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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? (8792 Views)
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Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by Nobody: 3:31pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
This thread was inspired by another (The power of grudges in the family.) and some family members of mine who are known for bearing grudges for a while, whether they have been really wronged or just imaginatively. What kind of person are you? Quick to forgive or rather resentful or even vindictive? I am trying to understand what the psychology is behind a forgiving and unforgiving nature? And maybe we can help some people cope with their rather unforgiving family members. |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by ladyF(f): 3:33pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
I'm quick to forgive, holden grudges puts a burden on you,. If the Heavenly father can forgive you of your very many sins, who are you not to forgive others |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by Nobody: 3:37pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
ladyF: It is a nice attitude you have but people who are unforgiving know it too and yet are not able to let go of their anger easily. 2 Likes |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by therealdeal10: 3:48pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
I hold grudge 4 a while buh later forgive 6 Likes |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by ATMC(f): 3:52pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
It depends. I am forgiving, unforgiving, vindictive and above all HUMAN. 1 Like |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by ATMC(f): 3:53pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
therealdeal10:Same here. And when I forgive, I forget. 1 Like |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by yomi007k(m): 3:58pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
therealdeal10:Real person |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by Nobody: 4:02pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
therealdeal10: What changes about your behavior and treatment of those you are angry with when you are still angry? What is it that makes you eventually forgive? |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by Nobody: 4:02pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
ATMC: What makes you forgive? What makes forgiveness impossible? In what ways do you take revenge? |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by Godmother(f): 4:03pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
therealdeal10: I'm like this too. I hold onto a hurt for a while but after a little while I let go. |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by Nobody: 4:04pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
Godmother: What do you mean by "little while"? It is interesting that you used the word hurt. It is said that anger is sadness or hurt in disguise. Could it be that the unforgiving types hurt more / are more sensitive? |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by Godmother(f): 4:06pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
Mindfulness: A little while for me could be a day to a few days. Also being sensitive doesn't really mean the person is unforgiving. I think it just depends on the individual"s make-up 1 Like |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by therealdeal10: 4:12pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
I dnt totally 4get bcus d person dat offended may wrong u again 1 Like |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by SAMBARRY: 4:17pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
I don't know how to hold grudges. You do or say something I find offensive, I drop it like it's hot and move on |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by therealdeal10: 4:21pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
There's dis big hate dat's always in me wen am offended, i dnt usually knw wat am doing again. I'm always restless Bcus i wnt 2 b happy, b free wit every1 dis lyf is too short n nobody knws 2moro. Me 2 i might av offended sm1 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by Nobody: 4:21pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
therealdeal10: Do you forgive? |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by therealdeal10: 4:21pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
I dnt totally 4get bcus d person dat offended may wrong u again |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by Nobody: 4:22pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
SAMBARRY: So you never hurt? You have no feelings? |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by 5minsmadness: 4:22pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
I hold grudges. Usually if someone does me bad and doesn't apologize I hold the grudge for as long as possible. By holding a grudge I mean I ignore the person completely. No calls no text. If the person approaches me I interact minimally. I don't go all out to exact revenge. I just wipe the person from my existence. 8 Likes |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by Nobody: 4:22pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
therealdeal10: If there is hate like you say, how do you drop it? |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by Nobody: 4:24pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
5minsmadness: Does it not affect you to bear a grudge? I mean, at the end of the day, it is YOUR anger, it is inside of you. If the person apologizes, are you able to forgive? |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by SAMBARRY: 4:25pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
Mindfulness:of course I feel hurt and I have feelings. I mean if someone does or says something I don't like I'll tell him straight up instead of holding grudges. Nobody is worth having high bp for |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by Nobody: 4:28pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
SAMBARRY: So your telling the person "straight up" is your coping mechanism when people wrong and hurt you. Could it be then that the people who hold grudges, hold them because they are for some reason bottling up their feelings of hurt instead of communicating them effectively? |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by therealdeal10: 4:28pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
I tell d person in question wat he's done n move on meaning i'll b free wit myself |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by Nobody: 4:30pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
therealdeal10: I suppose you assume that when people wrong you, they do so intentionally, am I right? |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by SAMBARRY: 4:42pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
Mindfulness:gbam. Health practitioners have revealed that bottling someone who has hurt you is like drinking poison and expecting the person you are hating to die. Bottom line holding grudges hurt you more than the other so to free your soul tell him or her so his or her 1 Like |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by 5minsmadness: 4:46pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
Mindfulness:Apologising is like a trigger action. As soon as the person does so I forgive immediately and forget completely. Yes it hurts to hold a grudge. It's not healthy. It's something I'm working on as a matter of fact. |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by Nobody: 4:47pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
SAMBARRY: @bold My conviction but forgiveness does not always come easy. Sometimes it takes time. It is a process and it is a long one for some people. 1 Like |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by LaRoyalHighness(f): 4:49pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
It takes a long time for me to forgive 1 Like |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by Nobody: 4:50pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
5minsmadness: It is interesting that an apology can make you even forget the hurt. Many people are able to forgive but they never forget so you have an advantage here when you get an apology. It is good you are working on yourself but don't put yourself under pressure. It would be counterproductive. Sometimes time is needed, other times you may just need to express your anger by communicating it. |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by Nobody: 4:50pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
LaRoyalHighness: Why? |
Re: Are You The Forgiving Type Or Do You Hold Grudges For A While? by 5minsmadness: 4:51pm On Sep 13, 2015 |
Mindfulness:This is very true. It's possible that people who hold grudges are far more sensitive than those who don't. They feel the person that hurt them ought to know better. Funny enough such people can also be very kind. It is in others taking advantage of thier kindness that they feel really hurt. 5 Likes |
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