I'm a muslim to the core even though i might not be 100% righteous and dedicated but i make sure that i observe my five-time daily obligatory prayers. I have so many challenges in my life which are keeping me tied down and stagnant without any progress/ headway whatsoever. I'm from a polygamous family, i attended one of the highly revered arabic schools in Lagos, i graduated from there and immediately gained admission into a higher institution which i graduated from in flying colours, i finished service and i searched the nooks and crannies of Ogun&Lagos States for job but to no avail. I decided to learn printing works which i'm also through with after one and a half years of apprenticeship, but here i am still living in my father's house without anyone to help or assist. What i noticed about myself is that i used to have wet dreams, i mean i dream of having sex with different strange women in my sleep even in the broad day light right from when i was still in the arabic school about 16 years ago but didn't take it as something serious, i remember somebody told me it was a sign of puberty. I will be 31 this month and i have no girlfriend let alone getting married but almost 75% of my mates both in arabic school and higher institution are already married. I really pity myself and i feel bothered by the day. Pls help me my dear brothers and sisters in Islam, how did you overcome your own challenges and how do i get out of this, because enough is enough, i must see positive changes in my life this year. Jazaakumul-lahu khairal-jazai.

Assalaamu alaykum, brother. Just to chip in my thought.
From my own experience, I think the solution is just to learn to be patient with your trials. Also, there is a good reason Allaah is doing this to you. This your affliction(s) has its own huge benefit(s) which I believe you know. Then seek comfort in the benefits. Your problem is/was similar to mine because i can see from your write up that you are most concerned about your financial situation and lack of spouse. Lol. And I know you must have done all sort of things to rid urself of these problems like nakalis, perharps iso oru (church night vigil), Sihr etc. I was great helped by reading books of Sheikh AbdulQadir Jilani and Imam Ghazali. These people are scholars that specialize in guiding the heart to its happiness and contentment by putting this worthless duniya in its proper perspective. pls call 08091277083, if you can for further discussion. And pls forget that dream. I also spent years speculating about the source of my problems referring back to incidences in my childhood. Bro, its an endless, futile pursuit. If u see all as Qul kullun min indi llaah (you can understand this I reckon), then you are on a sure road to peace in this life and next.

kazlaw2000:
Assalaamu alaykum, brother. Just to chip in my thought.
From my own experience, I think the solution is just to learn to be patient with your trials. Also, there is a good reason Allaah is doing this to you. This your affliction(s) has its own huge benefit(s) which I believe you know. Then seek comfort in the benefits. Your problem is/was similar to mine because i can see from your write up that you are most concerned about your financial situation and lack of spouse. Lol. And I know you must have done all sort of things to rid urself of these problems like nakalis, perharps iso oru (church night vigil), Sihr etc. I was great helped by reading books of Sheikh AbdulQadir Jilani and Imam Ghazali. These people are scholars that specialize in guiding the heart to its happiness and contentment by putting this worthless duniya in its proper perspective. pls call 08091277083, if you can for further discussion. And pls forget that dream. I also spent years speculating about the source of my problems referring back to incidences in my childhood. Bro, its an endless, futile pursuit. If u see all as Qul kullun min indi llaah (you can understand this I reckon), then you are on a sure road to peace in this life and next.

Thanks a whole lot, i so much appreciate, may Allah reward you abundantly.

Hmmm... May Allah(SWT) in His infinite mercy ease all our tasks (Amin). You can take the following steps:

1. Look for a job or jobs that will be earning you income.
Unemployment, unemployment, unemployment... Actually, what we have is under-employment. You can always find something to do to for a living, although, the income may not be enough. Start from somewhere please. The work may not even be related to what you studied in school. You may even take up two or more part-time works. Use that as stepping stone for a better job.

A lot of people are unemployed today not because there are no jobs but because they feel they are too big for some jobs. I'm almost 100% sure that there are things you can do to make a living. I mean halal things. Think of so many things you can do and choose may be one, two or three from them and start from somewhere.

A lot of able men are out there who are bus conductors, drivers, keke marwa drivers, part-time teachers, home lesson teachers, scavengers, 'alabaru', cleaners, petty traders e.g buying and selling of 'pure water'/recharge cards', gatemen, security men, street sweepers, waste packers(Lawma), attendants, etc. In fact, some of them are university graduates! Remember "Dignity of Labour". It is better and more rewarding in the sight of Allah(SWT) to struggle to work for livelihood than being idle and constituting nuisance to the society. Please, start from somewhere no matter how little it is.

