This write up is not in anyway an attempt to mock
God or any ministry, but just to add laughter to our
faces and praise the Almighty God, who so much
loves us. Though we are many (different parts), we
belongs to one body (God). Relax and enjoy.

1). HOLY SWAG MINISTRIES: These ministries
believes that you must be filled with the Holy Ghost
and have swag to prove that truly the lord is good.
Their fashion sense does not have part two. They
preach powerful messages, they change lives and
raise pace-setters. Their young men are actually
achieving greatness in life. I pray to God to increase
their swag and strengthen their ministers in Jesus
name, amen. Examples: Harvesters (Hicc), Christ
Embassy, Daystar, Covenant Christians Centre etc.

2) BLOOD OF JESUS/HOLY GHOST MINISTRIES:
These ministries does not play with the blood of
Jesus and Holy Ghost fire. They must sprinkle the
blood before sitting and standing. They greet their
neighbours with the blood. They have finished the
blood of Jesus, it is only remaining the blood of God.
I pray their fire will not be quenched by any power of
darkness in Jesus name, amen. Examples: MFM,
CAC, LIBERATION CITY ETC.

3) NO SHOE MINISTRIES: Well, these ministries is
very special because our dear President was once a
member of these ministries before he was called to a
higher ministry of designer shoes. I thank God we are
not all in these ministries because it will have been a
different story for those who finds themselves in the
shoe making ministry like our brothers in Aba. Praise
God. I pray their labour of faith will not be in vain in
Jesus name, amen. Examples Cele, C&S, O.O.OBU.

4). HOLINESS/HOLY THAN THOU MINISTRIES: I pray
the next technological invention will be holiness
scanner, to help these ministries to identify those
stubborn members who does not want to be holy
despite the effort of the pastors. Their only agenda
is to make everyone holy. In their posters, you will
see something like; holiness heals Ebola. I pray their
garment of holiness will not be stained before the
coming of Christ in Jesus name. Amen. Examples:
Deeper life, Redeemed, Lords Chosen etc.

5). THE YOUNG SHALL GROW MINISTERIES: These
are the new ministries we normally finds in shops,
backyards and under tent etc. We really needs to
show love and support to these set of ministries
though we might not worship with them. A times
situation of things and frustration of life can make
one to give up and refuse to answer his or her
callings. I want to encourage them not to give up
and keeps trusting in God, though sorrow may endure
for the night joy will surely comes in the morning.
The beginning might be tough but there is always
light at the end of every tunnel in life. I pray the joy
of the lord continued to be your strength in Jesus
name, amen.
Examples: name them

6). SPIRITUAL DELIVERANCE MINISTRIES: these
ground are holy warfront that even the devil is
aware. They don't joke with evil spirits. Any evil spirit
that try it, has entered one chance. Their deliverance
and boxing are almost the same. If you doubt me if
them a try. To the glory of God people are sharing
wonderful testimonies of what God has done for them
through these ministries. I pray the anointing of God
upon these ministries shall never runs dry in Jesus
name, amen. Examples: Synagogue, Mercyland,
Liberation City etc.

7). OLD TIMES RELIGION MINISTRIES: We bless God
for these ministries who have sustained their
doctrines since AD till date. They don't joke with their
doctrines and are not threatened by what
Pentecostal are doing. That's standard. I pray God
help them to sustain these doctrines till the coming
of the bride of the church in Jesus name, amen.
Examples: Catholic, Anglican, Methodist, Lutheran
etc.
cool.
SEVENTH DAY MINISTRIES: These ministries
don't have their services on Sunday. It is on Saturday
that people normally relax they will be having their
programs. I thank God for the great and mighty
works they are doing. I pray God will grant all their
heart desires in Jesus name, amen. Examples:
Seventh day Adventists, Sabbath etc.

9). PROSPERITY MINISTRIES: These ministries
believes that money is very essential if the gospel of
Christ must get to the end of the earth. They teach
kingdom prosperity principles which has been
evidence in the lives of their followers who practice
the principles. Though people keeps critising them,
they keeps doing what God has called them to do
without giving a d*mn about what people are saying.
I pray their source will never runs dry in Jesus name,
amen. Examples: Faith Tabernacle, Trem, Christ
Embassy etc.

10). END TIME ARMIES MINISTRIES: truly, these
people are the real end time armies because of the
type of risks they normally take just to get the
gospel across to every homes. Some of them have
been embarrassed, harassed and assaulted but they
refused to give up. They walks miles, visits anywhere
they can fine human beings. They go to junctions
and street corners just to share the knowledge of
Gods word. They are not ashame of the gospel. They
denied themselves good things of life just to win
souls for Christ. I pray God will continue to guide
their footsteps and direct their path in Jesus name,
amen. Examples: Jehovah Witnesses, Deeper Life,
Assemblies of God. Add yours.

They are all cool compared to the day I was passing along express/new parts at Onitsha and them I saw a church with this name "Jesus The Miracle Finger of God Mission"
I was speechless.

ladyF:

surprised to see u in religion section

chocolateme:
They are all cool compared to the day I was passing along express/new parts at Onitsha and them I saw a church with this name "Jesus The Miracle Finger of God Mission"
I was speechless.

Lmaoo
so which of these groups do u classify them?

NEPABOY:
Lmaoo
so which of these groups do u classify them?

honestly I can't tell

What do you stand to gain in all theses crap? Everybody is typing 10types, 8types 6types of this and that, you decided to bring your own to the church, right? If Jesus meets you in this will He be happy? Give your life to Jesus!

Funny how christ embassy popped up "twice". They are obviously full of sh|t !

Samfigo1:
What do you stand to gain in all theses crap? Everybody is typing 10types, 8types 6types of this and that, you decided to bring your own to the church, right? If Jesus meets you in this will He be happy? Give your life to Jesus!

Preacher preach to me,I am all ears