osifred:


Tell me my friend if for some reason unknown to you your child of 8 start urinating inside your fridge which of this strategies as listed above will you use to handle the child?

agarawu23:
There is know how you can train nowadays kids without flogging. You wanna seat a 2yr old kid huh? Wetin you wan tell am

midolian:
I don't know how else to qualify it other than child abuse, buh its worse than that. Beating/caning/spanking is much worse than child abuse. I was a victim of this..and to be frank, it hasn't helped me in anyway. It causes only makes one stubborn, apart from the physical harm it may cause..(I ve got a nike scar on my hand to show whoeva is interested)

I believe there are a million and one ways to discipline a child other than flogging him/her like a horse...Some ways that work are; witholding privileges, rewarding them for some of the good things they do OR telling them the possible rewards that comes after every good thing they do and repeatedly telling them the consequences of the bad things they do, and by practicing what you(the parent) preach ..

histemple:
There is no generally endorsed procedure for training a child. Just like all marriages are different and requires different approach that suits each, so it is for punishing or correcting a child.

We must also understand that DIALOGUE is another form of correcting/punishing a child

More so, the age of the child should be considered. It's is senseless to whip a 18-year-old-------if conversation can't work at that age, only prayers can. There is no point advising a baby of 2 years old always--------Whipping may serve better for such, sometimes.

Just imagine if we were not whipped in nursery / primary and junior secondary schools. Now why is it a taboo to whip an undergraduate? The answer is simple------different approaches based on age.

We must also know that punishment is only intended to CORRECT the child. It makes no sense if the child is only made to feel excruciating pains without getting the message.

We must also guide against the following;
----Making the child to lose self confidence.
----Creating so much fears in the child.
----Making the child to be happier when you are away.
----Not letting the child know when he/she is being punished.

As we must correct erring child, we must also understand that certain traits must be pardoned as they are natural and normal within some age bracket.

Jollyjoy:
Whipping is not the best way to discipline children especially teens, the best you can do is to sit them down and talk to them..make them understand life isnt all that rosy....whipping in my own opinion shld be limited to children below 16.....

Jollyjoy:
Whipping is not the best way to discipline children especially teens, the best you can do is to sit them down and talk to them..make them understand life isnt all that rosy....whipping in my own opinion shld be limited to children below 16.....

Luckymay:

solidly behind u. Xpecially dat whipping, i still remember mum flogging me even at age 17 infront of my younger ones. Its very demeaning.

Jollyjoy:
yours is even better...dad actually thrashed me @age 19,an incident that has remained ever green in my memory.....chaii...to think my frnd was even there!!

Ugosample:


This is so true. One of the very bad effects of beating is that it ruins the self esteem of the child in question that drags on into adulthood

Luckymay:

oh my God. Dats even worse. Anyways those days are gone now

CLeAtHead:

I only believe in smacking and that's rarely. Corporal punishments have no place in this new generation full of rebels. I find "Grounding" Them is more effective

CLeAtHead:

I only believe in smacking and that's rarely. Corporal punishments have no place in this new generation full of rebels. I find "Grounding" Them is more effective

osifred:


Tell me my friend if for some reason unknown to you your child of 8 start urinating inside your fridge which of this strategies as listed above will you use to handle the child?

missgray:
I think whipping a child always isn't the best, they might get resistant and used to it. When we were kids, my mum spanks us alot when we do something wrong, what amazes me is how she never got tired of doing it. The whips only comes once in awhile from my dad when she reports to him . That man doesn't pity . Instead we will resort to begging our mum while crying " mummy pls beg daddy, we will not do it again" good old memories. Now we are all grown and responsible ladies and gentlemen when it comes to parenting, nigerian parents dont kid with this verse of the bible..proverb 13:24

mutter:
Mostly parent beat children because they have no other means of asserting their authority over a child. However a child should acknowledge your authority without being in fear of a violent attack.
We often make mistakes by starting too late with discipline but by age three a child should clearly be able to identify that it better listen to mum and dad.
Many roads lead to rome but why choose the aggressive road! Growing up it seemed quite natural to beat children but later I came to realize that it was abuse and nothing else.
When my kids do something wrong they are really scared of me because my God I don't stop talking. I can go on for over an hour and might decide to repeat the lecture two times in a day going on for several days
That lecture will include God and man, Bible, proverbs, history and you can just see the agony on the teenagers face when I go on talking and talking and preaching. Especially as they have heard most of it before. It works miracles.
Also you need to give teenagers some amount of freedom and a healthy amount of thrust. We parents think it must always go our way! IT mustn't. Listen to their views and compromise with them. It works miracles. My kids know there are some topics I don't compromise about but i I ask you to clean your room and you tell me you are not in the mood , you want to do it later, then why not! Even adults are sometimes not in the mood. And when it comes to decisions about their future- it is their future and not yours so they also have a say.
Most time we have a problem reaching to our children because they don't thrust us.
I remember once my teenage son came up to me and told me he thought his girlfriend was pregnant!
Inside I was screaming loud!!!!! Oh God ! How could you! How dare you! Are you already intimate with a girl! I could just get up and shake you!
But I had to tie myself down.. keep calm! He confided in you! Don't betray the thrust! Well thank God it ended up being a false alarm but I sat two of them down and gave them a serious talk.
The same applies to girls. The best way to keep a girl decent is to boost her self esteem. Make her know she is a queen and worthy of love and respect. Cater for her financial needs to the best of your ability and show he love so she doesn't go out in search of it.
The greatest factor why children go astray is because they are unhappy at home. Then they go to the wrong friends and feel they have a family and are loved. That is why it is so important that children have a happy home, a home where there is peace and they always want to come back to.
Love your kids that is what they need above all else and express that love. Also learn to have fun with your kid`s, laugh crack jokes do things together. You looses some of the "respect" but you gain something special. A child that thrust you .
And most importantly, when a child has done something really wrong! When it has fallen into the well... then help the child out and give love , support and understanding they will respect you more for it.
Some parents really go crazy when the child has committed something serious. The child is in big problem and then you add to it. Where does the child find shelter. That is the time to show the child love and support it to stand up and walk proud.

