This is a guest post by my friends, they power the Write Change Nigeria Initiative (www.writechangenigeria.com)
Enjoy! I heard Khumalo said English grammar is crazy.

Then I went on a voyage of discovery and here are my findings- It is still quite amazing how you can’t find a man in mango.

There are no straws in strawberries and Manage has little or nothing to do with a man’s age. We don’t get to get a fish in a crayfish, and they are not similar. Water leaf does not run like tap and that leaf doesn’t even look like a bottle that can hold water.

You don’t need a table for something to be acceptable and relationships don’t really get to live in ships.

If the act of being lazy is laziness, and when you are reckless, it’s called recklessness, why is ‘justicness’ a taboo? Nobody ever say “justiceness” when you are just.

You are just ‘just’ for being just and “idiotness” is completely unknown to English language even when you exhibit such virtues inherent in an idiot.

You actually wouldn’t need to stand under to under-stand. Why pay the customs to import before you can make people see the importance of something? Those two terms are actually unrelated.

There are no legs in legislations, neither do you legislate with the legs at all; at least you don’t get to slate your legs. Succession needs no iota of success to be succession, and common, rams do not wear pants, so what the heck is rampant?

If Africans are Africans because they fall under that part of the continent and Americans share the same story. If Indians, Ghanaians and Nigerians are guided by the same rule, why don’t we have Chinans or Englandans in China and England respectively? I have issues with lawyers practicing law too, especially when doctors don’t doct. Lecturers lecture, teachers teach, researchers’ research but we don’t have yet scienters. English language succeeded putting on them, the cloak of “scientists”.

It actually helped those who should be nursers too, instead, nurse nurses. Singers can sing, writers are those who write but poeters don’t poet, a poet writes poem and heck, dramatists do not drama, they act. Why does the sun shine and the moon can’t mhine? Couldn’t English be more even and accurate with words? Why can’t ‘human’ be gender-equalized with ‘huwoman’? Life may be a little easier if English grammar is not so clumsy and confusing.

If it is bad, then it can be badder and baddest, but English grammar will declare it incorrect. We have uglier and ugliest, yet someone said ‘beautifulest’ is not allowed. If reading is allowed and drinking and walking is not a bad idea, why should hearing be against the use of English? On our way home last night, Yemi walked and Jerry trekked but I couldn’t say ‘I runned’ because English said I ran! One who leads today would have led yesterday, same with feeding and –fed, but I read today and I still read yesterday. English is that bad. The plural of mouse is mice, it is lice for louse but blice wouldn’t work for a blouse.

You could have kept a book for me because I gave you to keep it and wept few hours since the present tense is peep but no one could have ‘pept’ into my room before my arrival, only ‘peeped’ works for ‘peep’.

The way English uses the prefix of ILL is quite alarming. When an action is illegal, does it mean it is legally indisposed? Are illiterates considered generally ill? By the way, injustice is when the term ‘injustice’ gets a different prefix compared with illegal. We could just have them all ill, as in illjustice, illequitable, illevitable, illegal or choose to have them all in- inlegal, injustice, inliterate or inlusion. Everything is not just balanced with English.

By the way, when I typed ‘by the way’, I wasn’t by the way. I was by my bed, but ‘by the way’ is correct is that sense any way. And to my friends who always find love (especially those who find love every week), is anyone aware that something has to be lost before you can find it? Motivational “speechers” who encourage us to ‘walk tall’

http://www.galvinggrey..com.ng/2015/09/english-is-crazy-language.html?m=1

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