A man came to congratulate his friend on his new office. As he was admiring the office, he came across a life sized bronze statue of a man, labelled "dont touch".
But out of curiousity, he placed his little finger on it, & immediatly, the statue opened its eyes!

And started to chase dis man, the man ran down the stairs straight into a cab! But the statue increased its speed & kept chasing the cab!
The fuel in the cab, eventually finished & the man got down and ran into a train, @ the last bustop, he met the statue waiting for him, so he hopped on a motorcycle and sped to the airport, where he quickly boarded a plane abt to take off.
30 mins into the flight, he saw the same statue approaching him.
So he took the nearest parachute and jumped out the window!

Still find it difficult to laugh

Wait na!

Immediatly the man touched ground, he saw the statue from afar chasing him!
So he started to run, as fast as his legs could carry him!
And after running for 3 hrs, he discovered dat the statue was still chasing him & was abt to catch him.
Exhausted and thirsty from the chase, he fell down, panting and waited for the worst to happen.

But to his suprise, when the creature caught up with him, it only touched his hand & shouted "i touch you back"

&
started sprinting back to its masters office!

Dat was when he realised that it was a game all along

bcus d man ran for 3 hrs it took u 8hrs to complete an essay not up to 1000 words na real wah 4 u

him problm com compound as e no do summmary 4 sec sch

habaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa d joke was gud though nt really funny.

Vex not wit me!
Na phone i take write am

Once there were two twins, Joe and John. Joe was the owner of a dilapidated old boat, which sank the same day that John's wife died. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Joe and mistook him for John.
"I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible."
"Hell, no! In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water, she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle."

Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake were walking along the beach. Suddenly, Justin says, "Aww, Britney, look at the dead birdie."
Britney looks up at the sky and says, "Where?!"

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!''
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''

There once was a bear and a rabbit that hated each other. One day, they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each three wishes.The bear went first and he said,"I wish to be the only male bear in this forrest." And he got his wish.
The rabbit said, "I want a motercycle helmet." And he got his wish.
The bear went up and said, "I wish to be the only male bear in the United States, and all the rest to be female." And he got his wish.
The rabbit said, "I wish I had a motorcycle to go with that helmet." And he got his wish.
The bear said, "I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females." And he got his wish.
It was the rabbit's turn, and he said, "I wish that bear was gay"

A blonde went to eletronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?"
The salesman said, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don't sell to blondes."
She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?"
"Because that is not a TV, it's a microwave."

My personal best,-
.
This guy goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor shows him an inkblot and asks him what it looks like.
"A naked woman." He shows him another inkblot and asks him the same question.
"A naked woman on a bed."
"You're a sick pervert!" the psychiatrist exclaims.
"I'm not the pervert. You keep showing me all these filthy pictures!"

"

larayat:

habaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa d joke was gud though nt really funny.

hahahaha , stale jokes u meant my love

@studio43
I didnt ask for ur compliment na?
I go tear ur pant ooo!

Mr bad bele

Mr bad bele

y u dey post twice

na back up

I will cry ooo!

who com beg u?abeg water don scarce jare,begin cry jor

If fact, i must cry!

go on i need just five liters of eyes water

U wan kill me?
I go try cry 2 cup 4 u!
Shey u go manage am?

ok
no long thing den

long thing is good o

I cry but eyes water no comot!
Shey u go manage my smell smell shit?
{}
A hitchhiker walks down the road. Unfortunately, he has the runs and has to stop every 15 minutes. A truck driver stops and offers a ride, but warns him that he won't stop for anything.About 10 minutes on the road, the hitchhiker begs the truck driver to stop, and the driver tells him, "Stick your butt out the window if you have to go so bad."The hitchhiker sticks his butt out the window and lets loose. Unfortunately, he doesn't notice the two guys walking on the roadside.Sprayed with feces, the first guy wipes his face and says, "What are them truckers chewing these days?"The second guy wipes his face and says, "I don't know, but did you see the lips on that guy?"
{}

Once there was a blonde who wanted to prove to people that she wasn't just a dumb blonde. So she asks her friend, "How can I show people I'm not just a dumb blonde?"
Her friend says, "First, learn all the provinces and their capitals."
So that week the blonde learned them. The next week she was at a party and a man asked a question. The blonde says, "I know the answer!"
Then the man says, "What would you know? You're just a dumb blonde."
Then the blonde says, "I'll have you know I'm not just a dumb blonde, I know all the provinces and their capitals."
Then the man says, " Okay, Saskatchewan."
The blonde starts to grin.
"What are you grinning about?" says the man.
The blonde says, "Easy. S."

E bi like say i get constipation for eye?
How come say i not fit cry?