by Greyworld: 8:16pm On Aug 18, 2015 |
benedima1990:Which 1 have yu written? Sad frog! 5 Likes |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by benedima1990(m): 8:19pm On Aug 18, 2015 |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by lilee2hot(f): 11:02pm On Aug 18, 2015 |
Totally Hilarious!!! 1 Like |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by sholay2011(m): 11:24pm On Aug 18, 2015 |
benedima1990:You sound ret.arded. 1 Like |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by swagdopey: 11:30pm On Aug 18, 2015 |
benedima1990: pls just try to be mature when next you are opportuned to comment on a forum. |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by seyilapy(m): 12:13am On Aug 19, 2015 |
Can't help laughing. Even the comments got me laughing. Atleast d write up reduced my stress level. Either it was copied or a 1968 movie I don't care it's aim was acheived. Thanks for lightening up ma nite. 1 Like |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by benedima1990(m): 8:48am On Aug 19, 2015 |
sholay2011: It's only retarded individual that knows their type. So I don't blame you |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by benedima1990(m): 8:50am On Aug 19, 2015 |
swagdopey: I fink everyone has the right to his/her own opinion, so you don't need to lecture me. Try to access yourself if you're better |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by swagdopey: 9:26am On Aug 19, 2015 |
benedima1990: sörry for d lecture. Thankz for the advice |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by benedima1990(m): 9:29am On Aug 19, 2015 |
swagdopey: Cool 1 Like |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by Pheals(f): 11:07am On Aug 19, 2015 |
Early this year or last year sha !! Seriously naijasinglegirl never post again ! Have read this before now ...so where are u |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by Pheals(f): 11:49am On Aug 19, 2015 |
benedima1990:Y post yours nah ...y criticising ,y won't u people gat satisfy |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by berildan(m): 12:37pm On Aug 19, 2015 |
benedima1990: It's at times like this I wish Nairaland had a thumb down icon. |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by Nobody: 2:15pm On Aug 19, 2015 |
To be honest this naijasinglewhatever has become stale,she needs to get innovative. 1 Like |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by siegfried99(m): 2:30pm On Aug 19, 2015 |
Lol |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by benedima1990(m): 2:46pm On Aug 19, 2015 |
fabiano09: Tot I was the only one having that notion Nairalanders don wan kill me with quote of abuses |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by kendraloops: 5:20pm On Aug 19, 2015 |
Sabrwahaqqo: hmm, I can collect the 10k on the Op's behalf. |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by Nobody: 9:40pm On Aug 19, 2015 |
kendraloops:Ehyah, only if u had said this some 30mins earlier, I don dash dah tipping to a stripper that was zipping my zipper.... But Can u wait till August 19, 2016? So that I can prepare that insyd my August 2016 budget? 1 Like |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by Naijasinglegirl: 12:53pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
Pheals:SMH. See how they stole my story. Thanks love |
Re: My Hillarious Job Hunting Story by readone2018(m): 8:42am On Jan 13, 2019 |
nice... <a href="http://www.gbextra.com.ng">kindly check for more</a> http://www.gbextra.com.ng 0luwatope: |
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