agarawu23:
There is know how you can train nowadays kids without flogging. You wanna seat a 2yr old kid huh? Wetin you wan tell am

Sabrwahaqqo:
A parent should rather be a good example, Be available as a friend and confidant for a child not a boss , Be caring and loving not mean and harsh before the child grows wings and develop a defense strategy to beat the parent's tough display.
For a child who has the parent as the love af his/her life, He would be free to share problems like he would with his best friend and would automatically guard against doing things that would hurt the feelings of the parent. Even if the child will have excesses it won't be terribly bad to arouse worry, simple 'I don't like that you did' solves the issue ...

As for the teen that lacked good parental care and guidance when he was a kid, beating won't help at all, condemnation or shouting at the young lad won't , Infact talking sense won't do the job 100 too.


However , its never too late to show love. . Tha LOVE, CARE and ATTENTION the teen lacked as a kid can actually be injected steadily and patiently into the child. With patience, the child will respond in the affirmative I believe . You don't have to hit , shout at , insult or condemn. Just calm down and be your child's friend.

mutter:
Mostly parent beat children because they have no other means of asserting their authority over a child. However a child should acknowledge your authority without being in fear of a violent attack.
We often make mistakes by starting too late with discipline but by age three a child should clearly be able to identify that it better listen to mum and dad.
Many roads lead to rome but why choose the aggressive road! Growing up it seemed quite natural to beat children but later I came to realize that it was abuse and nothing else.
When my kids do something wrong they are really scared of me because my God I don't stop talking. I can go on for over an hour and might decide to repeat the lecture two times in a day going on for several days
That lecture will include God and man, Bible, proverbs, history and you can just see the agony on the teenagers face when I go on talking and talking and preaching. Especially as they have heard most of it before. It works miracles.
Also you need to give teenagers some amount of freedom and a healthy amount of thrust. We parents think it must always go our way! IT mustn't. Listen to their views and compromise with them. It works miracles. My kids know there are some topics I don't compromise about but i I ask you to clean your room and you tell me you are not in the mood , you want to do it later, then why not! Even adults are sometimes not in the mood. And when it comes to decisions about their future- it is their future and not yours so they also have a say.
Most time we have a problem reaching to our children because they don't thrust us.
I remember once my teenage son came up to me and told me he thought his girlfriend was pregnant!
Inside I was screaming loud!!!!! Oh God ! How could you! How dare you! Are you already intimate with a girl! I could just get up and shake you!
But I had to tie myself down.. keep calm! He confided in you! Don't betray the thrust! Well thank God it ended up being a false alarm but I sat two of them down and gave them a serious talk.
The same applies to girls. The best way to keep a girl decent is to boost her self esteem. Make her know she is a queen and worthy of love and respect. Cater for her financial needs to the best of your ability and show he love so she doesn't go out in search of it.
The greatest factor why children go astray is because they are unhappy at home. Then they go to the wrong friends and feel they have a family and are loved. That is why it is so important that children have a happy home, a home where there is peace and they always want to come back to.
Love your kids that is what they need above all else and express that love. Also learn to have fun with your kid`s, laugh crack jokes do things together. You looses some of the "respect" but you gain something special. A child that thrust you .
And most importantly, when a child has done something really wrong! When it has fallen into the well... then help the child out and give love , support and understanding they will respect you more for it.
Some parents really go crazy when the child has committed something serious. The child is in big problem and then you add to it. Where does the child find shelter. That is the time to show the child love and support it to stand up and walk proud.

Jollyjoy:
it does nt ruin any self esteem mr....whipping a child below 16 might point out his wrong on the other hand,it useless flogging a child above that cos it might nt have an impact on him.....i think self esteem have to do with exposure....my opinion tho.

kITATITA:
Don't even compare Nigeria with America.
I tell you that Nigeria is a more violent society than America. Lawless Nigerians would lynch a pickpocket or someone accused of witchcraft without bathing an eyelid. I shudder to think what would happen if Nigerians have access to guns like we have in America. You can't even drive out of your Nigerian neighborhood at 11pm.

Jollyjoy:
Whipping is not the best way to discipline children especially teens, the best you can do is to sit them down and talk to them..make them understand life isnt all that rosy....whipping in my own opinion shld be limited to children below 16.....

Renylee:
spare the rod.....

Spoil the rod, kill the child








you know the rest.

kITATITA:
Don't even compare Nigeria with America.
I tell you that Nigeria is a more violent society than America. Lawless Nigerians would lynch a pickpocket or someone accused of witchcraft without bathing an eyelid. I shudder to think what would happen if Nigerians have access to guns like we have in America. You can't even drive out of your Nigerian neighborhood at 11pm.