Intro: Me(gentle 18 year old boy) and my mom(stubborn woman) living in an estate in Ondo state.

2:20am: I checked my inbox hoping to see a birthday greeting(sms) but i was disapointed on seeing two messages from 33350 that says "Answer this question to win 10million naira. Nigeria has how many states? Sms cost 100naira" while the other was from 33110 that says "Do you know the current president of Nigeria is Muhammad Buhari".

2:30am: I called my girlfriend who always thinks i am double dating but wasn't reacheable so i called one of my nigga(the funny one).

4:05am: My girlfriend called me 8 different times which i didn't noticed until the time was 4:33am and i didn't bothered myself about it

4:40am: my girlfriend called me and said, " i called you almost 20 times and you ignored me", my reply was "ahhn ahhn, you called me 8 times now". Girls can lie....

5:30am: I received a text from my girlfriend thinking it was a birthday sms, on opening it reads, "you were even counting the no. of times i called? I hate you, i hate cheaters". I was like what!! On my birthday... I slept off few minutes later

7:30am: My mum woke me up and told me my food is already on fire and i should watch over it. She was going somewhere so i wen't to the sitting room, felt dizzy and relaxed on the sofa.

9:20: I perceived the aroma of a roasted yam. I jumped off the sofa and went straight to the kitchen to discover that the pot has turned to hell fire. All i could do is dispose the pot and its contents.

10:02am: I wen't out to buy some food to eat. After the meal, i was stoped by neigbours and i was bathed with sachet water, la Casera, youghurt and the likes all in the name of celebrating birthday(broke niggas celebration).

2:10pm: My mom was back so she sent me on an errand to get her some materials. I can drive so i took her car. On my way, i met the nigerian policemen and they stopped me, i was guilty of almost 7 offences which two of them was that we bought a fake fire extinguisher and the pointer is blinking too slow. My mom's car was seized during the process.

3:15pm: I went home with fear in my heart. When i got home, my mom had already went out. All i could do is to start an emergency prayer session

6:30pm: My mom came back and i told her what happened, during that process, my girlfriend called me. I dare not pick it. Like seriously, I dare not

7:58pm: We bailed out our car with a huge sum of money, i was just speechless. Even when my mom farted inside the car, i didn't move an inch, not even looking sideways or rolling down the side window. I gently perceived all the odour because i just don't want abuses from my mom.

9:00pm: After dinner, i felt i just had the worst birthday ever. I was about to sleep when my girlfriend called me, i picked it up and wanted to narrate all what happened but she interrupted me with, "shut up, do you know you are an idiot? I have been..." i just hanged up, hissed, swiched off the phone, hissed again, threw the phone under my bed and wen't to sleep.

Niggaz, my birthday is on 26th of august oo.
Wish me well.

#funny. And what were you thinking (your mum is a stubborn woman). Which kind child you be. anyways,wishing you the best.Hbd in advance

HBD In advance dear