2. Plan towards having your own private apartment even if it a single room. Try to save for that from your earning. In fact, you can seek financial assistance from people to get the room. It is not haram. With your little income, you can sustain the pay rent. From there, you will move to a bigger appartment Insha Allah.

3.On the issue of wet-dream, it is a normal physiological process since you are not yet married and you do not involve yourself in boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Alhamdulillah! Remain patient and be prayerful. However, you can start searching for your wife now. Don't wait until you secure white collar job. With whatever income you are earning, your wife will always support and stay by you. Just put it in prayer. If you are waiting for the government to provide job for you before getting married, then, you will be making a great mistake.

4. Seek Allah's guidance on these and it will be well Insha Allah.

MrOlai:
Hmmm... May Allah(SWT) in His infinite mercy ease all our tasks (Amin). You can take the following steps:

1. Look for a job or jobs that will be earning you income.
Unemployment, unemployment, unemployment... Actually, what we have is under-employment. You can always find something to do to for a living, although, the income may not be enough. Start from somewhere please. The work may not even be related to what you studied in school. You may even take up two or more part-time works. Use that as stepping stone for a better job.

A lot of people are unemployed today not because there are no jobs but because they feel they are too big for some jobs. I'm almost 100% sure that there are things you can do to make a living. I mean halal things. Think of so many things you can do and choose may be one, two or three from them and start from somewhere.

A lot of able men are out there who are bus conductors, drivers, keke marwa drivers, part-time teachers, home lesson teachers, scavengers, 'alabaru', cleaners, petty traders e.g buying and selling of 'pure water'/recharge cards', gatemen, security men, street sweepers, waste packers(Lawma), attendants, etc. In fact, some of them are university graduates! Remember "Dignity of Labour". It is better and more rewarding in the sight of Allah(SWT) to struggle to work for livelihood than being idle and constituting nuisance to the society. Please, start from somewhere no matter how little it is.

2. Plan towards having your own private apartment even if it a single room. Try to save for that from your earning. In fact, you can seek financial assistance from people to get the room. It is not haram. With your little income, you can sustain the pay rent. From there, you will move to a bigger appartment Insha Allah.

3.On the issue of wet-dream, it is a normal physiological process since you are not yet married and you do not involve yourself in boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Alhamdulillah! Remain patient and be prayerful. However, you can start searching for your wife now. Don't wait until you secure white collar job. With whatever income you are earning, your wife will always support and stay by you. Just put it in prayer. If you are waiting for the government to provide job for you before getting married, then, you will be making a great mistake.

4. Seek Allah's guidance on these and it will be well Insha Allah.

Thank you so very much, may God bless you.

What are you doing with the printing skill you have acquired?

G

Most times we are the architect of our own misfortune, we tend to believe someone or something is behind our predicaments.

Allah never promised that our lives will be smooth sailing, but he did promise to change our life for the better if we call on him.

Poster, i hope you understand my position.

Get up gaddamnit !!!


31 ? All I see is a lazy-one.

M no muslim but I can relate to this. To be honest u have to shift abit outta the whole religious thang and get yourself dating (fine from your religious enviroment)


All in all : get up, get busy.
Btw...leave yor parents house now, u are more focused that way.


Goodluck insha allah (I hope I got that right)

A lot of muslim youths are facing a similar challenges like yours,the advices given to you by muslims b4 me are nice ones. Just know that islam is not trade by batter for the fact that u say ur 5daily solat does not mean things should go fine for you.just be prayerful and steadfast in ur good deeds.i pray ALLAH help you

Not only u is in dat kind situation.May Allah intervention comes

thesource:
Thank you so very much, may God bless you.

just had to comment on this for you are my birthday mate sir.am 28th August our birthdays on Friday next week.

Sir you are not alone if it's marriage partner I can hook you up with a 31 year old lady she is a teacher.we stay close am at abule egba.


but I am also seeking for jobs that Is my challenge.but I believe in God almighty.sir you can get my number for the hookup

@ poster i understand your plight , i can assure you are still on the way . all you need is how to convert your skill to fetch you income .

first of all, change that enviroment. you can move to where accomodation is cheaper (a room). from their you will have straight thinking.

Then lay your hands on any available job e.g teaching...you can use part of the income to get barner,handbills and create awareness of yuor skill (printing). ....more doors will open insha ALLAH....

Jimdonnet:


just had to comment on this for you are my birthday mate sir.am 28th August our birthdays on Friday next week.

Sir you are not alone if it's marriage partner I can hook you up with a 31 year old lady she is a teacher.we stay close am at abule egba.


but I am also seeking for jobs that Is my challenge.but I believe in God almighty.sir you can get my number for the hookup

thank you so much for your comment, may almighty Allah reward you. And as for the hook up, i'm very interested, are you on whatsapp?

