donephi:


Are there men of such?
Well then there is more to it than just that.

freecocoa:
I think if he can be put off by such, then he is not the one. That's for women like myself anyways.

MizMyColi:

cococandy:

Probably for the best I guess.

if the woman ever does, then that's because she sees him as not MAN enough and wants to carry his load for him.

cococandy:


Yea some people are particularly traditional.

donephi:

Traditional?
And his traditional mentality is only on this?
How come he has gone past tradition as regards his mode of dressing, shelter but this?
NB;
Men who see this as tradition are very POSSESIVE. Your opinion nor feelings are not valid in his life, you are only there to ans and not question his orders.

cococandy:


Things change one step at a time.
I wouldn't consider a man who holds onto such tradition of proposal as very possessive or inconsiderate about the lady's feelings. Why? Because it is still a very wide spread tradition in many parts of the world. You can't really call him a control freak for still holding onto traditions that happen around him everyday with few if any exceptions.



Where's he to get the idea that it's actually okay if he hasn't seen people do it without dying of emasculation?

But with time, as it happens with many things, it will become more common place and many of them will not find it odd or emasculating that the lady proposes.
Then you can judge him if you want

donephi:


This happens everyday if u must knw, it must not be verbally, ladies propose to guy by their actions this days, which is widely known by u and me.
Is not so conspicuous Becos it's not verbal but is very pronounced by actions.
Accept this change after all we are in the era of change. Change with it

cococandy:


Accept change? Hello meet the president of the club.


I'm only asking that you don't judge those who aren't flowing as fast as others too harshly.
I know ladies propose subtly all the time. But Subtle proposal and the direct one aren't exactly the same. It will take some time to transition into that seamlessly.

freecocoa:
Why does it remind you of me oga pick?

pickabeau1:


I think it resonates with a lot of what you say about women having a more direct input in relationship directions

tohpahz:
Hnmmmm..

Personally

I can propose to a guy.(subtly ) i don't hv to buy the ring and do a surprise waheva for it. It's just by dropping hints, and the guy had bera pick up on them. .. i see Nothing big in it..

But traditionally we are used to the fact that a guy must be the one to propose.

I agree partially with d part that said something abt the guy bin ready before he proposes.
Well it depends on ur understanding of the guy... he might not be bold enough so u gotta lead him on as the lady.

UjSizzle:
Nah. If a guy wants to get married, he's got to pop the question. If he's dragging there are subtle ways to get him moving. If he doesn't understand subtlety, there are more in-your-face options

I do know some men don't like women proposing to them, and I haven't seen who likes it around here.

freecocoa:
I don't see why not, women propose to men all the time, they just don't know it, the fact that they don't usually go on bended knee to do it, doesn't mean they don't initiate it.

Before a lady even gets the proposal, it's usually already clear where the relationship is headed most times, so I don't see what difference it makes who proposes.

edwife:


You didn't disappoint,you are among the few i believe whenever i read something from you,especially of this nature.

pickabeau1:
Kimoni

I am just wondering why you think there are inconsistencies

We are equal
Man can propose
Women should too...


Crackhaus...superb post

the priest angle is funny

Na picture them go use do d jazz

Godpikin4:
Trouble maker

crackhaus:

Reveal yourself

Tgirl4real:
By proposing are we referring to starting a marriage discussion?

Cos I don't get how this will play out o. Will the girl walk up to the guys and ask "darl, you are all I dream of in a man will you marry me?" Kneels bent with ring in one hand. Hehehehe

pickabeau1:
Kimoni

I am just wondering why you think there are inconsistencies

We are equal
Man can propose
Women should too...


Crackhaus...superb post

the priest angle is funny

Na picture them go use do d jazz

crackhaus:
As far as the Nigerian system of marriage is concerned, it isn't quite logical for the woman to propose - it could very work in other places where men are not required to make traditional gestures to the intending wife's family.

I mean, so after she proposes, what happens next?
Isn't it the man that still gets to spend hundreds of thousands (even millions buying tubers of yams and drinks that her ancestors don't need?

Let's be honest, the dynamics doesn't just work with the way we go about our marriages in Nigeria.
This does not mean that any woman who feels the need to propose shouldn't go for it, she just needs to understand that she backs her man into a tight corner by so-doing...then there's also the fact that women don't handle rejection as good as men do.

A NO from that man will send her into depression and shock faster than 5000volts of lightning will do - and God help that man if she's someone like Sambarry, she will even end up taking the man's hair to her babalawo to make sure he never gets married to anyone else.

crackhaus:

Yes o, plus picture sef.

A Nigerian woman proposes and you refuse...omo na to sleep with one eye open that night.

Kimoni:

Not inconsistencies...contrary opinions. Some for, some against