Alekum Salaam,
May be you can learn from my situation,

1. I also come from a Polygamous family and I would not exchange my family experience for another one. Coming from Polygamous family is not an hindrance in life!. It enriches our experience in life and make us stronger. Clear your minds of bad thought about your step mums and siblings, they are more often than not trapped in the same situation as you are.

2. Having wet dreams is not unusual for a grown up man that is not married and the fact that you have been experiencing it since puberty only shows that you are sexually active and ok. Nothing is wrong with you. Men body is designed to get rid of sperms one way or the other anyway!. I also used to have wet dreams, even with all sought of witches that my mind could conjourn then. This continued until I got married. Only marriage and fasting can reduce your level of wet dreams.

3. That you are unemployed even after graduation and training in printing press, is nothing. I am a graduate of Mechanical Engineering. After graduation, I bought three 80 leave higher education notebook, (It was a common notebook in those days) and used all of it to apply for all companies that were listed on the yellow page that I feel relate to my field. (That is doing my part). Of courese nothing was forth coming, so I offered myself as a lesson teacher in an afternoon lesson. did that for some time, then offered myself to be giving private lesson to Abdul rahman, the son of a commissioner in Yola where I was serving. Note that, I only got to know AbdulRahman's father in the mosque as i am Yoruba and they are fulani. I only marketed myself to him. After service, I took up a teaching job briefly in a private secondary school. I later moved on to to work in a plastic moulding company, I was the most qualified person in that company with less than 10k as salary. But I was not Idle and I was gathering experience to put in my CV. This was how I started jumping from job to job.

All you need do is to start from somewhere, there is always something to do!. It may not be an ideal job but never be idle, this is the lesson, I learn since I was small. My dad, is an afaa, imam, a weaver, and a mualim (arabic teacher) in a primary school.

4. Top of it all, PRAY and PRAY to Allah with unwavering faith that your prayers will be answered. Perhaps it is your lack of Iman, believing that you are handicapped that has made you unsuccessful. No one is responsible for your predicament, but yourself.!! When you are ready to get out of it, Pray to Allah and He will answer you.

5. May Almighty Allah, grant you wisdom, may he grant you the wherewithal to to see the oppurtunities that are available for you and to strengthene you to be able to take it. I pray that Allah, grant you ailment in whatever ailments that may be afflicting you.

May Allah forgive me and forgive you.

Laid2001:
Alekum Salaam,
May be you can learn from my situation,

1. I also come from a Polygamous family and I would not exchange my family experience for another one. Coming from Polygamous family is not an hindrance in life!. It enriches our experience in life and make us stronger. Clear your minds of bad thought about your step mums and siblings, they are more often than not trapped in the same situation as you are.

2. Having wet dreams is not unusual for a grown up man that is not married and the fact that you have been experiencing it since puberty only shows that you are sexually active and ok. Nothing is wrong with you. Men body is designed to get rid of sperms one way or the other anyway!. I also used to have wet dreams, even with all sought of witches that my mind could conjourn then. This continued until I got married. Only marriage and fasting can reduce your level of wet dreams.

3. That you are unemployed even after graduation and training in printing press, is nothing. I am a graduate of Mechanical Engineering. After graduation, I bought three 80 leave higher education notebook, (It was a common notebook in those days) and used all of it to apply for all companies that were listed on the yellow page that I feel relate to my field. (That is doing my part). Of courese nothing was forth coming, so I offered myself as a lesson teacher in an afternoon lesson. did that for some time, then offered myself to be giving private lesson to Abdul rahman, the son of a commissioner in Yola where I was serving. Note that, I only got to know AbdulRahman's father in the mosque as i am Yoruba and they are fulani. I only marketed myself to him. After service, I took up a teaching job briefly in a private secondary school. I later moved on to to work in a plastic moulding company, I was the most qualified person in that company with less than 10k as salary. But I was not Idle and I was gathering experience to put in my CV. This was how I started jumping from job to job.

All you need do is to start from somewhere, there is always something to do!. It may not be an ideal job but never be idle, this is the lesson, I learn since I was small. My dad, is an afaa, imam, a weaver, and a mualim (arabic teacher) in a primary school.

4. Top of it all, PRAY and PRAY to Allah with unwavering faith that your prayers will be answered. Perhaps it is your lack of Iman, believing that you are handicapped that has made you unsuccessful. No one is responsible for your predicament, but yourself.!! When you are ready to get out of it, Pray to Allah and He will answer you.

5. May Almighty Allah, grant you wisdom, may he grant you the wherewithal to to see the oppurtunities that are available for you and to strengthene you to be able to take it. I pray that Allah, grant you ailment in whatever ailments that may be afflicting you.

May Allah forgive me and forgive you.

Ameen, i don't even know how to thank you. Honestly, i can't thank you enough but, may almighty Allah in His infinite mercy continue to bless you and your entire family. Once again, thank you, thank you and thank you.

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Asalam Alaykun brothers
Alhamdulilah we have well cultured and quite intelligent brothers here and they have carefully pulled out answers..i second to laid2001..i'll advice u read through his write up. We all have our own challenges and ways we overcame them..Pls dont see yourself doing a menial job as suffering of some sort. its just a phase and it will pass. i never taught i was gonna see myself working in a warehouse as a lower level contract staff as a graduate but i just kept my mind open has much has i can and i was hopeful till i got something better. i still hope for something.1st u need to get your mind off fetish beliefs..Like my fellow muslims said about the wet dreams earlier its bound to happen sine u're not married and u dont keep up with dating girls. If i try to relate with your story well, i can deduce you might as well be an introvert cos if u market yourself well u either get printing jobs or at worst menial jobs. you also dont have access to information about all kinds of job openings and am not talking about jobberman here..am still referring to jobs from friends though..so pls pray and ask God for guidance..sometimes its possible that u're a devote but still have some bad habits you haven't gotten over too. Move with fellow brothers in your area,talk to them am very sure someone would feel deem to help you just like a brother hooking u up with a sister already.. Allahu alam. May Allah strengthen our iman and count us among the worthy ones this world and hereafter.. May He forgive our shortcomings and uplift us from our predicaments so we can propagate islam as believers.. Asalam Alaykun


and laid2001 if u dont mind can we connect?

As Salam Alaikum Waramotullahi Wabarakatuhu. My Brother in Islam, most of the responses earlier were great. It's a very big mistake to believe your wet dream is from witches or your enemies. Do for the sunnah recommended for Muslims particularly unmarried matured Muslims. Fasting on Monday and Thursday will reduce your sexual urge, your eating pattern, don't eat late and avoid certain food that will trigger hormones responsible for sexual urge especially at night. Do you observe your 5 daily prayers regularly? Do you keeps your eyes away from obscene views? How do lay on your bed? Do recites Ayyatal Qurisiyyu, Suratul Iklas, Falafel and Nasi. Kindly treat yourself of chronic pile. If you can do all these I believe your wet dream will be cured. Try as much as possible to get a job no matter how little the pay is. It is the employed that will always get more employment opportunities because of contact and exposure. Finally get yourself the book called Citadel of Believers it not up N200 it will be very useful. Your TAHAJUD most be constant and regular even if it is just for 20Minutes. May ALLAH (SWT) guide us right Ameen. Maa Salam

Housing:
As Salam Alaikum Waramotullahi Wabarakatuhu. My Brother in Islam, most of the responses earlier were great. It's a very big mistake to believe your wet dream is from witches or your enemies. Do for the sunnah recommended for Muslims particularly unmarried matured Muslims. Fasting on Monday and Thursday will reduce your sexual urge, your eating pattern, don't eat late and avoid certain food that will trigger hormones responsible for sexual urge especially at night. Do you observe your 5 daily prayers regularly? Do you keeps your eyes away from obscene views? How do lay on your bed? Do recites Ayyatal Qurisiyyu, Suratul Iklas, Falafel and Nasi. Kindly treat yourself of chronic pile. If you can do all these I believe your wet dream will be cured. Try as much as possible to get a job no matter how little the pay is. It is the employed that will always get more employment opportunities because of contact and exposure. Finally get yourself the book called Citadel of Believers it not up N200 it will be very useful. Your TAHAJUD most be constant and regular even if it is just for 20Minutes. May ALLAH (SWT) guide us right Ameen. Maa Salam

thanks

thesource:
Thank you so very much, may God bless you.

Amin my brother. May Allah(SWT) bless you too.

MrOlai:

Amin my brother. May Allah(SWT) bless you too.

Ameen

Wa alaikum salam. I feel you beyond your explanation but my advise for you is to shake off any depression and live ur life. Pray and get urself busy. For every difficulty comes relief, insha Allah.

Kakayaraznits:
Wa alaikum salam. I feel you beyond your explanation but my advise for you is to shake off any depression and live ur life. Pray and get urself busy. For every difficulty comes relief, insha Allah.

thanks a lot